Barbara waited outside the back door with her grocery bag in one hand, holding her breath. She’d made it a habit to eavesdrop on the boys because it was generally the only way she learned the truth about half the things she wished she’d never known about. Some things she acted on, and she got a kick out of surprising Dylan when he least expected it. Her oldest had a potty mouth on him, one he rarely shared with her.
Even though he’d said he was happy for her and James, neither she nor James had really believed it. But Dylan was stubborn. He wouldn’t talk to her and apparently hadn’t shared with his brothers.
She peered through a crack in the door and saw her handsome sons, so big and strong. So successful. Gage, owner of the construction firm Andrew had started. Derrick, his partner and an amazing architect. And Dylan, the apple of her eye, an amazing psychiatrist with an exceptional ability to help others.
Her son, always giving and rarely taking for himself.
“Fuck if I know, Derrick.” Dylan sighed. “I like James. I respect him. He’s a hell of a therapist, like Mom. He’s intelligent, nice, successful. But it’s like…”
“Like he’s taking Dad’s place?” Gage offered. “Even though Dad’s been gone for a long time, he’s always here, you know? And if James is suddenly in the picture, maybe you’re feeling like Mom’s forgetting him.”
Dylan and Derrick stared at Gage in astonishment. Barbara held a hand over her mouth to stifle her own gasp. Who would have thought the truth would spill from her youngest, normally the least perceptive of the group?
“That was actually insightful.” Dylan blinked. “Oh my God. Did you suddenly develop a brain under all that muscle?”
“I think Hailey cut down on his steroids, so now he’s able to think. That or all the sex he’s been having has enabled him to focus on something other than tits and ass.” Derrick laughed at him.
Gage glared. “Funny, dickhead. You should talk. I swear, we’re lucky you didn’t bend Sydney over the table the last time we met Mom for breakfast. Jesus. Can’t you save it for when you’re home alone?”
“Me? What about—”
“Derrick, can it.” Dylan blew out a breath. “The fact is, Gage might be right. I’ve been trying to deal with my fucked-up emotions. I’m pretty good at this therapy gig, you know.”
“So you say,” Gage said.
“All the time,” Derrick added.
Dylan scowled at them both, and Barbara’s heart raced. He reminded her so much of Andrew right then. “You guys always used to hang with Dad, and I was with Mom. Then Dad died, and you two seemed to adjust easier than Mom and I did.”
Derrick considered him. “That’s true. I remember how quiet you were at the beginning. It took you a while to deal.” Derrick had played a huge part in bringing Dylan back to normalcy.
“Mom was worse,” Dylan admitted. “She used to cry every night. She had bad dreams and lost all that weight. And her hair turned white. She used dye to cover it, but I knew.”
Dylan had never told her that he’d known of her struggles, not in eleven years.
“No shit?” Gage looked stunned.
“The guys she dated were a cover, so she’d appear normal, as if she were getting over him. But none of them mattered, at least, not in those first few years. Mom gave up on a life outside of us,” Dylan said quietly. “And I guess I was a selfish bastard, because I let her. I knew what she was doing, and I never pushed her.”
Oh Dylan.
“Come on, bro. Mom’s Mom.” Derrick shook his head. “She does nothing she doesn’t want to do. Besides, James has been by her side all this time. She never dated him though, did she? Not until now.”
“The bastard waited, bided his time, then pounced.” Gage grinned. “Smart guy.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s what’s been so hard.” Dylan seemed to be talking to himself. Reasoning it out. “Mom healed herself. She found love, and she grabbed on to it. And now she doesn’t need me so much anymore.”
“That’s stupid.” Derrick poked Dylan in the chest.
“Ow.”
Gage frowned. “If that hurt, you really should start working out. I mean, that’s Derrick poking you.”
“Shut up, baby.” Derrick flipped him off.
“Asshole.”
“My point,” Derrick emphasized, “is that Mom wants you with her. She asked you to join her firm.”
“Practice,” Dylan corrected.
“Whatever. She trusts you enough to link your names together professionally. And you know how anal retentive she is about work.”
“Amen to that,” Gage said.
“Yes, but that’s a professional decision, not a personal one.”
“Bullshit.”
She wanted to go in there and hug Derrick for saying what she hadn’t—and that was her burden to bear. But, honestly, Dylan kept secrets so close to his chest. She’d never realized he might feel so responsible for her. But she should have known. Oh, and now I’m thinking like my idiot son, taking on guilt for things I couldn’t control.
Derrick continued riding Dylan. “Mom loves you. You’re her favorite.”
“I am not.”
“Yeah, you are,” Gage retorted. “Well, only in certain instances. Like the head-shrink crap.”
“Okay, maybe favorite is the wrong word.” Derrick shrugged. “But you guys have so much in common. You talk all the time on the phone. A grown man and his mother. And you’re not some stupid momma’s boy, I know. You guys actually like each other. I just don’t get why you can’t tell her this.”
“Because I feel stupid. I should have worked through this already.”
“Dude, just because you’re a therapist doesn’t mean you know everything.” Gage snorted. “You really do have a massive ego, don’t you?”
Dylan told Gage to do something anatomically impossible, to which Gage only laughed.
“Well, genius brother of mine, let me take it one step farther,” Derrick said.
“That’s further.” Dylan raised a brow, but a corner of his mouth had quirked up.
Derrick talked over him. “Gage is engaged to Hailey. I’m with Sydney—”
“You mean she’s stuck with you,” Dylan interrupted. “Poor woman.”
“Let him finish, Dr. Dork.” Gage slapped him in the back of the head and Dylan put him in a headlock.
Derrick continued as if the pair weren’t in danger of knocking Barbara’s favorite vase off the counter as they wrestled. But she stopped herself from going inside, needing her son to finish his point. She admitted she was impressed. Derrick had to have been listening to her all those years he pretended to disdain therapy. He was good. “—and now Mom has James. You’re all left out.”
Dylan stopped moving, and Gage twisted out of his hold and punched him in the gut.
“Damn it.” Dylan glared at Gage, but his features eased as he stared at his twin. “My God. You’re actually pretty good at this.”
“Well, thank Sydney. She’s fucked up about her mother, and it takes a lot of work to keep on top of that redhead, let me tell you.”
They all grinned. They loved Sydney, but her mother annoyed the piss out of them all. Barbara included.
“So you think that everyone finding love and moving on is making me confront my own past guilt and feelings of responsibility toward Mom?”
“Um, yeah. That’s what I just said.” Derrick scratched his head. “I think.”
Dylan sighed. “I have to agree. I keep telling myself to accept her moving on. And hell, next month it’ll have been eleven years. I don’t want her living like a nun. But none of the others measured up to Dad. And I think…” he scrubbed his face, “…I think James does.”