She nodded, and he saw her spread her legs wider on the bed, then invite him with a thrust of her pelvis.
And Tanal Yathvanar smiled. He had his perfect woman.
Karos Invictad regarded Tehol Beddict from above steepled fingers. ‘Very close,’ he said after a time.
Tehol, who had been staring dazedly at the puzzle box on the desk, stirred slightly then looked up with his mismatched eyes.
‘Very close,’ Karos repeated. ‘The measure of your intelligence, compared with mine. You are, I believe, the closest to my equal of any man I have met.’
‘Really? Thank you.’
‘I normally do not express my admiration for intelligence in others. Primarily because I am surrounded by idiots and fools-’
‘Even idiots and fools need supreme leaders,’ Tehol cut in, then smiled, then winced as cuts opened on his lips, then smiled more broadly than before.
‘Attempts at humour, alas,’ Karos said with a sigh, ‘poorly disguise the deficiencies of one’s intelligence. Perhaps that alone is what distinguishes the two of us.’
Tehol’s smile faded and suddenly he looked dismayed. ‘You never attempt humour, Invigilator?’
‘The mind is capable of playing countless games, Tehol Beddict. Some are useful. Others are worthless, a waste of time. Humour is a prime example of the latter.’
‘Funny.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Oh, sorry, I was just thinking. Funny.’
‘What is?’
‘You wouldn’t get it, alas.’
‘You actually imagine yourself brighter than me?’
‘I have no idea regarding that. But, since you abjure all aspects of humour, anything I might consider and then observe with the word “funny” is obviously something you would not understand.’ Tehol then leaned slightly forward. ‘But wait, that’s just it!’
‘What nonsense are you-’
‘It’s why I am, after all, much smarter than you.’
Karos Invictad smiled. ‘Indeed. Please, do explain yourself.’
‘Why, without a sense of humour, you are blind to so much in this world. To human nature. To the absurdity of so much that we say and do. Consider this, a most poignant example: a mob approaches, seeking my head because I stole all their money, and what do you do to appease them? Why, throw them all the money you’ve stolen from them! And yet, it’s clear that you were completely unaware of just how hilarious that really is-you made your decision unmindful of what, eighty per cent of its delicious nuances. Ninety per cent! Ninety-three per cent! And a half or just shy of a half, but more than a third but less than… oh, somewhere close to a half, then.’
Karos Invictad waggled a finger. ‘Incorrect, I’m afraid. It is not that I was unmindful. It is that I was indifferent to such nuances, as you call them. They are, in fact, entirely meaningless.’
‘Well, you may have a point there, since you seem capable of being appreciative of your own brilliance despite your ignorance. But let’s see, perhaps I can come up with another example.’
‘You are wasting your time, Tehol Beddict. And mine.’
‘I am? It didn’t seem you were very busy. What is so occupying you, Invigilator? Apart from anarchy in the streets, economic collapse, invading armies, dead agents and burning horses, 1 mean.’
The answer was involuntary, as Karos Invictad’s eyes flicked down to the puzzle box. He corrected himself-but too late, for he saw a dawning realization in Tehol’s bruised face, and the man leaned yet farther forward in his chair.
‘What’s this, then? Some magic receptacle? In which will be found all the solutions to this troubled world? Must be, to so demand all of your formidable genius. Wait, is something moving in there?’
‘The puzzle is nothing,’ Karos Invictad said, waving one bejewelled hand. ‘We were speaking of your failings.’
Tehol Beddict leaned back, grimacing. ‘Oh, my failings. Was that the topic of this sizzling discourse? I’m afraid I got confused.’
‘Some puzzles have no solution,’ Karos said, and he could hear how his own voice had grown higher-pitched. He forced himself to draw a deep breath, then said in a lower tone, ‘Someone sought to confound me. Suggesting that a solution was possible. But I see now that no solution was ever possible. The fool did not play fair, and I so dislike such creatures and could I find him or her I would make an immediate arrest, and this entire building would echo with the fool’s screams and shrieks.’
Karos paused when he saw Tehol frowning at him. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing. Funny, though.’
The Invigilator reached for his sceptre and lifted it from the desktop, pleased as ever with the solid weight of the symbol, how it felt in his hand.
‘Okay, not funny. Sorry I said anything. Don’t hit me with that thing again. Please. Although,’ Tehol added, ‘considering it’s the symbol of your office, hitting me with it, while somewhat heavy-handed, is nevertheless somewhat… funny.’
‘I am thinking of giving you over to the citizens of Letheras,’ Karos said, glancing up to gauge how the man would react to that statement. And was surprised to see the fool smiling again. ‘You think I jest?’
‘Never. Obviously.’
‘Then you would enjoy being torn apart by the mob?’
‘I doubt it. But then, I wouldn’t be, would I? Torn apart, I mean.’
‘Oh, and why not?’
‘Because, not only do I have more money than you, Invigilator, I am-unlike you-entirely indifferent regarding who ends up owning it. Hand me over, by all means, sir. And watch me buy my life.’
Karos Invictad stared at the man.
Tehol wagged a broken finger. ‘People with no sense or appreciation of humour, Invigilator, always take money too seriously. Its possession, anyway. Which is why they spend all their time stacking coins, counting this and that, gazing lovingly over their hoards and so on. They’re compensating for the abject penury everywhere else in their lives. Nice rings, by the way.’
Karos forced himself to remain calm in the face of such overt insults. ‘I said I was thinking of handing you over. Alas, you have just given me reason not to. So, you assure your own Drowning come the morrow. Satisfied?’
‘Well, if my satisfaction is essential, then might I suggest-’
‘Enough, Tehol Beddict. You no longer interest me.’
‘Good, can I go now?’
‘Yes.’ Karos rose, tapping the sceptre onto one shoulder. ‘And I, alas, must needs escort you.’
‘Good help is hard to keep alive these days.’
‘Stand up, Tehol Beddict.’
The man had some difficulty following that instruction, but the Invigilator waited, having learned to be patient with such things.
As soon as Tehol fully straightened, however, a look of astonishment lit his features. ‘Why, it’s a two-headed insect! Going round and round!’
‘To the door now,’ Karos said.
‘What’s the challenge?’
‘It is pointless-’
‘Oh now, really, Invigilator. You claim to be smarter than me, and I’m about to die-1 like puzzles. I design them, in fact. Very difficult puzzles.’
‘You are lying. I know all the designers and you do not number among them.’
‘Well, all right. I designed just one.’
‘Too bad, then, you will be unable to offer it to me, for my momentary pleasure, since you are now returning to your cell.’
‘That’s all right,’ Tehol replied. ‘It was more of a joke than a puzzle, anyway.’
Karos Invictad grimaced, then waved Tehol towards the door with the sceptre.
As he slowly shuffled over, Tehol said, ‘I figured out the challenge, anyway. It’s to make the bug stop going round and round.’
The Invigilator blocked him with the sceptre. ‘I told you, there is no solution.’
‘I think there is. I think I know it, in fact. Tell you what, sir. I solve that puzzle there on your desk and you postpone my Drowning. Say, by forty years or so.’
‘Agreed. Because you cannot.’ He watched Tehol Beddict walk like an old man over to the desk. Then lean over. ‘You cannot touch the insect!’