The guards rushed toward our table, and I froze. Zoya started crying against my neck. I held her close with one arm as Anri kept tight hold of my other hand.
The guards rushed to my mama and my grandmama and hauled them to their feet. Two guards took my baby brother and sister. They were screaming for Mama as they were dragged behind.
Anri jumped to his feet, as did I. I held Zoya in my arms. We tried to back away. Guards came for us. I gripped Zoya tighter, her arms locked around my neck. I fought for air as fear stole my breath. Then, out of nowhere, a guard rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Zoya.
Zoya screamed against my neck. Everyone was screaming, the sound deafening my ears. Dropping Anri’s hand, I reached for my little sister. But the guard was stronger.
Her terrified dark eyes met mine and tears fell down her face. “Zaal!” she screamed. Her hand reached out for me to save her.
“Zoya!” I screamed back, but a guard grabbed me from behind.
The place was in chaos, my family screaming, guards shouting, and my papa fighting to get free. My head whipped around searching for my brother as my feet left the floor, the guard holding me in the air.
He was beside me, fighting to get free. “Anri!” I called. His brown eyes found mine.
“Zaal!” he called back, gripping on to his necklace. “Dzlier. Be strong. Keep strong.” Tears fell down my cheeks, but I forced myself to keep strong.
“Zaal!” Zoya called, her little arms trying to reach me from across the yard.
Jakhua stepped forward, stared at me and Anri, then clicked his hand to the wall against our house.
The guards holding my grandmama, Papa, Mama, Zoya, Dmitry, and Lena, dragged them to the long wall that stretched around the back of the house.
Anri and I were kept back. Jakhua walked toward us. I watched my papa’s face pale. “No!” he shouted. “Get off my boys!”
Jakhua stood beside us and gripped our faces in his hands. He forced us to look forward and he hissed, “Watch, boys. Don’t you dare move your eyes.”
Mama and Grandmama held our brothers and sisters against their legs, trying to protect them. But Zoya, kept her head facing us, all the time watching me.
Her pretty face was scrunched up and she called out, “Zaal!”
I roared and fought to get free. I wanted to be with my family. I could hear Anri doing the same. Trying to get to our family.
“You fucked us all when you murdered the Tolstoi, Iakob. And I don’t plan on being stuck here in Georgia forever. The Volkovs have banned us from every good trade route, and it’s all your fault. I should never have backed you in killing Matvei. I’ve made new connections with the Arzianis. They have enterprises in the U.S. and in Moscow. You, the Kostavas … you’re done.”
My papa shook his head. My eyes focused on my family’s terrified faces, my gaze lingering on Zoya’s crying eyes. Then Jakhua lifted his arm, and a second later, dropped it. The guns began to fire.
The sound of my family screaming hit my ears first. Anri and my screams added to the chaos. Then the blood started to pour. Red liquid pooled on the pavement and ran down the back wall of the house.
My heart pumped too fast. My whole body shook as my family, one by one, slumped to the ground. Dead. All dead.
When the gunfire stopped, silence reigned. I could hear Anri breathing heavily. I was panting, too. I stared straight ahead. When the guards moved aside, my knees grew weak and I fell to the ground.
Blood. My family dead, drowned in their own blood.
My hands shook. A rage built up my throat. Then, with tears in my eyes, I screamed. My heart broke as I looked at my family on the ground … my little brother and sisters … Zoya’s body trapped underneath my grandmama’s, her hand reaching for me, now still and lifeless.
Anri screamed beside me as I vomited on the floor.
Blood. All I could see was blood.
Jakhua then moved before me and Anri. He spoke to the guards. “Knock them out. Get them in the van. We’re done here. Leave the bodies. They can rot in the sun.”
I held my stare at my dead family. Then I felt a hand grip on to mine. I looked to the side, my eyes blurred with tears. Anri’s devastated face stared back at me.
I wanted to speak, I tried, but no words came. I was racked with pain, so much I didn’t think I would breathe ever again.
I was staring into Anri’s eyes when everything went black.
I woke strapped to a bed, my brother beside me, and the pain started again …
My eyes snapped open; darkness prevailed. I was panting. My heart beat too fast. With crystal clarity, the images from my dream played over and over in my mind.… Blood, guns, Jakhua, my brother, Anri, my sister, Zoya crying, her hand reaching for me to save her … but I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save any of them.
My stomach lurched and I fought back vomit. I wanted to move. I wanted to dive off the bed and scream. I wanted to rip someone apart. Rip Jakhua apart like he ripped apart my family. I squeezed my eyes shut as my numb body refused to move. My mind held me prisoner as it replayed their deaths in my head. I could see it so clearly. I could smell the tinny smell of fresh blood, the smoke from the rapid gunfire. And I could see the lifeless open eyes of my parents, and Grandmama. I could see the tiny lapsed bodies of my baby brother and sister strewn on the bloodied floor. And I could see Zoya’s tiny hand peeking out from below my grandmama. But I couldn’t see her face.
And Anri. I could see every part of his face, identical to mine.
My stomach knotted so hard I thought I’d never breathe again, the crack in my soul so great I thought it would never heal. Before I had no feeling, no memories of my past. But now? Now I was feeling everything, every loss, every horror in my mind. Every memory was a dagger in my body, one I couldn’t remove.
Tears were pouring from my eyes. An ache, so painful it stole my breath, ripped through my body. More memories poured into my mind—the necklace, my brother, Anri. Fuck! Anri, him holding my hand.
I looked down at my hand. It still felt so real. I could still feel Anri’s fingers squeezing, telling me, “Dzlieri. Be strong. Keep strong.”
More tears fell. When I saw the horror I felt reflected in his eyes, his dark eyes, dark eyes like Zoya’s, Zoya who had died, my little Zoya, crying my name and reaching for my hand until the very end.
I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t take this wave after wave of agony that crushed my soul. I wanted the images to stop. I wanted my family’s pain to stop.
I wanted it all to fucking stop!
My body tensing and pain convulsing my chest, I turned toward Talia. I knew she was beside me, her hand lay on my stomach.
I focused on that hand. I focused on the warmth seeping into my skin.
I wasn’t alone. No longer alone. I had Talia. I had Talia in my heart.
Hearing her soft breathing, I rolled onto my side, my eyes blurring through a mist of tears. I lay on my arm, just watching her sleep. I could see her sleeping form lit by the dull light from her bedside table lamp. She knew I hated the dark. She knew it without me having to tell her it. I blinked away my tears and focused on her long golden hair, on her pink mouth parted by sleep. I squeezed my eyes shut as another stab of pain sliced my heart.