Reflexively, he tightened his arms around her. “It’s just a hobby, Megan. Nothing more.”
“You know, writing was once my hobby.”
He welcomed the change in subject. “You didn’t always write?”
“Well, yes…kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“I didn’t start out as a professional writer, but I always wrote in a journal, if that counts for anything. I’m a legal secretary by trade. I started writing after my divorce. Being a published writer was always a distant dream, but I wanted to be a children’s writer so badly that I made the dream come true. It took a lot of hard work and rejections from many publishers, but I finally got an offer and a series of my own. And I couldn’t be happier with my choice.” She smiled softly, encouragingly. “I believe in you, Kane. But you have to believe in yourself before you can believe in your work.”
“You make it sound so easy.” He wanted it to be that easy.
“It is. I believe in your talent and ability.”
He wished that was enough. “Yeah, well, I’m not one to take chances.” The odds were against him.
She lifted her fingers to the stubble covering his jaw, her touch light and reverent. “You took a chance with me.”
His throat jammed with a hundred different emotions he couldn’t define. Stealing an opportunity to end their conversation and make him forget, for a little while, what he’d never have, he slid a hand down her back and maneuvered her gently to the floor, easing his body over the length of hers.
“You, if I recall correctly, Mrs. Fielding,” he murmured, dipping his head to plant teasing kisses on her lips, “were a sure thing.”
“Kane, could I see you in my office, please?”
Jeff’s request put Kane instantly on guard, especially since Jeff had never summoned him to his office in the year and a half he’d been in charge of the mill. He wondered what was wrong.
Kane picked up a freshly cut board and placed it on the pile behind him. “Be right there, boss.”
Five minutes later Kane walked into Jeff’s office. He removed his leather gloves, tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans and approached the steel desk where his boss sat.
Jeff looked up from a file spread open in front of him. “Have a seat, Kane.”
Lowering himself to one of the Naugahyde chairs, he tried to relax his suddenly tense body. “Is there a problem?” he asked gruffly.
“Yes, there is.” Jeff ruffled through the papers in the file and pulled one out. “I know I’ve only been in charge of the mill the last couple of years since my father died, and it’s taken me a while to get up to speed on everyone. I’ve been reviewing your employee file and I’ve noticed you’ve topped your wages in your position.”
Kane’s jaw tightened. “I’m satisfied with my wages.”
Jeff eyed him steadily, making Kane uncomfortable. “You’ve passed up numerous promotions.”
“I’m satisfied where I’m at.”
An odd look passed over Jeff’s features. Then he went on, either not having heard how satisfied Kane was or purposely dismissing his claim. “Roy Peters just gave me two weeks notice. He’s moving to California. There’s a position open in purchasing, and I’d like to offer it to you.”
“No.” Kane’s answer was quick and instinctive.
“There would be a considerable salary increase-”
“No.”
“You’re perfect for the job, Kane,” Jeff argued. “You know this mill inside and out-”
Kane’s hands curled into tight fists on his thighs. He experienced a strange sense of déjà vu and couldn’t help but wonder how Megan would feel about him refusing a job promotion and salary increase. He remembered Cathy’s bitterness when he’d refused her father’s job offer and didn’t think he’d be able to stand the same rejection from Megan.
But he couldn’t accept the job, either.
He pulled in a deep breath to calm the chaos raging inside him. “Thanks for the offer, but no.”
Leaning back in his chair, Jeff regarded Kane speculatively. “Mind if I ask why?”
Kane stared at him, wondering what his boss would say if he told him the truth, that he’d be totally lost in the sea of paperwork the purchasing position required. He remained silent. His gut churned, and a muscle in his jaw ticked.
Jeff released an impatient sigh. “I need to note on your review the reason why you refused the promotion.”
“Just put personal reasons.”
When had he completely lost control of his life?
Kane scrubbed a hand over his jaw as he drove home from work, an aggravated sound rumbling from his chest. A familiar frustration flooded him, stripping away any bit of confidence he’d been feeling since his conversation with Megan about selling his woodwork. He couldn’t even accept a job promotion in an industry he’d been involved in since the age of twelve, and Megan thought he could run his own business?
Pulling into his dirt drive, he swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat. Lately, he’d been feeling as though he was dodging bullets that were increasing in quantity, speed and size. The changes in his life were happening rapidly, and keeping up a pretense required all his concentration. Coping on a day-to-day basis with all the adjustments Megan was making at home was going to push him to the brink of insanity. She was pulling the rug from beneath his feet, constantly making him stumble and grope for balance.
Tired and weary, he got out of the truck, gave Andrew a halfhearted hello and wave as he played in the yard and entered the house through the kitchen. He stopped just inside the threshold, his gaze taking in yet more changes.
She must have unpacked another box of her things and done more shopping in the city. Peach frilly curtains framed the window over the sink, and a floral arrangement sat on the table, along with new matching place mats and cloth napkins at each setting.
He noticed other things, too, new appliances on the counter and dish towels that weren’t frayed around the edges. What else had she replaced in the kitchen?
Suddenly feeling irritable and edgy, he set his lunch box on the counter and opened the cupboard where he normally stored packaged and canned foods. Floral patterned plates and bowls had replaced his chipped set of dishes. And the food, he discovered as he rummaged around, was in a different cupboard. Sometime over the past three days she’d gone grocery shopping again and was slowly replacing the brands of food he recognized with her own selections.
He blew out a harsh breath and slammed the cupboard door, which did nothing to calm his escalating temper.
“Kane?”
He spun around and glared at the woman responsible for spinning his world out of control and wreaking havoc with his emotions. The day’s accumulation of stress, combined with frantic fears he couldn’t name, caused something within him to snap. “I can’t find anything in this house anymore! By the time you’re done rearranging and decorating everything, will I have anything to call my own?”
Her eyes widened at his outrage and she took a step back, confusion etching her features. He was glad for the distance his anger put between them, but he hated himself for hurting her. Damn, he didn’t know what to do or feel anymore.
“I only thought I’d add some of my stuff to the house. If it bothers you…”
Her words faded as his gaze drifted to the stack of banded letters she clutched against her chest. Prickles of apprehension raced down his spine, and his legs turned to jelly. Terror, cold and clammy, gripped him. Oh, God, no…
He started toward her and grabbed the letters, his movements rough enough to startle her. “Where did you get these?” he demanded. But he knew the answer. Knew, too, that she’d discovered more than just these unopened letters. Bile rose into his throat until he thought he might be sick.
Her gaze narrowed, as if she was trying to figure him out and analyze his radical behavior. He didn’t like her scrutiny. Not one bit. He deepened his scowl in an attempt to discourage her silent probing.