“So get the fuck out of here, then.”
“Look, why don’t we just ask Glenna which of us she wants to hang around.”
“What? She split, she’s gone, hasn’t that sunk in yet, you jackass?”
“We’ll call her and ask her.”
“I don’t have a number to reach her, and neither do you.”
“I admit I don’t. I just thought maybe you did. You say you live here.”
“Well… sometimes she leaves a number.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t know why I’m playing along with you on this, I really don’t…”
“We’ll call. Come on.”
“She won’t be there till tomorrow, at least. She’s driving, and it’s a long way where she’s headed.”
“Where’s that?”
“You’re her new boyfriend and you don’t know? Hey. That’s all. That’s all I can take. Just haul your ass off that couch and get outa here. Okay?”
I was admiring a metallic abstract sculpture on the glass coffee table between us. It was egg-shaped, the sculpture, with an indentation on either side, and about the size of a baseball, a little taller maybe. When I hit him with it, he went down without a sound. He missed the table, landed soft on the tufts of shag carpet. I hit him again, once, in the same spot, and made sure the skull was cracked open.
One good thing was he landed on his right side and it was his left side I’d hit, the left side of his head I mean, so there wasn’t any blood on the carpet, and wouldn’t be if I moved him quick and careful.
I left him in the bathtub, after pulling off his trunks, heaving him in, turning on the shower, and leaving him looking like he’d slipped and fallen in there, cracking his head open against the side of the tub.
The work of art I wrapped in a towel and took with me, for later disposal.
The telephone number she left him I found under the phone.
5
Killing people with blunt objects isn’t really my style, but then style is a luxury I can’t always indulge in. Carrying on a conversation with somebody I know I’m going to have to kill isn’t my style, either. Under ideal conditions I’d just walk in, without a word, use my gun, and go. Hello, goodbye.
But conditions aren’t always ideal. Sometimes conditions are pure shit. And being able to adapt to an unforeseen, shit situation is what separates the men from the boys, the living from the dead. Being able to adapt and survive.
That I learned in Vietnam. I learned a lot of things in Vietnam, not the least of which was the meaninglessness of life and death, and the importance of survival. Those may not seem compatible, but they are. Only when you realize how little your life means, and how slender a thread it hangs on, do you begin to know the meaning of the word survival.
There’s nobody easier to kill than a self-important man, a man who feels the world revolves around him, a man who finds it hard to imagine that maybe things would go on without him. For instance. Political assassinations. Every- body knows they happen every day, but there isn’t a world leader living who wouldn’t be shocked to be dying.
Of course that’s an easy example. Everybody knows it’s easier for a politician to grasp the possibility of a nuclear war ending the world than to understand that a bullet through his brain, say, could end a brilliant political career. And those of them that live through assassination attempts teach their crippled bodies to walk again so as to get back on the firing line as soon as possible.
I’ll tell you who else is an easy mark: anybody sitting on the board of any corporation. Wouldn’t have to be General Motors or U.S. Steel or anything. It could be the lowliest member of the board of the country’s least successful condom company. There isn’t a one of those assholes whose last words wouldn’t be, “There must be some mistake.”
But it’s also the guy who’s been smoking for twenty-five years and has a hacking cough and is short of wind but keeps on lighting up smoke after smoke, pack after pack, and when the doctor shows the guy the X-ray of what’s left of his lungs, well, nobody could be more surprised.
Religious people are easy marks, too. They all think the fix is in.
It isn’t. Not in this world, anyway.
For five years, more or less, I killed people for money. Good money, that is. Before that I’d done it for lousy money, for Uncle Sugar; and in one case, for free, when I got home from Nam and found my wife in bed with a guy named Williams, who I didn’t kill on the spot, waiting a day to cool down and then going over to his house where he was in the driveway under his sporty little car and kicked the jack out. Sometimes I wish it had been my wife under there instead of that poor bastard Williams. Ex-wife, now. Anyway, it got some attention in the papers, which is probably how the Broker heard about me.
He’d picked a good time to come look me up. I’d spent I don’t know how long, months maybe, looking for work, but between the publicity I’d got for murdering my wife’s boyfriend, despite my acquittal, and the general bad reputation of returning Vietnam vets, who were considered poor risks for employment since all of us were crazed glassy-eyed dope addicts, I’d found nothing, nothing but a fleabag hotel room, a dose of clap from some hooker, and a visit from my old man who dropped by to tell me not to come back to Ohio because his latest wife was scared of me.
At any rate, he looked me up, the Broker did, and made me a business proposition which I accepted without hesitation. The Broker was a middle man in the murder business; he provided insulation between client and killer. “Sort of an agent,” he’d said. I was to be part of a team, a two-man team breaking down to active and passive, hitman and back-up. He felt I’d find the active role more to my liking. He was right.
He was right about a lot of things in those five years, though there had been one thing he was wrong about, but that’s a long story, which I’ve recorded elsewhere, and it would be beyond the purpose of this present account to go into all of that again.
Suffice to say I’m alive and the Broker isn’t. And I have the Broker’s list.
It’s a list running to approximately fifty names, fifty entries, each including extensive biographical information, current and previous addresses, photographs, and a record of each specific job carried out. I used to be on the list, but I removed and destroyed my entry as soon as the thing landed in my hands. But I’d been there. All of us were. All of the people like me who’d done work for the Broker.
(This is not to suggest any brotherhood, any bond, between myself and the others on the list. I’d only worked with a handful of them. My longtime partner, for instance, was dead.)
The Broker was by no means a unique entity; there were others like him. And by now most of the people on the list would be working again, carrying out new assignments for their new Brokers. Life goes on, after all. Death, too.
But for me there would be no more Brokers; no more middle men. No way.
I had the list.
And no desire to take over where the Broker left off, no intention of playing the middle man role myself and becoming what I’d come to hate. Nor did I have any intention of using the list to try and blackmail anyone on it. A hired killer isn’t your ideal blackmail victim. Docile they aren’t.
But suppose.
Suppose I were to pick a name off the list, pick a killer out of the Broker’s hat. Suppose I were to follow that killer to his latest job, wait and watch and find out who his potential victim might be. And suppose I were to then go to that potential victim and tell him what’s about to happen to him. And offer my help in the matter. Offer a little preventive medicine. For a fee.
It was a crazy idea.
But suppose it worked…
6
I brought the razor up to my throat and stroked. A final patch of beard disappeared and the face looking back at me in the mirror was vaguely familiar.