Present a single, focused argument
An essay should have a single argument and a focused thesis statement. Unfortunately, the formula for a "five-paragraph essay," the first kind of essay most people learn to write, can often lead to three (or more) separate ideas that are linked together under a common heading. Consider this example:
Christianity and Islam are similar to each other in their worship of a single God, their belief in a single holy book, and their strong belief in caring for the poor.
While this might appear at first glance to be a workable thesis statement, it actually offers three arguments instead of one—each similarity between Christianity and Islam could be the focus of an entire essay. Consider how this thesis statement could be broken into three more-specific thesis statements:
Christianity and Islam are similar to each other because both assert the existence of a single, all-powerful deity who stands outside the natural world.
The most important similarity between Christianity and Islam is that both religions' followers believe that God has spoken to them through a single book rather than through a long tradition of oral narratives.
The moral codes of Christianity and Islam are nearly identical in that each religion preaches the spiritually destructive nature of material wealth and the importance of taking care of the poor.
Each of these thesis statements could produce an interesting, focused essay, and each would be more effective and interesting than the essay produced by the first example. This kind of streamlining does not mean that an argument cannot have subpoints, or that different paragraphs should not treat different parts of a general assertion. But you have a responsibility as a writer to make very clear how each assertion supports the main thesis.
Make sure your thesis is open enough to allow for further discussion
Consider the following thesis statement:
Machiavelli's philosophy could never work because he advocates lying and liars always get caught.
A statement such as this would support only a single paragraph or two of argument after the introduction. The problem, of course, is not with the thesis statement but with the ideas in the essay—the author has not thought of enough to say. Consider the following revision:
While Machiavelli gave valuable advice to the princes and rulers of his own day, the modern notion of the separation of powers makes it unlikely that any leader of a modern democracy could practice these ideas today.
This statement opens up many more possibilities for analysis, discussion, expansion, and examples of the phenomenon that the writer wants to discuss. This thesis, in fact, will serve as the basis for the full sample essay toward the end of this chapter.
Make sure your thesis can be reasonably supported in the assigned essay
While some theses are too focused to allow for further discussion, others are too expansive to be covered in a short essay. For example:
Lao Tzu's philosophy in the Tao Te Ching is so comprehensive that it encompasses every important aspect of what it means to be human.
This thesis might be defensible in a five-hundred-page book, but no writer could adequately defend such a sweeping statement in a three-to-five-page essay. Narrowing the thesis to a manageable assertion will vastly improve the essay. In the example above, choosing one aspect of human nature and exploring how it is treated in the Tao Te Ching creates a much more focused thesis statement, which will lead to a much more manageable and interesting essay:
In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu captures an important paradox of human nature: that inaction is often more productive than action.
The most important thing to remember when you are writing your thesis statement is that the claim that you make in it, and the support that you provide for that claim, set the parameters for the rest of your essay. You must be able to tie every assertion that you make in your essay back to the argument that you articulate in your thesis statement.
INTRODUCTIONS The Introductory Paragraph
The introductory paragraph is where you make your first impression as a writer, and, just as in relationships, first impressions in reading are very difficult to overcome. This is why many experienced writers spend as much time on the first paragraph of an essay as they do on the rest of the essay. (The way that introductory paragraphs affect a writer's "ethos," or credibility, is covered in detail in Chapter 12, p. 649.) A good introductory paragraph should do three things:
Introduce the purpose of the essay and any important concepts
If your paper is about Newman's and Nussbaum's views on education, your introduction should briefly introduce Newman and Nussbaum and explain, in very basic terms, their views on education. Your goal in the introduction should not be to begin your argument outright, but to clarify all the concepts that you will use in your argument, so that when you use them in the body of your essay, the reader will be familiar with them.
Capture the reader's interest
The introduction should interest the reader in the rest of the essay. It needs to entice the reader to continue reading and convince him or her that something interesting is going to happen in the rest of the essay, that he or she will be educated or entertained or both. (Strategies for doing this are discussed below.)
Provide a platform for any thesis statement
Many writing instructors advise students to place the thesis statement somewhere in the first paragraph, often at or near the end. A thesis statement does not have to go in the introduction, but, if you do choose (or have been instructed) to place it there, it should flow naturally from the introduction. Even if you do not place your thesis statement there, the introduction needs to lay the groundwork for your essential argument, which is summarized in the thesis statement.
Strategies for Beginning
The strategies below can help make your introductory paragraph more effective. All the examples are based on the thesis statement on Machiavelli in the previous section (p. 637); the thesis statement is in bold in each example.
Give historical context
An introduction that offers a meaningful discussion of any key concepts can help to orient readers to your argument:
In the early sixteenth century, a prince had absolute power over his state. When Machiavelli wrote The Prince in 1513, therefore, he set out to teach potential leaders how to best utilize the tyrannical power at their disposal. His advice was clear, concise, and very effective for its time; however, much has changed in the past five hundred years. Since the late eighteenth century—when in their new Constitution America's Founding Fathers experimented with a radical idea called the "separation of powers doctrine"—most of the industrialized democracies in the world have adopted some form of power sharing between their executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government. While Machiavelli gave valuable advice to the princes and rulers of his day, the modern notion of the separation of powers makes it unlikely that any leader of a modern democracy could practice these ideas today.
Build your introduction around a key definition
Many times, your essay will introduce, or even revolve around, a key definition that actually defines the argument that you are making. In such cases, it is often a good idea to organize your introduction around this definition: