“Really? Then talk to her.” James shook his head. “I realize that no amount of time can ever totally erase the hurt of losing a loved one. But life goes on. Your brothers have found love. So has your mother. And maybe it’s time you did too. Maybe that would make this easier to handle.”
“What? That I go out and get laid so it’ll be okay for you to bang my mother?” Oh hell. That anger. That’s what he’d been worried about losing—his temper.
James blinked at him in shock. But Barbara’s voice was loud and clear when she answered from the doorway, “I cannot believe you’d say that to James.”
He groaned. Typical. His brothers cursed a blue streak, but she only ever heard Dylan swearing. The woman always managed to catch him with his foot in his mouth. But this time, she’d really nailed him. “Oh—hello, Mom.”
She crossed the room to stand next to James, her eyes frigid. “Do you really think all James and I have between us is sex?”
He inwardly cringed. He’d never admit it to his brothers, because he was a therapist after all, but hearing his mother mention s-e-x with James in the room made him nauseous. “I couldn’t say.” He sounded stiff, even to his own ears.
“James and I are in love. I’m sorry if that bothers you to hear.” She had tears in her eyes but never let a drop fall. “It’s been nearly eleven years without your father in my life. And I’ve missed him every single day.”
“Mom, I know.” God, if she cried, he’d lose it. “I want you to be happy.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” she said softly. “I’ve dated men since your father died. But no one stuck. James waited, and he supported me in ways I wasn’t aware of then.” She turned to smile at him. “Ways I’m only beginning to understand now. We love each other.” She turned back to Dylan. “I need to know. Do you accept us being together or not? It won’t make a difference to how I feel about him, but it will affect how you and I deal with one another. Son, I love you, but I won’t let you run my life.”
So, she’d choose her new lover over her son. Dylan clenched his jaw, trying to ignore the pain. He’d known this day would come, when his mother would no longer need him and break away. And though it had been long in coming, and he thought he’d reached the age where he could put aside petty needs of his own and support her wholeheartedly, he still couldn’t handle his feelings on the matter.
So he lied. “I only want what’s best for you, Mom. Of course, this feels sudden to me, and it’s hard to accept only because it feels so new. But I’m happy for you and James.” He included them both in the untruth. “It’s your life, after all. I’m a grown man. I can handle you being married to someone else. Dad passed years ago. He’d want you to be happy.” They were all the right words he should have said when she had first admitted her relationship with James. He wanted to mean it, every word, but a small part of himself—the hurt little boy deep inside—felt as if she’d chosen James over him.
It made little sense. The therapist inside him knew that. Yet he still couldn’t come to grips with his mother moving on and leaving him behind. Fuck. Gage had done it. Even his twin had started to pull away, spending all his time with Sydney and not Dylan. The family rarely had Saturday breakfasts at their mother’s anymore, and if they did, his brothers’ women inevitably showed. Dylan loved them, but things were so different now.
Barbara’s smile nearly undid him. “Oh, honey. I knew you just needed time to adapt. You’re not the best when it comes to dealing with change.”
An understatement, which made it so odd that he’d handled being with Harper and Freddy with ease.
She continued, “I’m so glad you said that. You don’t know how important it is that we have your approval.”
He shrugged and forced himself to sound nonchalant. “You’re a grown woman. Of course you should date whomever you see fit.”
James frowned, but Barbara smiled. “We’re talking about more than dating. Marriage, Dylan. I’ve wasted so many years already.”
“No, Barb. Not wasted. You had to give it time.” James stood and put an arm around her shoulder. He kissed her on the cheek, then turned to Dylan. “We haven’t told the others yet. We wanted you to be the first to know.”
“Marriage?” Dylan repeated like a parrot. James had mentioned it before, but his mother had confirmed it. The hurt he was experiencing became a numbness in his heart.
“Yes.” His mother nodded. “James and I want to travel, to do and see all the things we’ve wanted but never made the time to experience. If there’s anything I’ve taught you, Dylan, it’s to make the most of what you have, because you never know when it might be gone.”
Marriage. He cleared his throat. “I’m happy for you then. Congratulations.” He rounded the desk to hug his mother and shake James’s hand, not liking the man’s intense scrutiny.
He didn’t let go of the handshake until James did.
When James pulled back, he released a weary sigh. “I was worried, I’ll admit. I know how close you and your mother are. But our marriage won’t change that, Dylan.” James slapped him on the back. “I mean, hell. We’ve already been together for years at the office. Just not as a couple. Right, Barb?”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Right. Now, Dylan, I don’t want you avoiding us anymore. We’ll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast. Maybe you’ll bring a date?” she prodded.
“Maybe,” he said absently, trying to make sense of this new reality.
“Oh good.” Barbara leaned forward to buss his cheek. “Derrick said he’s going to ask Sydney to marry him on Christmas Eve. I think he’s planning a June wedding. And with Gage’s wedding in another two months, James and I need to figure out when to plan our own nuptials. We don’t want to get in the way of the boys.”
“Derrick too, huh?” Derrick, Gage, his mother. All of them. Gone.
“We’d like you to be involved,” Barbara said. “James was wondering if—”
James interrupted, “We’ve hit you with a lot today. And you have a patient coming soon. We’ll talk more later. Breakfast tomorrow, right, Dylan?”
“Right. Sure.” Dylan’s jaw hurt from so much smiling. “I’ll see you two lovebirds then.”
Barbara laughed. “That’s my boy.”
James tugged her by the hand, waved, and left with her, shutting the door behind them.
Dylan sank into his chair. He wished to hell he could talk to his mother about his strange feelings. Or better yet, confer with James. But what he might have done in the past didn’t make sense now, in this new Barbara-James stage of his life. His brothers wouldn’t understand his resentments. Hell, he wasn’t sure why he had them.
Derrick thought Dylan was being an ass, but he hadn’t yet mentioned that to Gage. If he had, the little snot would have been by to bug the crap out of him. Since Gage and Hailey were so lovey-dovey all the time, the pair liked to think of themselves as amateur cupids. Hell, they’d even talked about setting up Hailey’s single friends.
He rubbed his temples and wondered what Freddy might say about all this. Women normally had better intuition and sense when it came to relationships. Then again, Harper had a pretty tight relationship with his own family. Maybe he could help Dylan resolve his issues about his mother.
It was enough to make a grown therapist want to lie down on his own couch.
While Harper and Freddy waited for Dylan to arrive, they sat together, talking in the dungeon Freddy had specifically chosen for their play tonight.