“What game was that?”
“You tell me you’re the LAPD lieutenant why would anyone want to do anything so stupid you tell me that?”
“What was stupid?”
“Sticking a pin in the condom I always used condoms always bought them myself because when men think with the little head they’re retarded and no way was I going to get messed up that way no way and I don’t like the pill it’s supposed to be good for your skin but it messed up mine gave me adult-onset acne and my mother died of cancer so who needs that so it was always rubbers.” Slow spreading smile. “With tickly things.”
“How’d you know Daney poked holes in one?”
“Found him that’s how he sneaked off into the bathroom,” she said, “he thought I was dressing up in the tacky things he bought over at Trashy Lingerie costumes all that stupid cliché stuff like I was going to dress up for him ha no way so I was already out of my bathroom he was in Marty’s bathroom and heard him messing around in there and walked in on him said what the hell do you think you’re doing he made up some lame story about testing out a sample to see if it was strong to be extra careful I saw that I bitch-slapped him- ”
She stopped.
Milo said, “He got you mad.”
“Wouldn’t you be mad if there was someone sneaking around on you doing that?” Weider laughed. “Not that he was getting off the hook I opened a new one made sure it was fine and had him put it on in front of me made jokes about maybe I should’ve gotten a size small believe me that slowed things down fine with me I set the tone he never had me I had him.”
“Did that end the relationship?” said Milo.
“What relationship he was a tool what ended it was Marty being a loser screwing up a pitch meeting and coming home early and finding us not that I cared about Marty it was the way he reacted Daney just scurrying off with his you know what tucked between his legs.” She flipped her hair. “My motto no wimps no losers no complications.”
“How’d Daney react to your breaking it off?”
“Called me kept calling me finally he gave up.”
I said, “Why do you think he punctured the condom?”
“You tell me you’re the psychologist,” said Weider.
“Could he have wanted to get you pregnant?”
“No because he didn’t like kids.”
“He told you that?”
“Sure more than once he said his wife wanted them she couldn’t have them he said no way he didn’t want the hassle.”
“He confided in you.”
“He talked about everything I couldn’t get him to shut up what’d he do anyway?”
“You never asked him to explain why he’d tried to puncture the condom?”
“I told you he gave me that stupid story and I hit him upside the head I didn’t care what his story was the main thing was do things my way.” Another hair flip. “I don’t think it was pregnancy per se I think it was sperm.”
“Pardon?”
“S-P-E-R-M he thought his was the elixir of the gods he’d go off on these long speeches about his you-know-what and how it was the magic wand of the future you could create cities countries continents with a teaspoon he’d get like that after he had his glorious three minutes all he wanted to do afterward was raid my refrigerator and blab.”
“Magic sperm,” said Milo.
“He was really into it really weird obsessive what’s that other word- fixated that’s a psychological term right that’s what you guys call it fixated.”
I nodded.
Milo said, “Daney had a sperm fixation.”
“Want to know what I think about Daney I think he was a fixation sperm egomaniac everything about him was so so important he even started thinking he was an attorney thought he could tell me how to run my case believe me that didn’t last long I put him in his place.”
I said, “The Malley case?”
“He watched too many movies had all these ideas these bad TV movie ideas like cross-examine the cops until they wore themselves out or shift the blame to the kid’s father so there’d be reasonable doubt I said shutup this isn’t Perry Mason the little bastards were caught with the body they admitted they did it I’ll get the best deal for them but they’re going away and that’s what happened.”
“Daney wanted to blame Barnett Malley.”
“He said I should dig into Malley’s background and find out if Malley and the mother were getting along and if there was some sort of conflict I could suggest Malley hated the wife and the kid hired those two little bastards to kill the kid I said you’re insane that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard of he said not if Troy backs it up I could talk to Troy Troy trusts me Troy would say anything I tell him to because we have rapport- ”
“Daney knew Troy that well?”
“He knew him from working as a youth worker that’s a laugh a youth leader who doesn’t like kids he kept trying to convince me with his stupid story finally I threatened to stop sleeping with him told him what you’re asking me to do is suborn perjury you idiot the facts are clear the best we can hope for is extenuating circumstances rough childhood abuse neglect all that if you can find me some abuse some real abuse I’ll go to the damned judge with that but otherwise stay out of it- can you take off these cuffs?”
Milo said, “Going to behave?”
“Haven’t I?”
“You haven’t had much choice, Sydney.”
“Even without cuffs what’s my choice you’re three times my size in your arms I’m a little girl.”
Hair flip.
Milo said, “One screwup and they go back on.”
“Fine I get it you’re the boss the man you call the shots.”
He made another trip to the backseat. Sydney Weider said, “Ahh it’s like Joni Mitchell said you don’t know what you got till it’s gone so why all these questions about Daney he finally do something real stupid?”
Milo walked around the car, got in back, and sat next to her. “As opposed to small-time stupid?”
“Exactly he was always small-time stupid.”
“How exactly did you meet him?”
“Another case,” she said. “Another little psychopath Daney doing his youth work bullshit he calls offers to help any way he can I figured why not maybe he could put a letter in the kid’s file for sentencing.”
“Same thing he did for Troy,” I said.
“That’s the way it is at the P.D. ninety-five percent of what we did was process guilty people and angle for the best deal- ”
“Remember the name of the other little psychopath?”
“Some Latin junkie he shot some other junkies downtown I got it pled down to manslaughter Nestor something… Almodovar that’s it Nestor Almodovar.”
Milo didn’t correct her. “Daney wrote a letter for Nestor.”
“Your basic character reference Nestor was a good kid rough childhood extenuating circumstances blah blah blah.”
“And Daney just happened to be working on another of your cases?”
“No no no,” said Weider, “Daney called me asked me to defend Troy at first I didn’t want to do it because believe me I was putting in the hours who needed the hassle but he kept working on me telling me I was the smartest D.P.D. in the office which happened to be true then I figured why not it could be interesting.”
“How so?” I said.
“Interesting- ” Weider repeated. Then she stared at me, went silent, twisted her mouth nonstop, as if compensating for the lack of sound.
Milo said, “Interesting as in high-profile. As in getting your name in the paper.”
Weider turned toward him. “Why shouldn’t I get some of the good ones you put in the hours why not get a little coverage?”
“And a movie deal,” said Milo.
Weider did the open-shut thing with her mouth again. More panting, more lip acrobatics. She snapped her head away from Milo and stared out the window. “That was after the case resolved nothing illegal about that it happens all the time.”