And Robert had nodded and not complained. Every day with this dead weight on his shoulder was a small penance, a reminder of how close his foolishness had come to destroying lives.
Miri was oblivious of all that. In fact, she had dismissed "prospective medicine" as stupidity. Miri believed in making her own medical solutions. "So there are these three teams, Robert. One of them has grown a complete monkey's paw, another is into whole-limb prosthesis, but very lightweight, and the third has some improvements in neurocoding. I bet your Comms-R-Us friends would put you up as a fast-track guinea pig. What do you think?"
Robert touched the plastic shell that held the remains of his arm. "Ah, I think a deal involving a monkey's paw is too risky for me."
"No, no, you wouldn't have a monkey's paw. The monkey's paw was just " Then she got a Googling look. "Robert! I'm not talking about some old story. I'm trying to help you. I want to more than ever. I owe you."
Yeah, tonight was definitely the night to set her straight. "You don't owe me."
"Hey, I can't remember it, but Bob told me what he saw. You put your arm in the way of molten rock. You held it there." Her face twisted with imagined pain. "You saved me, Robert."
"I saved you, kiddo. Yes. But I created the problem. I played ball with something evil." Or something very strange.
"You were desperate. I knew that. I just didn't know how deep things would get. So we both made a mess."
It really was time to get down on his knees and beg forgiveness. But first let her know why this was beyond forgiveness. The words were hard to say: "Miri, you made a mess trying to fix things. But I I was the guy who set up your mother for what practically killed her." There. It was said.
Miri sat very still. After a moment, her gaze fell. She said softly, "I know."
Now they both were very still. "Bob told you?"
"No. Alice did." She looked up. "And she told me they still can't figure out how what you did could have brought her down. It's okay, Robert."
Then abruptly, she was crying. And Robert did get on his knees. His granddaughter threw her arms around his neck. She was in full bawl now, her body shaking. She pounded his back with her fists.
"I'm so sorry, Miri. I "
Miri's wail got even louder, but she stopped beating on him. After half a minute, her weeping trailed off into choking sobs, and then silence. But she still held on to him. Her words were halting and muffled. "I just found out that Alice is Alice is back in Training ."
Oh.
"She's not even recovered!" Miri was sobbing again.
"What does your father say?"
"Bob is out of touch tonight."
"Out of touch?" In this day and age?
Miri pushed him back. She started to wipe her face on her sleeve, then grabbed from the box of tissues he set beside her. "Really out of touch. Tactical blackout. D-Don't you follow the news, Robert?"
"um."
"Read between the lines. Bob is off somewhere making places and things glow in the dark." She wiped energetically at her face, and her voice returned to something like its usual tones. "Okay, maybe not literally. Bob talks that way when he has to do things he really doesn't want to do. But I watch the rumor mills and I watch Bob and Alice. Between the three I'm a pretty good guesser. Sometimes Bob is out of touch, and I read about something wonderful or something terrible happening in another country. Sometimes Alice goes into Training, and I know that somebody needs help or else very bad things may happen. Right now Bob is away and Alice is back in Training." She hid behind her hands for a moment, then resumed wiping her face. "My g-guess is that the top rumors are right. Something awful happened at the Library Riot, worse than the GenGen takeover. Now all the superpowers are running scared. They think someone has figured how to crack their security. A-Alice almost admitted that tonight. That was her excuse !"
Robert sat down again, but on the edge of his chair. His great confession had vanished into the abyss. "You should talk to Bob when he gets back."
"I will. And he'll argue with her. You've heard that yourself. But in the end he can't stop her."
"This time, maybe he can go over her head, or get the doctors to back him up."
Miri hesitated, seemed to relax a fraction. "Yes. This time is different I-I'm glad we can talk, Robert."
"Any time, kiddo."
But then she was quiet.
Finally, Robert said, "Are you conspiring, or just Googling?"
Miri shook her head. "N-Neither. I tried to call someone but they're not answering."
Ah ! "You know, Miri, Juan is in Puebla visiting his great-grandfather. He may not be wearing all the time."
"Juan? I wouldn't call him. He's not very bright, and when the crunch came in Pilchner Hall, he was useless."
"You can't know that!"
"I know I was down in the tunnels by myself."
"Miri, I've talked to Juan almost every day since I started at Fairmont. He wouldn't let you down. Think back to the times you do remember. You two must have conspired a lot to keep track of me. I'll bet he played fair. He could be your good friend, another person you could talk to."
For once, Miri's chin came down. "You know I can't talk to him about these things. I couldn't talk to you, except you already know."
"That's true. There are things you can't tell him. But I think he deserves better from you."
Miri's eyes flicked up to meet his, but she didn't speak.
"Remember how I told you, you remind me of your great-aunt Cara?"
Miri nodded.
"You were happy to learn that. But I think you know how I treated Cara. It was like the Ezra Pound Incident, over and over again, for years. I never had a chance to make up for that; she died when she was not much older than Alice is now."
Tears were back in Miri's eyes, but she held the tissues tight on her lap. "I went through my whole life like that, Miri. I married a wonderful lady who loved me very much. Lena put up with more than I ever dumped on Cara, and for years longer. Even after I drove her away, you know how she helped me at Rainbows End. And now she is dead, too." Robert looked down, and for a moment all he could think of was lost opportunities. Where was I? Oh : "So I think you owe Juan. Dumping on him isn't in the same league as my screwups. But you still have a chance to set things right."
He looked at Miri. Her shoulders were hunched. She was shredding the tissues she held in her hands. "Just think about it, okay, Miri? I didn't mean to get carried away."
Finally, she spoke: "Have you ever broken a solemn promise, Robert?"
Where did that come from ? But before he could get his mouth in gear, Miri continued:
"Well, I just did!" And with that, she grabbed the box of tissues and ran from the room.
"Miri!" By the time he got into the hall, Miri had disappeared into her room.
Robert dithered for a moment. He could go down and pound on her door. Or maybe he should message her.
He stepped back into his room, turned and saw the golden light on the table, right beside where Miri had been sitting. It was an enum, granting some kind of limited message capability. But he already had that and more for Miri. He opened the golden enum and looked inside.