It wasn't exactly that her money had been stolen or lost or anything. It was just that she had managed to spend in one week almost all her two years" savings on a man called Antonio. It was hard to realise quite how, but this had somehow happened. And so, on her first day in Ireland, she needed a job. There was an advertisement in the newspaper that she read on her way in from Dublin airport and she had phoned for an
interview, got the job in Quentins. Somehow the time had passed.
"You've fallen in love, that's why you're still there," her mother accused her by e-mail. But it wasn't true.
"There must be a crazy scene with those Irishmen," her friends wrote. But that wasn't true either.
What had happened was that Mon, or Monica Green (as she was never called), had settled in. She had worked in eleven different jobs since she left college, but for some reason she could never understand, Quentins was the first place she really called home. Patrick Brennan, the chef who taught her how to cook when things weren't too busy, his younger brother, called Blouse for some reason, who was a little less than intelligent but certainly not a fool. Patrick's cool, unflustered wife Brenda, who seemed to know everyone in Dublin. She felt as if she was some kind of a younger sister, part of the family. Mon was part of this team and she liked it. No need to move on. For the moment.
"We'll have to find you a fellow," Brenda Brennan said unexpectedly to Mon one morning.
"Why?" Mon was genuinely surprised.
It wasn't the way Brenda usually talked. She must have a reason for saying it. And indeed she had.
"You're very good, the customers like you, Mon, you'll go on somewhere else unless you get caught up in some complicated messy romance like they all do."
Brenda smiled as she spoke, as if she alone knew the ways of the mad world they lived in.
"Any advice and help always welcome," Mon said.
"Someone once said to me that I should keep my heart open as well as my eyes. It worked."
Mon gasped - immaculate, ice maiden Brenda telling her this. Maybe she was right. But after that amazingly foolish and romantic adventure with Antonio in Rome, Mon was being cautious. Perhaps she had swung too much to the other side. Maybe she should keep her heart more open. Or a fraction more open anyway.
Mon went through the restaurant before lunch as she did every day, checking that everything "was in place on every single table. Mr. Harris from the bank next door came in, to eat his lunch alone as he did three days a week. Dull man with nothing to say. His head always in a book, usually with a brown paper cover. Once Mon had laughingly asked him if it was pornography and his eyes had been cold. She made no more jokes. Her cheerful Aussie humour had been very unsuccessful.
"Miss Green," he nodded at her.
"Mr. Harris," Mon nodded back.
But Brenda had insisted on unfailing politeness and charm, even to those who did not return it. So Mon nailed on her smile as she handed him the menu.
"Chef has done a really beautiful monkfish today, Mr. Harris. I think you'd like it."
It was hard to know what the man would or would not like. He seemed to eat without noticing. None of them liked serving him.
About thirty-five, fortyish. Must have some big job in the bank, since he could afford to eat in Quentins so often. Never a guest or companion, never a newspaper or magazine, never a smile to left or right of him. Just studying books covered in brown paper.
Mr. Harris said he would try the monkfish and as Mon leaned over to pour him a glass of water, she accidentally knocked against his book, which fell to the ground and the cover came off.
It wasn't pornography, but it was something equally surprising. Pop psychology. A book offering twenty ways to a woman's heart. A Never Known to Fail guide to making any woman love you.
Mr. Harris and Mon Green looked aghast at each other and the book revealed in all its humiliating pathos.
Someone had to say something.
"Does it work, do you think?" Mon asked as she handed it back to him.
Mr. Harris had a face like thunder. "Why do you ask?" he wondered.
"Well, over a year back, when I was in Rome, I met this guy, Antonio, and well, I'd have read anything to get him, and they have that kind of guide for women too, to get to fellows" hearts, and you see, I couldn't find the bookstores that sold English books and then it was too late . .."
She knew that she was burbling on and on, but she couldn't stop.
"Too late?" Mr. Harris looked interested. "How did you know it was too late?"
"Well, Antonio had gone, and all my money. You see, I was going to invest in a sandwich bar with him
"He took your money?" Mr. Harris was horrified.
"Yes, well, that wasn't the worst bit ... actually none of it was too bad, but I'd sure like to have known the Way to his Heart," Mon admitted. Mr. Harris was looking at Mon as if he had never seen her before. "You mean, women actually read these books too?"
"You bet they do. Maybe the person you fancy is reading one "wherever she's having lunch today."
"I don't think so." Mr. Harris shook his head sadly.
"Mr. Harris, would you like to have a drink with me about six o"clock this evening and we could sort of pool what we think we know about the opposite sex?" Mon heard herself say.
Brenda Brennan was, of course, passing the table at that moment. She slowed down slightly so that she could hear Mr. Harris saying that nothing would give him more pleasure, and where would Miss Green suggest?
And for weeks they went out and sought manuals on how to be appealing to the opposite sex, which mainly involved being thoughtful and considerate and tactile.
Everyone knew that they fancied each other long before Mr. Harris and Miss Green did. Their faces lit up when they saw each other. The six o"clock drinks turned into dinners, and theatre visits. And when the annual Bank Dinner Dance came round, Mon was surprised that everyone in the restaurant knew that she was going to go as his guest.
They thought for a considerable time that they were only exchanging helpful books with brown paper covers. But it turned out, of course, that they didn't need these books at all. Mr. Harris and Miss Green had well found the way to each other's hearts long before either of them realised it.
The January Sales started earlier every year. Most of the big stores opened the very day after Christmas. A lot of people protested and said it was ruining family life. But secretly they were often relieved. Family life could often be overrated. Patrick Brennan said they should cash in on it, serve a comforting lunch to take the weight off the weary shoppers" feet.
"And what about the weary staff's feet?" Brenda asked. But she knew that he was right. People would love it. It would take the effort out of shopping if people knew that they could hand their parcels in to Quentins" big roomy cloakroom and sit down to a lunch "where cold turkey would make no appearance.
"We won't force anyone to work unless they want to. We wouldn't need the full team."
Patrick's brother Blouse and his wife Mary would help. There was no way they could open their organic vegetable shop that day. On the day after Christmas people wanted to buy digital cameras, copper saucepans or designer shoes. They did not want Blouse and Mary Brennan's parsnips, guaranteed free from pesticides.
They put a discreet little notice on each table in the restaurant advertising a Special Sale Lunch with a limited but interesting menu on 26 December. Early booking was essential. The menu was not, strictly speaking, limited, since they planned to serve Patrick's legendary steak and kidney pies, rack of lamb and a fiery Bouillabaisse.