Declan dropped her hand and sat back. His jaw clenched as he raked his fingers through his hair. The separation from his touch pained Charlotte. Her body ached for the physical contact he now withheld. She craved his touch, somehow believing it was an affirmation that his feelings for her wouldn’t change.
A sickness twisted inside her as she choked down her worst fears, continuing her confession. “I was finally able to get away.” She blew out a breath, swallowing hard before spurting out the horror of that night. “Everything had happened so fast. One minute I was fast asleep and the next screaming against the unforgiving tape forced over my lips. He covered my head, obliterating my ability to see anything. I knew he placed me inside some sort of a cargo van because I had a great deal of room to be tossed around as the vehicle turned through the streets. Eventually the noises of living in town gave way to the quiet silence of somewhere rural.
“I figured he was simply pushing my buttons, invoking an element of fear in our play. He wanted me scared, confused, and aroused. I was calm at first.” Charlie wrung her hands as she relayed the events of that night. “My captor hadn’t spoken a word of instruction nor allowed his body to touch mine. Even when he tore the pajama top from my body, cut my bra, and used it to bind my wrists against the rough bark of a tree, could I feel his skin. The heavy sack covering my head eliminated any scent of the cologne he usually wore, so I couldn’t tell if it was him or some stranger. There was nothing, no indication that the man who pulled me from my bed and plunged me into darkness was someone I knew.
“And suddenly nothing was okay. I heard several different male voices. I knew one of them was Griffin’s. Panic bloomed in me. We had an audience. At first I thought there was no way he would let them touch what was his, but then I became unsure. It didn’t matter. I’d learned well at his hands. My will was his will. I had no say, no voice, in what was to be done. I was to sit back and take it, be grateful to be driven to the heights of ecstasy no matter how objectionable the means.”
If only she had paid better attention. If only she had known the tears had just begun. If she knew that by the time the moon had given way to dawn she would be a crumpled, bloodied, and bruised mess, and still unaware of where she was or what would happen next. It had been such a long day for her, such an evil day.
Charlie bristled at the memory. “It ended when they dropped me on the doorstep of the campus clinic the morning of my birthday. It was his present to me.”
There was a spark of rage in Declan’s eyes that made Charlotte wary. Darkness tracked over his face, and her heart filled with regret for telling him everything. She sobbed uncontrollably. She wished Griffin had remained a painful scar instead of the disease that was now infecting her relationship with Declan.
He moved closer, wrapping his arms around her, and she looked up at him. He didn’t seem angry with her, and relief washed over her. It was hard enough navigating their relationship before. It was so new. She didn’t want to screw it up. She was already in love with Declan.
Declan’s hands slid over her body and back up her arms, before giving her another gentle squeeze. “Is this why you are always running from me? Are you afraid things will take a turn for the worse like they did with him?” Declan traced a finger down her cheek, stroking gently. “Charlotte, I’m not going to punish you like that. That would require a level of assholery that I’m not even bastard enough to pull off. I don’t want to be that guy with you. Ever. Because it would make me no better than that sick son of a bitch.”
Charlie nodded, some of the tension dissipating.
Declan’s voice lowered until it was soft, his gaze finding hers, warm and tender. “I need you to understand something, Charlotte. Your relationship with him was not good. It was some kind of fucked up, even by kink standards. Safe, sane, and consensual should be the rules for any relationship. You had no understanding between you of limitations and acceptable behavior. I am a demanding jerk. You and I both know that. But I am not so egotistical as to get my rocks off on something I would only enjoy. If there’s something you don’t like, then all you have to do is tell me. We’ll talk about it. And we will find a way to work around it.”
***
After Charlotte had set her demons free, he drew her into his chest. He stroked her hair, unable to keep his hands from her. With a sigh of contentment, she turned and put her head against his heart, and within minutes she fell asleep. For Declan, sleep didn’t come as easily. Instead, the words she relayed crashed down and tormented him.
A dog collar? A fucking dog collar? Griffin had marched her in to PetSmart and made her pick out her own. Wide black leather with lots of chrome and spikes and a matching chrome leash. Adding insult to injury, he had refused a bag when the cashier offered it. Instead, he had subjected Charlotte to public submission and humiliation by fastening it around her neck right there and then clipping the leash to it. He had led her out the door like a damned dog.
It was obvious her previous owner thought the collar was a reflection of himself, which was both arrogant and idiotic. A collar should represent care of his submissive, how in touch he was with her, and it should fit the woman wearing it. It should be a piece that fit her personality. It should be made especially for her. A gift to make her feel special, not like an animal to be caged and kept and punished.
Declan came to the realization he needed to make Charlotte feel loved, cherished, and protected.
Chapter Fourteen
Six weeks before Christmas, Declan waited patiently in the back room of Owen’s tattoo shop. He thought about the style of collar he wanted for Charlotte. He wanted something she could wear out in public. Something that reflected her personality. It had to be understated yet vibrant. Not some random piece of jewelry chosen on a whim.
It was perfect timing. Declan hadn’t felt as though Charlotte was ready for this step, or that he could take it with her until he could get to the bottom of her fears. Her past demons would be dealt with tonight, and then he could focus solely on Charlotte. Griffin would no longer be a threat.
When Owen had called him informing him he’d located Griffin, he’d been careful to arrange things precisely. Declan hadn’t explained to Charlotte why he’d been so adamant with his expectations for the week. He could hardly tell her that he needed the week to take care of that asshole who’d put his hands on her. Declan didn’t want to take any chances that Griffin would be lying in wait for her. He had her phone number, so he was almost certain to know where she lived as well. Declan hadn’t wanted her to go anywhere except to work and home, his home. It was easy enough to convince her. Her sister was driving her mad, and she needed some space away from the berserk bride.
The door opened. “Declan, you’re all set. Here’s the address of the club. Everything’s all-set. Lila double-checked the appointment time. He’s there every Friday at seven.”
Declan nodded. “Thanks. It means a lot to me.”
“You really should keep your hands clean on this. If you’re found out, you’ll be risking everything.”
Declan’s lips tightened. “I need my point made. I need him to know whom he’s dealing with. I want him to fear me. He needs to know I can destroy him if he ever so much as breathes Charlotte’s name again.”
Owen smiled ruefully. “I see your point. I have to admit if some motherfucker messed with Lila like that; I’d take matters into my own hands.”
“You understand me then.”
Owen nodded. “Yeah, I get it. I don’t like that you have to do it on your own, but I get why you have to. I’m just concerned it will come back to bite you in the ass.”