“We are adrift!” Daniel insists to Dappa, who’s just vaulted smartly off the edge of the poop deck and nearly landed on Daniel’s shoulders.
“But naturally, Cap’n-we’re all in a panic, don’t you see?”
“You are being unduly harsh on yourself and your crew, Dappa-and why are you addressing me as Captain? And how can we be adrift, when we haven’t weighed anchor?”
“You’re wanted on the poop deck, Cap’n-that’s right, just step forward-”
“Let me fetch my hat.”
“None of it, Cap’n, we want every pirate in New England-for they’re all out there, at the moment-to see your white hair shining in the sun, your bald pate, pale and pink, like that of a Cap’n who ain’t been abovedecks in years-this way, mind the wheel, sir-that’s right-could you dodder just a bit more? Squint into the unaccustomed sunlight-well played, Cap’n!”
“May the Good Lord save us, Mr. Dappa, we’ve lost our anchors! Some madman has cut the anchor cables!”
“I told you we were in a panic-steady up the stairs, there, Cap’n!”
“Let go my arm! I’m perfectly capable of-”
“Happy to be of service, Cap’n-as is that lopsided Dutchman at the top o’ the stairs-”
“Captain van Hoek! Why are you dressed as an ordinary seaman!? And what has become of our anchors!?”
“Dead weight,” van Hoek says, and then goes on to mutter something in Dutch.
“He said, you are showing just the sort of impotent choler that we need. Here, take a spyglass! I’ve an idea-why don’t you peer into the wrong end of it first-then look befuddled, and angry, as if some subordinate had stupidly reversed the lenses.”
“I’ll have you know, Mr. Dappa, that at one time I knew as much of opticks as any man alive, save one-possibly two, if you count Spinoza-but he was only a practical lens-grinder, and generally more concerned with atheistical ruminations-”
“Do it!” grunts the one-armed Dutchman. He is still the captain, so Daniel steps to the railing of the poop deck, raises the spyglass, and peers through the objective lens. He can actually hear pirates on distant whaleboats laughing at him. Van Hoek plucks the glass from Daniel, spins it around on the knuckles of his only hand, and thrusts it at him. Daniel accepts it and tries to hold it steady on an approaching whaler. But the forward end of that boat is fogged in a bank of smoke, rapidly dispersing in the freshening breeze. For the last few minutes, Minerva ’s sails have been inflating, frequently with brisk snapping noises, almost like gunshots-but-
“Damn me,” he says, “they fired on us!” He can see, now, the swivel-gun mounted in the whaleboat’s prow, an unsavory-looking fellow feeding a neatly bound cluster of lead balls into its small muzzle.
“Just a shot across the bow,” Dappa says. “That panicky look on your face-the gesticulating-perfect!”
“The number of boats is incredible -are these all pirating together?”
“Plenty of time for explanations later-now’s the moment to look stricken-perhaps get wobbly in the knees and clutch your chest like an apoplectic-we’ll assist you to your cabin on the upperdeck.”
“But my cabin, as you know, is on the quarter-deck…”
“Today only, you’re being given a complimentary upgrade-Cap’n. Come on, you’ve been in the sun too long-best retire and break open a bottle of rum.”
“DON’T BE MISLED BY THESEexchanges of cannon-fire,” Dappa reassures him, thrusting his woolly and somewhat grizzled head into the Captain’s cabin. “If this were a true fight, sloops and whaleboats’d be simply exploding all round us.”
“Well, if it’s not a fight, what would you call it when men on ships shoot balls of lead at each other?”
“A game-a dance. A theatrickal performance. Speaking of which-have you practiced your role recently?”
“Didn’t seem safe, when grapeshot was flying-but-as it’s only an entertainment- well…” Daniel gets up from his squatting position underneath the Captain’s chart-table and sidles over toward the windows, moving in a sort of Zeno’s Paradox mode-each step only half as long as the previous. Van Hoek’s cabin is as broad as the entire stern of the ship-two men could play at shuttlecocks in here. The entire aft bulkhead is one gently curved window commanding (now that Daniel’s in position to see through it) a view of Plymouth Bay: wee cabins and wigwams on the hills, and, on the waves, numerous scuttling boats all flocked with gunpowder-smoke, occasionally thrusting truncated bolts of yellow fire in their general direction. “The critical reaction seems hostile,” Daniel observes. Off to his left, a small pane gets smashed out of its frame by what he takes to have been a musket-ball.
“Excellent cringing! The way you raise your hands as if to clap them over your ears, then arrest them in midair, as if already seized in rigor mortis -thank God you were delivered into our hands.”
“I am meant to believe that all of these goings-on are nothing more than an elaborate manipulation of the pirates’ mental state?”
“No need to be haughty- theydo it to us, too. Half of the cannon on those boats are carved out of logs, painted to look real.”
A large meteor-like something blows the head door off its hinges and buries itself in an oaken knee-brace, knocking it askew and bending the entire cabin slightly out of shape-wreaking some sort of parallelogram effect on Daniel’s Frame o’ Reference, so it appears that Dappa’s now standing up at an angle-or perhaps the ship’s beginning to heel over. “Some of the cannon are, of course, real,” Dappa admits before Daniel can score any points there.
“If we are playing with the pirates’ minds, what is the advantage in making the ship’s captain out as a senile poltroon-which, if I may read ‘tween the lines, would appear to be my role? Why not fling open every gunport, run out every cannon, make the hills ring with broadsides, set van Hoek up on the poop waving his hook in the air?”
“We’ll get round to all that later, in all likelihood. For now we must pursue a multilayered bluffing strategy.”
“Why?”
“Because we have more than one group of pirates to contend with.”
“What!?”
“This is why we captured and questioned-”
“ Somewould say tortured-”
“-several pirates before dawn. There are simply too many pirates in this Bay to make sense. Some of them would appear to be mutually hostile. Indeed, we’ve learned that the traditional, honest, hardworking Plymouth Bay pirates-the ones in the small boats-get over, Cap’n, I say! Two paces over to larboard, if you please!”
Dappa’s adverting on something outside the window. Daniel turns round to see a taut manila line dangling vertically just outside-not an unusual sight in and of itself, but it wasn’t there a few seconds ago. The stretched line shudders, tattooing a beat on the window-pane. A pair of blistered hands appears, then a broad-brimmed hat, then a head with a dagger clenched in its teeth. Then behind Daniel a tremendous FOOM while something unsightly happens to the climber’s face-clearly visible through a suddenly absent pane. A gout of smoke roils and rebounds against the panes that are still there, and by the time it’s cleared away the pirate is gone. Dappa’s in the middle of the cabin holding a hot smoky shooting-iron.