Sam gritted his teeth and took one more step. The anguish in Aimi’s voice almost made him turn around just so he could reassure her, comfort her. But he couldn’t. He had to do this. A part of him had wanted to do this for years but he had just lacked the courage. Now that it was forced upon him, he was not about to back out.
Intense pain flooded every part of his being. Like the tests years earlier involving the Bible and cross, Sam did not cry out. He wouldn’t give the priest the satisfaction. Resolutely, he carried on, determined to get to the church doors. Hikari and Father Rainey had told him it was important that he reach them for some reason. They were only a handful of steps away, but the distance seemed to grow with every second Sam spent in the grounds.
His feet, which were the only physical contact point with the hallowed ground, felt like they were on fire — despite his trainers. He made himself concentrate, the way Hikari had taught him, channelling and focusing his thoughts. It was extremely difficult though. The fire had spread to his thighs and was steadily heading further up his body. His mind kept telling him he was actually on fire and he had to deliberately stop himself from hurling his body on the ground and rolling around to put it out.
Something — someone? — seemed to be whispering inside his head. Dark, insidious thoughts. Give up, they said. It’s not worth it. There is an easier way. He recognized the tone; he’d heard it before in his dreams.
He shook his head like a dog, trying to shake the dark thoughts away, then peered both ways. Perhaps it was the pain playing tricks with him … but there seemed to be a darker patch of shadow just outside the church grounds. Something — he couldn’t quite make out what it was — seemed to be watching him from within. He caught a flash of something within the darkness. Something white. Teeth. The thing that was in his head was smiling at him. Laughing at him.
You don’t have to do this. Join us and there will be no more pain, the voice inside his head whispered again. We can make it go away.
He suddenly knew what it was that was watching him. A demon. One of his own kind. He took another step, focusing on how it would feel to kill it. The thought filled him with strength. It would feel good, he decided. That was how he had answered Father Rainey’s question. It would feel good. The thought of plunging his blades through a demon’s body would bring a great deal of satisfaction. It wouldn’t bring his mother back — nothing would — but revenge would certainly make him feel better.
Two more steps. For a brief second, the demon’s thoughts filled him with temptation. He knew that they could take away the pain, but at what cost? His soul? He was already half demon; would this take away the goodness of his human side? Other thoughts flashed through his brain — thoughts of Aimi, Hikari, his mother. They gave him strength. The whispered thoughts in his head were suddenly gone, as if acknowledging his resolution.
The pain had reached his abdomen now, mingling with the churning sensation in his stomach. He ignored it. The steps to the church were in front of him. As soon as he laid a foot on the first one, the pain intensified so much that his lips could not contain the cry of pain that shot from him. Shame suddenly overrode every other consideration — shame at his weakness.
Especially in front of Aimi.
Before he could think, he hurtled the last two steps and stood tall before the open doors. For the first time in his life, he saw the inside of a church. The pain was so incredible now that it had become an abstract thing — too terrible and intense to even begin to describe. He locked it away at the back of his mind, lost in the vision before him. At the far end was the altar. Stained-glass windows glowed faintly in the moonlight streaming through, illuminating the sculpture of Christ on the cross that hung above the altar. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Then the sculpture seemed to move, and Christ’s body twisted on the cross to look directly at him.
The pain suddenly grew even more intense, so great that Sam’s mind had no recourse but to retreat into unconsciousness. Before his body hit the ground, he remembered one thing. Jesus, the son of God and his saviour, seemed be smiling at him.
Sam had often thought that the front porch was a good place to sit at night. With the lights out, he could watch people going past without being seen himself. A pleasantly cool breeze was coming down from the Rockies. Autumn was definitely on its way, Sam reflected.
He wasn’t alone. Aimi had joined him and the two sat in the two wooden armchairs, enjoying each other’s company. They weren’t saying much. Sam wasn’t a dynamic conversationalist at the best of the times, but he just enjoyed being in her presence.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” said Aimi, finally breaking the silence.
Sam nodded thoughtfully, even though he disagreed. “Yes, I did,” he said quietly.
It had been two days since the horrific experience at the church. When he’d come to, Sam had found himself lying on the couch in Father Rainey’s house. Hikari and Aimi had to support him during the short walk home. Both had seemed extremely upset. Hikari had kept apologising, even though Sam didn’t know what he was apologising for — he understood why the test was necessary.
He still wore bandages over his palms, even though Hikari had said the injuries from the iron spikes had healed. The rest of his body felt like he had really unpleasant sunburn. Taking cold baths had hardly helped. He had expected to see his legs completely covered with burns when he had finally taken his clothes off. Curiously, there were no marks at all other than the ones on his hand. It made no sense. But then again, lots of things weren’t making sense lately.
He still felt exhausted though — drained both mentally and physically. Hikari had thought it prudent to give him a couple of days respite from his training in order to recuperate.
“You shouldn’t listen to everything Father Rainey says. I don’t like him.”
Sam didn’t like Father Rainey either, but that was beside the point.
“Why did you do it?” Aimi asked, touching his arm gently.
Sam sighed. Aimi could be like this sometimes. If she didn’t get an answer immediately, she would persevere until she did.
“Because I had to see for myself. I had to see inside the church. To see who it is that I’m fighting for.”
“And did you see?”
Sam smiled. “Yes, I most certainly did.”
He hadn’t told anyone about what he’d seen the sculpture of Christ do. He thought maybe they’d laugh at him. It was his little secret and one that gave him a little glow of pleasure. The pain and suffering had been worth it for that one little gesture — the knowledge that Christ really appreciated what he was prepared to do in order to ready himself for the battle ahead.
“Besides,” he said, “Hikari and Father Rainey really needed to know the effects of holy ground on my body. They both seem to enjoy testing my limits. I think Father Rainey expected my body to go up in flames. He almost looked disappointed when I didn’t. Well, now they know. As Hikari would say, knowledge is … “
“Power,” Aimi finished for him. She laughed. It was one of Hikari’s favourite sayings, almost a mantra. She looked thoughtful for a moment. “And how do you feel about the other thing — you know, about killing other demons?”
There was a long moment of silence before Sam answered. “I feel good,” he said truthfully. “Even though part of me is demon, I won’t hesitate.”
Aimi shook her head. “Part of you isn’t demon,” she said. “You’re all human — you just have those horns for decoration.” She laughed again, forcing another smile from him.
She always did that. Always made him feel good about himself. There were precious few things that could do that: Hikari and the sense of accomplishment he felt with his training and … Aimi. Lately, he’d found himself daydreaming about what the future had in store for the two of them. What happened if the Rapture never occurred? Did that mean that Aimi and he might have a future together when they were older? Even at this young age, he knew he loved her and sensed that she felt the same way about him.