Hilary wanted him back. That was all he could think about.
He still fantasized about her, maybe not as much as he used to, but every time he saw her he couldn’t help but remember the feel of her hands on his chest, the sweet smell of her neck just below her ear. And now, after all this time, she wanted to meet. Alone. At night. He’d been wishing for something like this for so long.
She’s psychotic.
Those were Lucy’s words. He’d never forgotten them. Lucy described such a vindictive, nasty Hilary, one that he had no memory of. Psychotic sort of matched the Hilary he’d seen shaving Belinda’s head, and enjoying it. It definitely fit the girl he saw savagely attack Lucy on the quad.
Lucy.
How could anyone attack Lucy? She was so good. So kind.
David understood now why Will thought she was so amazing.
She had such an easy way about her, so disarming, so beautiful. He always felt relaxed around her. As time had passed, David had become more at ease about what happened at the graduation booth with Brad. Brad’s death was a horrible thing, but David shuddered to think what could have happened if he hadn’t intervened. He felt violent at the thought of someone trying to hurt Lucy and damaging such a pure spirit. If he had to live it over, he wouldn’t do any different.
He’d kill Brad all over again if that’s what it took to keep her safe.
David reached the door to the Pretty Ones’ trading post. He reached out to knock on the door but paused.
Was this really what he wanted? He’d built a gang. He’d come back from being entirely forgotten and had become a real force in the school. And now he was thinking about hopping into bed with the girl who’d treated some of his gang like dirt? If Lucy ever found out…
It didn’t matter what Lucy thought. He’d wanted this for almost a year and a half.
David gave the door a soft knock and stepped back. She might not have shown. Maybe she’d chickened out. That would settle it. David’s eyes wandered up to a sprinkler pipe above him. It was the same pipe Sam had hung him from.
The door clicked open. Hilary peeked out from the crack between the door and the door frame.
“Hey,” David said.
Hilary threw the door open and grabbed David by his belt buckle. She yanked him into the candlelit classroom. He closed the door behind him and barely had a chance to lock it before she swung him over to a teacher’s desk.
“Whoa, easy,” David said.
Hilary didn’t say anything. She was all over him. She kissed him. She tore at his shirt. It was his good flannel shirt, and he tried to stop her. She pushed his hands away. She wrapped her legs around him, and her hands locked around the back of his neck. The candles were dim, so he could barely see her face.
“Slow down,” he whispered in her ear. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He wanted to savor every moment, he had been craving this for so long. He wanted it to be like it used to be, back in his room, before everything went to hell.
“I need you right now,” Hilary said. She tugged at his belt, trying to unfasten it. Just go with it, David told himself. Here she is, in your arms again. What the hell are you complaining about?
He slipped her dress up and held her firm thighs, pulling them closer to him.
“Mmmmmm,” she moaned, and closed her eyes. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. She managed to get his belt loose and was working on the top button of his jeans. He was kissing her neck, searching for that sweet spot. She didn’t smell the same as he remembered. Maybe he had it confused with something else… with Lucy, when they were in the elevator, her arm over him, so close, so warm. She would never forgive him if she found out about Hilary.
Shut up.
“Don’t stop,” Hilary said. He didn’t realize he had. She managed to get his pants unbuttoned. She slid her fingers down inside. Her hand was cold, but it felt amazing. David hadn’t been with anyone since Hilary. But Hilary had. She’d been with Sam. It turned his stomach.
David pushed Hilary away, which forced her to plant her feet on the ground.
“What are you doing?” she said.
David buttoned his pants and stepped away from the desk.
He didn’t know what to say.
“David?”
“I need a second,” he said. “What are we doing here?”
“This,” she said. She pressed herself into him, and went in for an openmouthed kiss. He pulled his head away.
They stared at each other for a moment. Tears gathered on her eyelashes and twinkled in the light of the candles.
“Don’t cry,” David said.
“Sam killed Alan today.”
“What?”
“He killed him. For no reason. He just beat his face with a…” She couldn’t go on, she was sobbing too hard. She pushed away from David. A shiver came over David. Alan. Out of all of Varsity, why Alan? He was one of the most cheerful kids David had ever met.
“Alan’s dead?” he said again. It didn’t feel possible.
Hilary collapsed into a chair, lifting her feet up onto the seat and tucking her knees underneath her chin. David pulled a chair around to face her and sat down. He leaned forward, placing his hands on her legs.
“Sam’s lost it. Ever since you beat him on the quad, he’s been worse. He thinks everybody’s out to get him. I’m trying to act like everything’s okay for the Pretty Ones, but I’m scared.
When’s he gonna swing that baseball bat at me?” Hilary sobbed again. This wasn’t what he wanted. He thought they’d talk about their feelings. She’d tell him
everything she’d felt about him for the past year and a half, and he’d do the same. He never thought it would be this.
“He’s made me do so many awful things. Things I never would have done.”
“Why did you do them?” David said. It sounded cold, but he needed to know. She looked at him like she was offended.
“You don’t know what it’s been like.”
“I think I do,” David said. “He tried to hang me.”
“Well, we all can’t be as noble as you, David.”
“That’s a cop-out.”
“I had to survive, David!” Hilary said. David realized that she had probably never said any of this to anyone. “And he was my boyfriend.”
“He’s not anymore?”
“It’s complicated.”
“He kills people. And lets others starve. Why would you stay with him?” David said.
“You kill people too.”
That got David’s anger up.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” David said.
Hilary stared at the door.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said finally.
The excitement he had felt walking into this room had died.
This wasn’t the girl he lost back at Sam’s party. Or maybe it was, but the feeling was gone. They didn’t belong together.
But he still cared for her. He didn’t want her to live in fear.
“Do you want to join the Loners?” David asked.
“You could kill him,” she said. “I could sneak you in. You could take over Varsity. I’d support you. I have the girls.
Everything would be okay. We could be like we were.” David stared at her. He couldn’t believe she’d just said all that. Who was this girl? She dumps him, acts like he’s invisible all this time, and then asks him to kill her boyfriend?
“I’m not going murder anybody, Hilary.”
“Why not? After everything he’s done to you? After everything he’s done to everybody,” Hilary got angry. “He’ll do it to you. He’s going to kill you!”
“Well, it sounds like he’s really going someplace.” Hilary stood up. She jabbed her finger at him like a knife.
“You’re an idiot. I’m giving you a chance to change things, David. Everybody could start over!”
“I already have started over.”
Hilary shook her head and pushed open the door.
“I’m sorry,” David said. And he was.
She slipped out into the hall and was gone. David let out a long breath.
“Oh, man…,” he said to himself. “That went well.” David leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair.