This sequence of blocked memories and remembered responsibilities occurred perhaps ten times during the course of the meal. By the end of it, Cammon was not surprised that Kirra was feeling a little grim underneath her bright exterior.
No one else at the table was having to work so hard to have an enjoyable time. Delt Helven was still nervous, Amalie still gracious, the other visitors happy just to be in the room with royalty. By most standards, a successful meal.
“Let’s withdraw to the salon, shall we?” Baryn said as the dinner came to a close. “Perhaps another glass of wine and a little conversation before we end the evening.”
Chairs scraped on the floor as people stood, talking quietly to their neighbors. Belinda exited on the king’s arm, Amalie accompanied by Delt Helven. Kirra had been detained when a young Merrenstow woman asked her a question, and so she wasn’t able to escape when the regent approached her.
“Serra Kirra,” Romar greeted her. He was almost as fair as Kirra, with dark gold hair tied back from his strongly modeled face. “It has been some time since you have last graced us with your presence.”
The Merrenstow woman curtseyed and left; Kirra was left face-to-face with her former lover. Cammon knew he was supposed to follow the others into the adjoining salon, but he lingered in the hallway just outside the dining room, listening. He could feel Kirra’s sudden panic.
It didn’t show. “Lord Romar!” she exclaimed. “I wondered if you might be here. Have you abandoned your estates entirely so that you might stay close to Amalie?”
“I’m afraid I have,” he said. “I travel back once a month or so, but I am much in demand here. In the past I had left my wife to care for the land while I was absent, but, as you see, she is in a delicate state, and I do not like to have her there without me.”
“Yes, I had heard you were expecting a child. You must be so pleased.”
“Excited and afraid,” he amended.
“I think all new fathers feel the same,” she said.
“There is news from Danalustrous, I hear,” he said. “Your sister is to marry Senneth’s brother Will. An excellent match by any measure.”
“Yes, and I am delighted for her, but oh!-the wedding preparations! I think I shall be driven mad. You will know how frantic we have been when I tell you that I came to Ghosenhall for a little peace, for it is never quiet in Ghosenhall.”
As she spoke, Cammon could pick up a small spiral of actual pain rising through her bones. She was digging her fingernails into her palms, perhaps, or holding her hands behind her back and pinching her flesh. Yet her voice retained its easy lilt, and her face no doubt still showed its warm smile.
“How long do you plan to stay?” Romar asked. “Will you be joining us every night?”
She laughed. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but I cannot commit to endless dinners! I am very restless, you know, and not very proper. I am sure I will be pursuing much more entertaining activities that do not revolve around the social life in the palace.”
Cammon could hear the clink of plates and silver being piled together as servants started to clear the table. Kirra, he thought, might be edging for the door, but Romar Brendyn was not yet inclined to leave. Cammon could sense the regent’s puzzlement-Why am I standing here exchanging inanities with this woman? Yet I cannot bring myself to walk out the door-and his complete focus on Kirra.
“And how have you been, serra?” the regent asked in a low voice. “Safe, I hope? I remember some of our adventures from last summer, when it seemed you endangered yourself every other day.”
It was as if Kirra had been knifed in the heart. Cammon felt her pain that clearly. Yet her voice was steady still. “I believe you were the one who was endangered, lord. I happened to be nearby once or twice when you needed rescuing.”
Romar sounded amused. “Perhaps. Although I think our recollections differ.”
“Oh,” she said, “I believe that is often the case.”
Cammon could stand it no longer. He reentered the room and bowed to them both, then turned his attention to Kirra. “Serra,” he said. “Serra Senneth has sent me to fetch you. Are you free?”
“Senneth is as bad as you are,” the regent remarked. “She tries to avoid meals in the king’s dining room as often as she can.”
Cammon offered Kirra his arm, and her hand closed spasmodically over it. Yet she managed to respond lightly to Romar Brendyn. “Still, I had better go see what she wants,” she said. “I’m so glad we had a chance to catch up tonight.”
Again, a moment’s confusion passed over the regent’s face, and then he bowed. “Yes. Very glad. I hope to see you again while you are in residence at the palace.” And he bowed again and finally left the room.
Kirra gasped and doubled over, her unbound hair falling over her shoulders and trailing on the floor. The serving girls gaped at her, then hurriedly gathered up more plates and left the room.
“Kirra,” Cammon said, grabbing her shoulders, pulling her upright, and taking her in a rough embrace. He sent out a frantic call for Senneth, careful not to alert Donnal that there was any trouble. “Kirra. Kirra. Sit down a minute. You’re trembling. Do you want some wine?”
She shook her head. “No-I’m-I’ll be fine. I’ve seen him a half dozen times since last summer, it shouldn’t still be so hard. But when he looks at me-and he doesn’t remember-and yet he almost remembers…Cammon, it is like I can’t breathe.”
“I know,” he said, tightening his arms around her. For a long moment, they stood in silence, Kirra trembling in Cammon’s embrace. He could feel the despair inside her chest, like a silver bubble the size of a clenched fist. He stroked one hand over her curly hair and imagined that silver turning to white, iridescing, and slowly shimmering away into nothing.
She jerked upright in his arms and pulled away, staring at him in wonder. “What did you do?” she asked suspiciously. She was trying to frown but Cammon could pick up her sense of overwhelming relief.
He opened his eyes wide, to indicate innocence. “What? Nothing.”
“Yes, you did-you-I don’t feel so bad. All of a sudden. You did something.”
“Well-”
But he didn’t have to answer. Senneth came skidding in from the kitchen door, Tayse a pace behind her. She looked apprehensive and he savage. Tayse had a knife already loose in his hand.
“What’s wrong?” the Rider demanded. He glanced around. “Where’s Amalie?”
“Amalie’s fine,” Cammon said. He should have realized Senneth would bring Tayse along to any nonspecific emergency. “I was worried about Kirra.”
Now Tayse’s gaze locked on Kirra, but since she wasn’t bleeding, he instantly dismissed any concerns about her immediate danger. “What’s wrong with her?”
Kirra had freed herself completely from Cammon’s hold and was smoothing down her hair and gown. “Nothing. I’m fine. Everyone is alive and healthy.”
“Then why did Cammon call for us?”
But Senneth had figured it out. Her gray eyes glanced quickly around the room and she mentally peopled the chairs with noble guests. “I suppose the regent is in the other room with his niece,” she said.