“Almost there,” she repeated to herself as she shouldered past commuters shuffling out of Nyugati Station as if it was any normal day. Except, it was not a normal day. A glitch in the radio broadcasting system tore through Budapest, and now static plagued every single channel, two days ahead of schedule.
Something must have happened. Tomasz probably left the jamming equipment on by accident. Dora had read Ferenc’s most recent letter. Today or early tomorrow, Ferenc would try his luck at escape, hopefully with Eszter in tow. If not, she would be executed.
Dora pleaded with her body to deliver her to the Radio Budapest offices as soon as it could. The streets jabbed at Dora in sharp angles, siphoning her into different directions, exhausting her legs, and her lungs. As cars puttered by her, Dora heard a ludicrous course of static rising up around her, taunting her.
When she finally reached the office, she realized the futility in her rushing. Alone at the station, without Tomasz, she couldn’t stop the jamming. As she messed with the switches, pressed power buttons on and off, and tried, even, to put the dreaded classical music on the airwaves, the seconds bore forward, toying with Dora’s patience. After snapping all the plugs out of their sockets and watching the lights on the switchboard extinguish, the jamming barreled on.
“Dora?” a weary voice floated from behind her.
“Tomasz! Thank God.”
“What are you doing here? Didn’t expect to see you today….”
Dora stood up and scratched her back. She raised her breasts as she did so, hoping that might help her win some ground with Tomasz. “I noticed the jamming got off schedule. I know that we’re supposed to be very strict about following it.”
Tomasz looked past Dora, failing to fall for her ploy. “I could have fixed it on my own.”
“I wanted to be here in case you needed help.”
Tomasz scanned the switchboard, its buttons in disarray. “I have never seen someone so eager to help.”
Dora swallowed the lump growing in her throat. She wanted to escape to a dark corner and be completely alone, free from the discomfort of breaking rules or persuading others to do so. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was trying to make a better life for her and her family, so that there would no longer be any darkness to hide in.
“Of course, if you don’t want to stop the jamming I could go get my dad …,” Dora said.
“No, no let’s not do that,” Tomasz frowned. “Here, take a seat.”
“Thank you,” she said, relieved she wouldn’t have to act on her bluff.
She tried to make small talk with Tomasz as he fiddled with the equipment, but the more she said, the more stressed he seemed. She finally stopped talking altogether, only to hear Tomasz cursing below the stubborn static.
“Do you think you’ll be able to fix it?” Dora asked as the minutes wore on.
“I’m not sure.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Well,” Tomasz said. “Our equipment isn’t causing the jamming. It’s coming from somewhere else….”
“But where?”
“I think you can guess.”
“My dad,” Dora sighed. Surely Ivan didn’t know about Ferenc’s plan. He had to be orchestrating this jamming for some other unknown reason. She needed to talk to him. The room suddenly became very warm. Dora lost her balance as she tried to stand up.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I have to go.”
“Why don’t you stay here a little longer?”
“No,” she said, clearing her throat. “I mean, I really need to do my job and see that we’re on track.”
Dora skirted around Tomasz, who seemed to be trying to block her path to the door.
“We can figure this out together.”
“It’s okay, thank you!”
“Wait!” Tomasz caught up to Dora, grabbing her arm. The look in his eyes—as if Dora’s next step would somehow devastate him—made her stop.
“I know what you’re doing,” Tomasz whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“I overheard a conversation between you and Ferenc.”
“What?” Dora had to sit back down. She thought she might get caught one day, but not by Tomasz. She wondered if Ivan had been having Tomasz spy on her. She felt trapped, and because of that, incredibly anxious. Her knees started twitching as she wracked her brain for some sort of excuse to use. “I don’t know a Ferenc.”
“It’s okay, Dora. He’s my friend. I saw you guys talking the other day. I was going to come say hi, but I stopped when I heard him calling you Anika. I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then, later on, when I saw him again, he told me about his plans.”
“There are no plans.”
“Dora, I’ve known him since we were boys. He wouldn’t lie to me. I know about Eszter, and that she’s your mom.”
Dora couldn’t deny it any longer. Tomasz was smarter than she thought. “Did you tell anyone? Did you tell him?”
“No, of course not.” Tomasz put his hands on Dora’s shoulders, peering straight into her eyes. “If you can get me into the room where the master equipment is, I can disable it.”
“You can?”
“Yes.”
“But why would you want to help me?”
“It’s one little thing I can do to fight this crap.” Tomasz kicked the switchboard, rattling the knobs and scuffing the base. “And Ferenc deserves to get out of here.”
Dora hugged him. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll be back.”
In the crowded locker room, Dora slipped out of her clothes and wriggled into a loaned bathing suit, two sizes too small for her. The smell of sulfur flooded her senses, so much so she could taste it in the back of her throat. Two women, about her mom’s age, were complaining about the size of the towels, so small they could only dry sections of their hair at a time.
A swell of dizziness overcame Dora, her body struggling to calibrate to the speed of her new, subversive life. She leaned against a closed locker, her back cooled by the metal supporting her. She counted to three and tried to imagine swimming in Lake Balaton on a warm day.
She had rushed to the Széchenyi baths, where she predicted she would find Ivan, after seeing an appointment on his calendar marked “Boldiszar.” He used to go to the baths with Boldiszar every week, and Dora assumed Ivan, a creature of habit, had kept the timeslot. Maybe this was his small way of honoring Boldiszar, though Dora couldn’t decide how she felt about that. After rushing to the baths, Dora realized she had no idea how she would approach her dad, let alone ask him to potentially break the law, his law, for her. Yet if she somehow figured out how to unjam the radio furtively, what would Ivan do if he suspected Dora was up to something? Would he make someone follow her? Would he assign her to a job that required constant supervision? Would he mandate she work by his side every second?
She managed to reel in her thoughts as she walked out of the locker room, her bathing suit carving valleys into the space above her hips. She found Ivan sitting in one of the smaller baths, his eyes closed, arms spread on the ledge, and his head facing the high ceiling.
“Dad, hi….” Dora slipped into the warm water next to Ivan.
“Dora? What are you doing here?” Dora noted a slight degree of fear in his voice, as if she caught him doing something wrong.
“I wanted to come relax, things have been really stressful.”
“I never thought you would ever join me here. It was always….”
“Boldiszar. I know.” Peering through the steam passing before her eyes, Dora imagined Boldiszar lounging on the side of the bath, nodding solemnly as Ivan lectured him on the importance of pursuing a career in government. “So, how are you?”
“Same as always. Tonight, I’ll be speaking at the rally.”