Luka cleared his throat. “You were the prototype for the drug you have been on. Your memories are still within you, but it will take you time to get them all back.”
“You know this?” I asked, my eyes noticing the many scars on his flesh.
“I’m living it,” he replied, “and I was not on the same drug as you. Your drug was far worse, much more powerful.”
My fingers clenched. My teeth started to grind at that information, but I nodded my head for Luka to continue.
“You had a large family, Zaal. Two sisters and two brothers. You were the eldest, with your twin. You had a sister who was five, and a younger set of siblings, a baby girl and a baby boy.”
I worked on breathing, though it was a challenge. “Go on,” I pushed.
Luka continued. “Jakhua was a family friend, the boss of an allied Mafia family. Then one day, he came into your house…” Luka took a deep breath. My stomach tightened. I felt I should know this. I knew this piece of information was important.
“Go on!” I bit out. Luka’s brown eyes met mine.
“And he killed them all. Massacred your family, right in front of your eyes.”
Talia went absolutely still and turned her face into my neck. I breathed in and out, in and out. No memory returned, but anger did. Anger for what Jakhua had done. For taking away my family.
“He spared your lives, Zaal. Took you and your twin, Anri, with him to experiment on. He put you through test after test to see if the drug worked. Eventually after a few years, with you, it worked one hundred percent.” He left that hanging in the air.
“And him, my brother?” I inquired.
“Only partially. He would forget things for a time, but the drug never lasted long enough to take all his free will. Jakhua needed subjects with full obedience. He knew your brother wouldn’t give him that. So he sent him to the gulag, where I met him a few years later.”
My muscles ached and I felt exhausted. I clutched on to Talia, praying for a memory, any flicker of my past. But I was numb. Nothing was there in my fucked-up mind.
Talia, feeling me tense, stroked my skin, pressing kisses to my neck.
“And my … my brother?” I asked. The room went completely silent. Luka dropped his head, ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and rasped, “He died recently. Died in a death-match cage. In a fight.”
My chest squeezed. My cheek twitched. I waited for the pain of losing a sibling, but nothing came. It was like my brain had switched off.
The female beside Luka laid her head on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. Luka turned into her touch and she kissed him on his cheek. Luka’s tired eyes met mine and I said, “You were there.”
Luka nodded his head. “I made him a promise that I would seek revenge on his captors. We found out it was Jakhua, then we found out about you. I freed you because that is what Anri would have done if roles were reversed.” Luka’s eyes blazed with a sudden flare of fury. “And next I’ll kill Jakhua. I’ll get your brother his ultimate revenge.”
I sat, staring at Luka. His female’s eyes were glistening as she watched me. I glanced down. Talia was curled against my chest, but her beautiful big eyes were studying me carefully. It was like she was waiting for me to break.
I lowered my head at the female who was keeping me whole. I pressed a kiss to her head. “Are you okay, zolotse?” she whispered brokenly.
I nodded without words. All three of them were staring at me like I should react. Truth was, I didn’t feel anything. I had a list of events that had happened in my life, but it didn’t feel like my life. I felt like Zaal and Anri were strangers to me.
I was still 221.
I wasn’t Zaal.
Talia sat up further, but I couldn’t meet her eyes. “Zaal?” she asked again, but my eyes drifted to the staircase leading to the bedroom I’d been sharing with Talia. There I was happy. I had her and she had me.
Here, I was lost, numb. I didn’t know who I was meant to be. I didn’t know the family I used to have.
Talia made me someone. I was her Zaal.
But alone, I was nothing more than a number. Than Master’s dzaghii, his dog.
Lifting Talia in my arms, I placed her on the seat and got to my feet. “I am tired,” I said. I walked toward the door.
“Zaal?” Talia called, and ran up behind me. I turned and she pressed her small body against my chest, questions swimming in her eyes.
I lowered my head and pressed my forehead to hers. I breathed in her scent and felt warmth flood through my body. Since I had awoken drug free, I had needed her as much as I’d needed the old drug. But right now, I needed to be alone.
“I need to rest. I need. I need…”
“To be alone,” she said, finishing my words.
I pressed my lips to her forehead and said, “It is not because I do not want you. It is because I need to think I—”
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You go and sleep. You’re still recovering and today has been a lot for you to take in.”
I headed to the stairs, but turned back to Luka and asked, “Zaal is my first name. What was my family’s name?”
Luka’s eyes shot to mine. Tensing his jaw, he stated, “Kostava. You are Zaal Kostava from Tbilisi, Georgia. You and Anri were the heirs of the Kostava clan, a Mafia family.”
I soaked in those words and I wrapped my mind around that name, Kostava. Zaal Kostava.
Leaving Talia in that room took more strength than I ever could imagine. She was a part of me now. As I walked up the stairs to the bedroom, my hand felt empty without hers clutching mine.
I walked into the room and stared into the emptiness. My pulse raced and my palms began to sweat. Being alone again brought memories of being back in a cell. I fought the urge to go back downstairs.
I wanted to remember and rest.
I needed to find out who I really was.
Remember exactly how Master had taken my life from me. Exactly what he’d done to my twin brother and me.
I strode to the mirror hanging on the wall and stared at my reflection. My black hair ran down over my shoulders, my skin was marked with scars and marks. Then I looked to my face and I remembered what Luka had said. I had a twin. Anri. We looked exactly alike.
Then I looked to my left cheek and the three moles beside my eye. One, two, three. One, two, three, the little girl’s voice sounded in my head. I could almost feel her little finger tapping at my skin.
A sister. My sister. Dark eyes and dark hair, clutched in my arms.
My heart sped up as I tried to remember more. But nothing else came. That was all I had to give, for the moment.
Going to the bed, I removed my hooded sweatshirt and climbed under the comforter. I closed my eyes, Luka’s words echoing in my head: he killed them all. Massacred your family … right in front of your eyes …
And my name … Kostava. You are Zaal Kostava from Tbilisi, Georgia. You and Anri were the heirs of the Kostava clan, a Mafia family …
Chapter Fourteen
Talia
My strength drained as Zaal walked out of the living room and up the stairs to our bedroom. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Our bedroom, I emphasized in my head. Because that’s how it was for me now. It may have only been weeks, but it was weeks of days full of just him and I. I’d taught him about life. I’d showed him the sun, but he’d shown me true freedom. He’d shown me what it was to feel wanted, needed, vital to someone else’s happiness.
A deep sigh sounded behind me. I knew I had to face Luka and Kisa. Luka’s face was stone when he’d seen me be affectionate with Zaal. I hadn’t told Luka he’d changed. I had lied to my brother repeatedly when he’d called in to check on Zaal’s progress.
And I’d done it on purpose. I’d wanted Zaal to myself. Just for once, I’d wanted to have something that wasn’t Bratva owned.
Zaal was mine.
In this house he wasn’t a Kostava. I wasn’t a Tolstaia. We just were.