Sydney Weider spat in her direction. The gob landed on the sidewalk. The woman said, “You’re disgusting. As always.”
Before Weider could respond, Milo pressed down on her head, managed to get her into the car, and slammed the door. His face was flushed.
“What’d she finally do?” the woman repeated. “You people said there was nothing you could- ”
“Can’t discuss that, ma’am. Now if you’d please- ”
Thump thump thump as Weider kicked the window.
The ponytailed woman said, “See? She’s insane. I’ve got a list for you. Give me your fax number.”
“She’s been that big of a problem?” I said.
“Everyone will rejoice when she’s gone. We’ll have a frickin’ block party. A child touches her lawn, she steps out and screams at the top of her lungs. Last month, she threw a kitchen knife at Poppy and Poppy’s not one of those aggressive shar-peis, he’s sweet as can be, ask anyone, they’ll tell you. She runs up and down the street, talks like a banshee- she’s insane, believe me, totally insane. I’m sure everyone on the block will be happy to give you a report or a deposition or whatever.”
Milo said, “Appreciate it, ma’am.”
“Good riddance,” said the woman, glaring through the window. Sydney Weider lay on her back, feet up. She began kicking the window again. Barefoot, but hard enough to make the glass shudder.
The woman said, “You should hog-tie her. Like on Cops.”
As we drove away, other doors opened but no one emerged.
Sydney Weider screamed wordlessly and resumed kicking the window. Milo stopped the car, parked, retrieved a set of plastic ties from the trunk, and defended himself against Weider’s gnashing jaws and vicious feet as he fought to bind her ankles. I got out and held Weider’s heels. Yet another divergence from accepted psychological practice.
Finally, he managed to flip her on her stomach, pull the ties snug. She writhed and foamed at the mouth and butted her head against the door as the car pulled away. Potty-mouth tirade; all those years in law school spent parsing and composing elegant phrases wasted.
I felt sorry for her.
When Milo reached Sunset, she turned silent. Panting, then snuffling, filled the car. I glanced back. Still flat on her belly. Eyes closed, inert.
I figured he’d take her to the jail at the Westside station, but he drove east through the Palisades and turned in to Will Rogers State Park.
A little-girl voice from the back said, “I used to ride horses here.”
“Good for you,” said Milo.
Moments later: “What did I do to make you so angry?”
“How about assaulting an officer?”
“Oh…,” she said. “I’m sorry I really am I don’t know what happened I just you scared me I thought you were sent by my husband to torment me one of those process servers he won’t let go one Halloween he sent a process server dressed up as a goblin and I opened the door for trick or treat and this goblin threw court papers at me and when I threw them back he grabbed me made contact with my arm that was real assault believe me much worse than what I did I’m an attorney I know what assault is when I see it listen I really didn’t mean to hit you I was defending myself you really scared me.”
No pause for breath. The neighbor had talked about Weider’s racing up and down the block. I remembered her as a fast talker and Marty Boestling had called her manic.
The only marathon was in her head.
“Really,” she said. “I know now what I did I see it clearly and I’m so so so so sorry.”
We parked in the nearly empty lot that faced the polo fields.
“No horses anymore everything goes to shit in this city please,” said Sydney Weider. “Just take off these things I hate to be restrained I really hate it.”
Milo switched off the engine.
“Please please I promise to behave appropriately.”
“Why should I trust you, Sydney?”
“Because I’m an honest person I know I acted irrationally but I already explained that to you it’s my ex he never stops he won’t give up making my life a living hell.”
“How long’s he been doing that?” I said.
“At least the foot thingies please? They hurt they’re bending my legs in a not-good way I’m constricted it’s hard to breathe.”
Milo got out and undid the plastic ties, sat her up, careful to maintain distance from her teeth.
Weider smiled and flipped her hair and looked pretty for a pathetic second. “Thank you thank you you’re a doll thanks so much now how about the cuffs too?”
Milo returned to the front seat. “So how long’s your ex been tormenting you?”
“Always but what I’m talking about is since the divorce seven years seven long years of nonstop torture that’s after he robbed me blind took everything my father left me my father was a film producer one of the top guys in Hollywood and that bastard knew where everything was kept he looted me looted me like something from the Watts riot we used to have a house cars Angelo Donghia furniture Sarouk rugs you name it we had a great life on the surface- ”
“How come Mr. Boestling’s so angry?”
“What do you think he’s a Jew,” said Weider. “Vengeful eye for an eye they don’t let go until you’re sucked dry.”
“What’s he want revenge for?”
“For my being superior for my being… it’s complicated he’ll never be happy he’s consumed. About what? About making me pay and pay and pay for those people it’s all about money he libels me tells everyone I’m crazy manic-depressive just because my energy’s superior to his he could never- ”
She stopped abruptly. “You. The psychologist. You can tell I’m fine.”
Her eyes were bright with madness.
I said, “Sure.”
Milo’s eyelids vibrated. The mark Weider had left on his cheek had started to fade.
She smiled again. “There you go you know about that kind of thing you tell this very kind police individual I’m an attorney a wife a mother did it all raised two beautiful boys you should see the deal Microsoft offered them both of them but they didn’t take it they have their own software to develop why should someone else get rich on their accomplishments?”
I said, “Despite all that Marty Boestling’s being vengeful.”
“Mindlessly vengeful he’s a nothing- ”
“Maybe,” Milo broke in, “finding you with Drew Daney wasn’t a real fun experience for him.”
Weider’s mouth hung open. She sank back down. “You are blaming me for his inadequacies do you think if he could… wait you talked to him are you really police are you from him a process ser- ”
“No!” Milo bellowed. “I’m an LAPD lieutenant who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your marriage or your sex life. I am interested in talking about Drew Daney.”
Weider twitched, rolled her shoulder, looked out at the polo field. “What about him?”
“What kind of guy is he?”
“What kind of guy is he scum pond scum the black stuff under pond scum- ”
“You two have a lover’s quarrel?” said Milo.
“Ha. Hahahahaha. There was no lover no love no lovemaking this was straight you know what he was nothing to me none of them were.”
“Who?”
“Don’t pretend Marty didn’t tell you he told you did he also tell you he got it started he was the one who liked watching me with other guys it only became a problem when I started to act independently meaning when he wasn’t watching did he tell you that did he?”
“Like I said, Sydney, your sex life doesn’t inter- ”
“Right right you want to talk about Daney all Daney was to me was a male organ and not a big one at that you want to know about him I’ll tell you he’s a loser and a liar thought he was so smart thought he could get me to play his game.”