Then a girl from the tourist centre named Lyuda showed up.
“You have a telegram,” she said. “And Major Belyaev is looking for you.”
“Belyaev who? From where?”
“Our old man says from the Ministry of the Interior.”
“Just what I need! Can you tell him I’m unwell? That I’m unwell and in Pskov…”
“He knows.”
“What does he know?”
“That you’ve been unwell for quite a few days. He said, ‘Tell him to stop by after he sleeps it off.’”
“Stop by where?”
“The building next to the post office. Anyone will show you. Here’s the telegram.”
Shyly, the girl faced the other way and removed from her bra a bluish scrap of paper folded to the size of a postage stamp.
I unfolded the warm telegram and read:
“Flying Wed. night. Tanya. Masha.”
Only five words and some cryptic numbers.
“What day is it today?”
“It was Tuesday this morning,” joked Lyuda.
“When did you receive the telegram?”
“Marianna brought it from Voronich.”
“When?”
“I told you, Saturday.”
I wanted to say, “And where were you before?” but changed my mind. They were where they were supposed to be. A better question was: where was I?
The earliest I could leave was on the evening bus. I’d get into Leningrad around six in the morning…
“He knows all about the telegram,” Lyuda said.
“Who?”
“Comrade Belyaev.”
Lyuda was a tiny bit proud of the acuity and omniscience of this foreboding major.
“Comrade Belyaev said that you should see him before you leave. Or you’ll get an ass-kicking… His exact words…”
“What old-fashioned courtesy!” I said…
Feverishly, I tried to collect my thoughts. My money added up to around four roubles. Still the same mystical four roubles. I felt horrible…
“Lyuda,” I asked, “do you have any money?”
“Around forty copecks… I took the bike…”
“And?”
“Take my bicycle, I’ll walk. Leave it with someone in the settlement…”
The last time I rode a bike I was a schoolboy. Back then it seemed like a fun thing to do. Evidently I had aged.
The road was gnarled with pine roots. The bicycle clanked as it bobbed up and down. The small hard saddle traumatized my behind. The wheels kept sinking in the damp sand. My tortured insides responded to every jolt with a spasm.
I stopped by the tourist centre, leaning the bicycle against a wall.
Galina was by herself. My appearance did not startle her. She asked:
“Did you receive the telegram?”
I guess it would be hard to surprise anyone here with drunkenness.
I said:
“I need thirty roubles from the safe. I’ll pay it back in two weeks. Just don’t ask any questions.”
“I know everything anyway. Your wife betrayed the motherland.”
“Alas,” I said.
“And now she is leaving for the West.”
“It looks that way.”
“And you are staying?”
“Yes, I am staying. As you know…”
“And you’ll continue working?”
“Of course. If I don’t get fired…”
“Is it true that only Jews live in Israel? Listen, are you ill? Would you like some water?”
“Water won’t help. How about the money?”
“Only why from the safe? I have my own…”
I wanted to kiss Galina but held myself back. Her reaction could have been most unpredictable.
I got on the bicycle and went to the monastery.
The day was warm, but cloudy. The shadows of the trees were barely distinguishable from the grey asphalt. Tourists ambled along the side of the road. There were some that wore rainproof jackets.
I raced towards the sandy slope. I had a hard time holding on to the handlebars. Boulders tarnished by a coating of grey flew by…
The Ministry of the Interior’s local branch was pointed out to me straight away.
“It’s the building after the post office,” the cleaner from The Seashore waved. “See that flag on the roof?”
I pedalled on.
The doors of the post office were wide open. Inside were two long-distance phone booths. One of them was occupied. A gesticulating blonde with big legs was shouting:
“Tata, do you hear? I wouldn’t advise you to come… The weather here is B-minus… But most importantly, there are absolutely no guys here… Hello, do you hear me? Lots of girls leave without feeling refreshed…”
I put on the brakes and pricked up my ears. Mentally I reached for the pen…
As dreadful as things looked, I was still alive. And, perhaps, the last thing to die in a man is his baseness. His ability to respond to peroxide blondes and the need to write…
On the steps of the ministry building, I ran into Guryanov. We nearly collided, so he couldn’t avoid me.
At university, Guryanov was nicknamed Lenya the Snitch. His main responsibility was keeping an eye on foreigners.
What’s more, Guryanov was famous for his extraordinary ignorance. Once he was taking an oral exam with professor Byaly. Guryanov drew the question on the Tales of Ivan Belkin.*
Lenya attempted to broaden the theme. He opened on the subject of the Tsarist regime.
But the examiner asked:
“Have you read the Tales of Ivan Belkin?”
“Not really, I never had the occasion,” replied Lenya. “Do you recommend it?”
“Yes.” Byaly contained himself. “I strongly recommend that you read this book…”
Lenya came to see Byaly a month later and said:
“I’ve read it. Thank you. I liked a lot of it.”
“And what did you like?” Byaly was curious.
Lenya tensed up, then remembered and said:
“The tale of Ivan Onegin…”
And here we ran into each other on the steps of the KGB.
At first he was a little taken aback. He wanted to walk away without saying hello. He lurched to the side, but it was difficult to miss each other on that porch. So he said:
“Well, hello, hello… Belyaev is waiting for you…”
He wanted to make it seem like everything was OK. As if we’d run into each other in a polyclinic and not the Gestapo.
I asked:
“Is he your boss?”
“Who?”
“Belyaev… Or a subordinate?”
“Don’t be ironic,” said Guryanov.
His voice had a firm, authoritative note.
“And remember, the KGB is the most progressive organization today. It’s where the real power of the state is. And, by the way, the most humane… If you only knew what kind of people they are!”
“I’ll know in a minute,” I said.
“You’re terribly infantile,” said Guryanov. “It could end badly…”
This wasn’t easy to listen to with a hangover!
I went past him, turned around and said:
“And you, Guryanov, are a piece of shit! You’re a shit, an imbecile and a scoundrel! And you’ll always be a scoundrel even if they make you a senior lieutenant… You know why you snitch? Because women don’t like you…”
Guryanov capitulated as he stepped back. He tried to choose between indifference and superiority, but it ended in rancour.
I, however, felt great relief. And anyway, what could be better than an unexpected verbal release?
Guryanov hadn’t prepared for insults. Which is why he suddenly started to speak in a normal and natural voice:
“It’s easy to humiliate a comrade… But you don’t know how it all happened…”
He switched to a sonorous whisper:
“I nearly got thrown in the locker as a kid. The authorities practically saved me. They got me into university. Now they’re promising a residency permit. Because I’m from Kulunda… Have you been to Kulunda? It’s a pleasure below average…”
“Ah,” I said, “now it all makes sense… Kulunda changes everything…”
I’m forever listening to the outpourings of monsters. It must mean that I am predisposed to madmen…