"It's empty. Just a big black room."
"So leave it alone." The Justicar sighed in annoyance, turning back to deal with the delay. "Come on!"
"Cool room, though!" Escalla turned the handle, opening the door. She jumped down from Polk and stood in the doorway. "See. There's nothing in here. Just a big flat shiny wall made out of iron."
A loud hum came from the room. Escalla took on a funny look for one brief second, and then she shot into the room and slammed spread-eagled onto the middle of the iron wall. Suspended three feet off the ground, Escalla's eyes bugged out. She tried to move, but her chainmail clothing was stuck fast to the wall.
"Ow! Jus! Jus, get me offa this!"
A roar erupted from the chamber as hidden doors slammed open all around the walls. Dozens of huge bugbears-stinking goblins, eight feet tall-raged into the room. All bore branches and wooden clubs.
Jus and Henry ran into the room. Henry wailed and flew through the air, plastering himself to the iron wall inches from Escalla-his own elven mail stuck tight. Jus's helmet broke its straps and flew through the air. Benelux screeched as she tumbled end over end to crash into the iron wall right beside Escalla's head. The bugbears looked at their trapped victims and gave a scream of joy as they scrambled toward Escalla and Henry with clubs ready to smash and pound.
Jerking like a fly on flypaper, Escalla squealed, "Jus! A little help here!"
The ranger was already on the move. "Enid!"
With Enid beside him, the Justicar flung himself into the room, and ten bugbears rampaged toward them. Jus caught a club bare-handed and spun into the blow, slamming the bugbear to the ground. A savage strike from his elbow broke the teeth of another bugbear behind. Jus caught another blow, then kicked a bugbear with enough force to break the monster's knee. A club crashed against Jus's shoulder, and Escalla's stoneskin spell fended off the blow in a shower of little bees.
Enid pounced into a knot of bugbears. Clubs lashed at her, and she took the head off a bugbear with one huge swipe of her paw.
At the iron wall, Escalla found herself the focus of a dozen charging monsters. She shrieked, turned into a small pink blob, and flowed out of her clothes, which stayed stuck to the wall. Clubs crashed onto the wall, and the blob-faerie rose up, boiling with fury.
"Bastards!"
Bugbears slammed a blow onto Henry's helmet, making the metal ring. An instant later, Escalla trilled a twisted scream, and the ground before Henry boiled with huge black tentacles. The black tentacles lashed out to crush and strangle half a dozen bugbears, shielding Henry from harm. Escalla-the-blob wiped her nonexistent nose and turned back to the fight, just in time to be hit by a club and go ricocheting from the walls like a rubber ball. She landed like a splat of pudding, shook herself in anger, and mottled herself polka-dot in rage.
"That does it!"
Power flashed, and a flaming point of searing heat appeared. Twisting a bugbears arm and breaking it, the Justicar took one appalled glance and dropped flat beneath Cinders's fireproof hide.
"Enid! Duck!"
The sphinx wailed and leaped over a dozen bugbears, landing behind Escalla as the blob fired. A fireball flashed into the far side of the room and exploded with apocalyptic force. At the center of the blast, bugbears vaporized. Others flew in smoking chunks through the air. Ecalla-the-blob laughed in maniacal glee, then stared in shock as a wave of heat raced straight toward her.
The force of the explosion bowled her and Enid back into one of the bugbears' alcoves. Still stuck on the wall Henry screamed as the hedge of black tentacles in front of him vaporized. Scorched but alive, the boy opened his eyes and stared in dazed amazement at a room that smoked in total ruin. The only uncharred thing in view was Cinders's gleaming teeth. The dog sniffed the breeze and happily thumped his tail.
Big bada-boom! Funny!
"Real funny." The Justicar, scorched around the edges and extremely annoyed, rose from beneath Cinders. He kicked a flaming bugbear out of his way then stuck his head into the alcove where Enid and Escalla staggered.
Enid was totally devoid of fur and feathers, and the tuft of her tail was on fire. Escalla-the-blob was now charred black, her two eyes showing white, dazed shock. The Justicar staggered over to Enid and used his last healing spell to repair her burns and restore her dignity. The big man held Escalla by the scruff of her protoplasm and shook the blob free of soot.
"I am now out of healing spells, and we have no healing potions. You personally have done more damage to us than the entire Abyss."
"Just me?" The faerie-blob coughed smoke rings. "H-hoopy! D-did we find any treasure?"
A gem lay on the floor amidst a nest of rags. The Justicar swept it up and shoved it in Escalla's mouth, planting her on the floor. He then returned to Henry and wrenched him free of the magnetized wall. Walking against the vast pull of the magnet, he wrestled Henry outside, then returned to retrieve Escalla's clothing, his helmet, and Benelux.
The magic sword cursed and babbled in absolute outrage. It won't do, sir! It shall not do! I have never been so humiliated-not since the day that I was forged!
Struggling to tow the sword out of the room, the Justicar merely growled.
Warming to her tirade, Benelux's voice rose like a matron-martyr. No, sir, it shall not do! I have been wielded by kings, sir! By demigods! Demigods! By heroes bold! The sword lacked lungs, and so had no need to pause for breath. That it should come to this-a victim of mere clumsiness. To be dropped in combat by a chosen warrior…
The Justicar opened his hand, and the sword flew through the air to clang against the magnetized wall. Benelux squawked in shock and pain and then went into a magnificent sulk.
Very well. We shall acknowledge that there may have been extenuating circumstances just this once.
Not bothering to answer, the Justicar wrenched the sword off the wall and began towing her back outside.
The sword squawked at her rough handling. Hmph! I had thought that romance might mellow your attitude toward the social graces.
"Nope."
I can see that.
The party gathered out on the open path, dusting blackened armor, snuffing out flames, and trying to repair their gear. The Justicar-flameproof in his hell hound skin and dragon scales- looked at Escalla with an expectant air.
The faerie had just changed back into her normal form and was contemplating the charred ruins of her underwear. She caught the Justicar's look and instantly went on the defensive.
"Like it was my fault!" The faerie tossed the blue bugbear gem into the portable hole. "Who killed all the bugbears anyway? Me!"
The Justicar simply looked at her, and Escalla squirmed.
"Fine. It was my suggestion to go into the room in the first place, but that does not make me actually responsible!"
No answer came, and Escalla wriggled on the hook.
"Oh, man! I thought love meant never having to say you're sorry!" Jerking her clothing on, Escalla fussed with her straps and skirt. "All right. Sorry! But I'm saying it in a sense of regret for mutual misadventure-not in responsibility! What do you want me to say?"
The Justicar retied his helmet's chin strap. " 'Sorry everyone for blowing you up.' "
"Nnnng!" Escalla took it all with extreme ill grace. "Sorry everyone for blowing you up!"
" 'I promise not to blow up my friends for at least another week.' "
"All right already! Don't rub it in!" The girl kicked at a smoking chunk of bugbear. "Damn it! I promise not to blow you all up for another week. Two weeks! There! Are you happy?"