“Even then.”
She made a slight gesture with her hands. Her pale cheeks were washed with the faintest color. “Then think of me kindly, Cammon, when you think of me, and know that I will remember you with the utmost fondness.”
She did not lay her hand on his arm or touch him on the cheek. She was not a woman for casual expressions of affection. But her face was still warm as, without another word, she turned and paced away. Cammon stayed behind feeling both bereft and strangely peaceful, and with his mind followed her all the way back to the palace doors.
Amalie was crying when he found her an hour later, and she flung herself into his arms. “Valri’s leaving,” she sobbed into his shirt. “I knew she would-but I thought-I hoped-and she says she doesn’t know when she’ll be back-”
Cammon held her close and stroked her head, murmuring into her hair. Amalie so rarely needed comfort that he almost enjoyed the chance to soothe her. “And Kirra’s gone, and Donnal’s gone,” she added with a hiccup. “And Uncle Romar is gone. And I know I’m supposed to be princess, and I know I’m supposed to be strong, but I miss them. I miss everybody.”
“Shhh,” he said, resting his cheek on her hair. “I miss them, too. But they’ll all be back. And more friends will arrive. No need to be lonely, not ever again.”
She sniffled, rubbed her nose against his shirt, and raised her head to kiss him. “And you’re not leaving,” she said. “Promise me.”
It was as if she had asked him to promise to keep breathing, to notice sunshine, to permit the spinning of the earth. What choice did he have? Even if he left her, she would be camped in his heart, an insistent and willful presence. She would match her strides to his on any journey he ever took; she would lie beside him on any bed.
“Amalie,” he said, “that’s the easiest promise I’ve ever had to make.”
CHAPTER 45
ELLYNOR was teaching Senneth how to cook.
Like anyone who spent much time camping, Senneth could throw together a meal of dried rations and fresh game, but she was baffled by the intricacies of spices and marinades. Truth to tell, she wasn’t even that interested in learning her way around a kitchen-but she liked working at the stove and oven. She enjoyed the close communion with fire, even when she couldn’t control it.
She was also enjoying the chance to spend time with Ellynor, who was still something of a mystery to her. Kirra’s abrupt departure a month ago had left Senneth unexpectedly lonely for female companionship. She was friendly with Janni and the other women Riders, but with them, she didn’t have that powerful connection she shared with Kirra. She didn’t have it with Ellynor, either, but she was hopeful. It was impossible to dislike Ellynor; that should make it easy to learn to love her.
“Now, strictly speaking, salt bread should only be offered on feast days, but Justin loves it so much that I’ve been making it fairly often,” Ellynor confessed. “Have you ever made bread? No? I think you’ll like it. It requires both energy and attention, but it always rewards you.”
At that Senneth laughed out loud. “And you think that is the kind of activity that appeals to me? I suppose you’re right.”
“Well, you seem to be the kind of woman who doesn’t mind hard work, as long as it results in something worthwhile,” Ellynor said with a smile. The Lirren girl had tied her long hair back in a rather sloppy braid, and a smear of flour decorated her face. She looked about seventeen, Senneth thought-but a much more contented seventeen than Senneth had ever been.
“I might say the same thing about you,” Senneth retorted. “Although, you know, I’m not used to thinking of us as having much in common.”
Ellynor’s smile widened. “Except that we both have difficult and domineering brothers that we’ve gone to some trouble to escape.”
Senneth laughed again. “True. I suppose that shapes a woman more than she’d like to admit.”
“Family always shapes you,” Ellynor said. “For good or for ill. You strive to become what your family wants you to become, or you fight to become exactly the opposite. I’ve done a little of both.” She measured out some kind of aromatic spice that was already making Senneth hungry. “You would say you’ve only fought to be free, but I think you’d be wrong about that.”
Senneth leaned against the stove, soaking up the heat through her trousers. “I refuse to admit that I’ve done anything to please Kiernan and Nate,” she said. “But I have to say that I have never entirely been able to shake off my pride in what Brassenthwaite stands for, and I have to confess that I believe Kiernan represents Brassenthwaite admirably. Whether or not I do-” Senneth shrugged. “Not so clear.”
“Brassenthwaite serves the crown. That’s what Justin says,” Ellynor replied. “And so do you.”
“I do indeed,” Senneth said. “So perhaps after all I am a splendid example of my House.”
Ellynor began slowly and methodically kneading the ingredients together. “What now?” she asked. “With the realm more or less at peace? Will you stay in Ghosenhall? Justin says you have toyed with the idea of petitioning to become a Rider.”
“I don’t know that I’m serious about that, but both Tayse and I feel an obligation to stay at the palace with Amalie. The kingdom is no longer under the threat of war, that’s true, but there is still some turmoil among the Houses! I think she needs us, and so we must stay. Though I am a little restless, I must admit. I cannot remember the last time my life was placid. I’m not sure I will know how to get through days that are not marked with strife and trouble.”
Ellynor gave her a swift look from her midnight blue eyes. “You could have a baby,” she said. “That would enliven your days considerably. Have you and Tayse ever discussed that?”
“No,” Senneth said blankly.
“Do you think he would want a child?”
Senneth crossed her arms on her chest and thought about it. “I don’t know,” she said at last. “He never had any deep bond with anyone in his own family. He admired his father, of course, but it was difficult to feel close to Tir. And although he’s always been kind to his mother and his sisters, it’s not like he-well, it’s not like he really thinks about them. So I have no idea how he would feel about a child of his own.”
“He loves you,” Ellynor said. “And it would be your child. I think he would find himself head over heels in love.”
Senneth wasn’t sure. “Maybe.” And then, since it seemed the reciprocal question should be asked, she inquired, “Do you think Justin would ever want children?”
All of Ellynor’s attention was on the dough taking shape beneath her hands. “I hope so,” she said softly.
Senneth jerked upright. “What? You’re pregnant?”
Ellynor nodded.
Senneth threw her arms around the Lirren girl. “That’s wonderful! When is the baby due? Does Justin know?”
“I’m only a few weeks along. No, I haven’t told him yet. But I think-I’m pretty sure-he has said things that make me think-well, his own family was so dreadful. He would do anything in his power to create a better life for any child of his own.” She looked up, and her pretty face wore a smile, though there were tears in her eyes. “I think he’ll be both the gentlest and the fiercest father you ever saw.”
Senneth wouldn’t have expected to be so delighted, but the news filled her with elation. Justin a father! Having never given such an eventuality a moment’s thought before, she now found the picture irresistible. “You’re quite right! May the gods protect anyone who offers harm to any child of Justin’s. But he’ll be absolutely struck dumb with love. Oh, this is wonderful. You have to tell him right away, so I can tell Tayse.”
“That’s why I’m making the salt bread,” Ellynor said. “For celebration.”