“I don’t know what you mean.” My words came out breathlessly. Truthfully, I wasn’t even really listening to what he was saying, my heart was thundering so loudly.
“If you knew what was going on in the minds of half the men around you, you wouldn’t be so quick to prance around with this beautiful body.” His large hand dropped to my waist where the shirt had ridden up, making contact skin to skin. I quivered. His hand was like a brand, heating my flesh. His thumb rubbed a small circle by my belly button, and goose bumps fanned out over my stomach. I was completely under his spell.
“Dammit...” he muttered, and his forearm snaked around my waist, pulling me firmly against his steely body. His lips captured mine, and I swear I saw stars. Heat exploded. I whimpered, wanting more of his taste and feel, and I found my arms reaching around his neck of their own accord. Fire was building from the inside, and all I could do was run my hands through his thick, soft hair, grabbing it in handfuls so I could have him right where I wanted him.
He growled in response, shoving against me, pushing me back against the counter with his hips, grinding into me.
It was rough and wild. His strong lips slanted against mine, deepening the kiss. His teeth nipped my lower lip, and when I gasped with the pleasure and pain, his tongue swept my mouth, tasting me, rubbing velvet on velvet.
Yes!
I moaned as the fire spread through my breasts, my thighs, clear down to my toes. I couldn’t get enough. I went to taste him back, and when my tongue tangled with his, he sucked it in, a groan rumbling in his throat, which only excited me more. Moist heat rushed between my thighs in achy waves.
His hands dragged over my back, my hips and my ass, pulling me against his erection, and naturally, my hips and tummy cradled it and rubbed against it, loving the feel of it. Then his hand went over the back of my thigh, pulling it up to his waist and...I felt the sharp sting from my glass puncture wounds.
“Damn.” He pulled away, feeling my sudden cry of discomfort, though he kept his hands gripping my ass, which just felt right.
“It’s all right.” I rested my head on his chest and could hear his heart pumping wildly. Then reality interceded. I didn’t even know this guy, and here I was throwing myself at him. No wonder he thought I was asking for it.
“Stop it,” he murmured harshly.
“What?” I asked warily.
“Second-guessing everything.” He rested his forehead on mine. “We can’t do this now.”
“You’re right. We can’t.”
“You don’t have all the facts.”
“No, I don’t know you.”
“You don’t understand, but you will.” He took a deep breath and almost to himself repeated, “You will. Soon.”
“Yeah, well—”
“Take your shower. We can talk later.”
I was beginning to feel embarrassed at my wanton behavior! OMG, right? I don’t know his name, where he’s from, what he does for a living, but here I am swapping DNA samples with him because my brain decided to go AWOL from my body, and my body was totally turned on by his scrumptious masculinity.
Feeling self-conscious, I plastered a smile on my face and tried to think of something appropriate to say to get out of what was starting to be a weird situation, but then he tilted my head up by putting his fingers under my chin and gave me another hot, stirring kiss that left me senseless. Just as I was getting the feel for it again, he left. I forgot what my concerns were momentarily and stared after him, feeling bewildered by the events I’d experienced in so short a time.
He left a void with his absence, and for a moment, all I could do was stare at myself in the mirror and try to see what Ryder was seeing when he looked at me. With my hair pulled back in a ponytail, my bone structure was more pronounced, and I had to say that I did look hot, even though my looks come from my mother. It was a thought that brought along its own brand of depression.
I usually shelve thoughts of my mother immediately as a survival strategy.
My pale blue eyes, almond shaped, were set above a pert, small nose, and my high cheekbones curved above full lips that looked even fuller because they were swollen and pink from ravishment. It was a good look for me.
Life is so weird. You just never know what the next day is going to bring.
A smile brought the twinkle back to my eyes.
Ryder couldn’t resist me.
On that note, I made a quick detour to slide the front-door lock before going to the bathroom in my room and, whistling, taking a nice long shower. Regretfully, all of Ryder’s handiwork with the gauze had to be redone, and an impish voice in my head tried to convince me to go to his apartment and have a repeat performance, but the more sane voice called a halt to that idea.
This thing with Ryder was sudden and overwhelming. I couldn’t just go jumping off the deep end here when I didn’t know the guy. I needed time to think and consider. I needed to find my balance. I needed to remember that I was a self-sufficient woman who could stand on her own and didn’t need to rely on men to be sugar daddies, like my mother did.
But the apartment felt large and quiet as I rambled around the rooms in a large T-shirt. Turning on the TV, I grabbed a bagel, some peanut butter and an apple, making a meal out of the simple fare while watching a bad reality show. I must have fallen asleep, because I found myself in a recurring nightmare that I’ve had since “the incident,” when I was five years old.
I’m at the L.A. County Fair with my mother and so happy, because for once she is spending time with just me. The two of us. So often, she has to “go to work” or “meet someone,” and I get stuck with my grandmother in her house, with her smoke-stained air that makes my throat sore. But not today. Today, she says she wants to spend time with her little girl.
We set out at lunchtime and gorge ourselves on hot dogs, soda and ice cream. We go on the kiddy rides, play games and have someone take a picture of us with our camera, behind one of the silly cutouts. There are so many emotions: excitement mixed with love and happiness. There’s a loud din of white noise. People talking and laughing, the music from various rides intertwining and creating chaotic sound, and bright colors flashing here and there make up the background.
Then it suddenly turns to night. It’s dark. My mother leaves me alone. She tells me to wait for her on the wall while she goes into the wine-drinking place to say hi to a friend. I’m a good girl and wait. Strangers loom out of the dark with concern, asking if I’m okay. Am I lost? But I say no. I’m waiting. My mother told me to wait. I don’t know how long I’m waiting. No, I won’t go with them and get help. They’re strangers, and my mommy always told me to never talk to strangers.
Panic sets in. I question myself. Have I got her instructions right? She’s always telling me it’s my fault that I’m left behind so often, because I don’t listen. Didn’t my mother tell me to wait here? It seems like it’s been a long time. I’m getting cold. It’s dinnertime again, and I’m getting hungry. Where is she?
A glowing white flower winks at me, kind of like magic. It was just lying next to me on the wall, and I pick it up. It’s soft and pretty, like my mommy. I could go give it to her, and then we could go home and have some dinner. That seems like a good plan.
I go to the wine-drinking place and peek through the door, but I can’t see her, and a big man meanly tells me I can’t come in. Where is she? I look around and around and all I see are tall strangers. I move from one exhibit to another. I can’t find her. I start crying and running and the lights are getting too bright and the music from the rides is getting too loud and my shirt is suddenly snagged by a stranger’s hand that takes on the dimensions of a horrid claw, and I scream and scream.