“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Hobie chuckled to make light of the question that had already affected her deeply.
Juliana directed a knowing look toward Hobie.
Hobie tried to laugh again, but no sound would come. She rolled her eyes and turned her head as if she could play the whole thing off as a joke. Juliana’s perceptive expression halted her ruse.
“Do you want me to tell you about me and Baylor?” Hobie set her glass of wine on a small mosaic table. She stood and began pacing. “The woman is certifiable.”
Juliana lowered her head to hide her smile.
“I turn around and she’s there. She’s like some little puppy, nipping at my heels. One minute she hates me, the next minute she does something so…so, well, so wonderful and sweet that it makes it nearly impossible not to—” She stopped abruptly, but apparently Juliana knew how to finish the sentence.
“To love her.”
Hobie looked as though she’d been slapped, then she looked as though she was going to cry. She sat heavily in the swing next to Juliana. “If you think for one moment that I’m in love with Baylor Warren...she’s nuts, do you know that?”
Juliana smiled. “She’s eccentric.”
“That’s just a rich person’s way of saying nuts,” Hobie countered. “The scary thing is that she thinks the rest of the world is crazy. She’s… oh, God, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Let’s see if I can help. She’s smart, but she knows it. She’s talented, which she doesn’t know, not how much, at least. Children and animals adore her, and although she has the patience of a saint with them, she won’t give most adults the time of day. Plus, she has an ego the size of a small third-world country and she never sees her own faults.”
“But she’s so...so...well, so the opposite of all that some days. When she’s not trying—”
“She’s sullen and brooding,” Juliana said. “Beautiful. Compassionate,” Hobie added softly. “Sarcastic. Caustic.”
“Tender. Gentle.”
“And finally, she’s the biggest pain in the ass in the whole world,” Juliana said.
Hobie looked over at Juliana. With a stricken expression, she covered her face with her hands. “Oh, God, Jules. I’m in love with the biggest pain in the ass in the world! How did this happen?”
She looked about ready to cry. Juliana wrapped an arm around her and held her for a few moments.
That’s when Baylor returned.
Baylor had suffered what she would remember as a harrowing, traumatic experience. The most embarrassing point had been regaining consciousness surrounded by a group of eight-year-old Junior Scouts. Too embarrassed to explain what happened, Baylor had made up an extraordinary story about how she suffered from seizures, and the girls were thrilled to get credit for finding her and saving her life. The older woman with them looked skeptical, but the lie served its purpose. Baylor tossed the girls enough money for ice cream and gingerly made her way back to her car.
She cleaned herself up as best she could with a travel package of Kleenex and a bottle of water. She wondered if she had a concussion; the plastic bird had hit her hard enough to draw blood. She was dirty, sweaty, and bloody, but there was only one thing to do at that point. She decided to go back to Hobie’s house and wait for her two-timing friends.
She parked the Jaguar, hoping fervently that the other women hadn’t noticed its absence. The guesthouse was not visible from the street. It was set behind the main house and surrounded by a privet and bougainvilleas. That’s where Baylor decided to set up watch.
She could hear the sound of voices, but not what they were saying. She angled over to better see the front of the guesthouse. What she saw was her best friend with her arms around Hobie, who didn’t look like she was doing much to change that situation.
“Son of a bi—ouch! Goddamn it!” Baylor had no idea that the beautiful red bougainvillea flowers, whose petals looked like rice paper, had thorns the size of small railroad spikes. She had leaned too close and the shoulder of her jacket snagged on the spiny thorns. Unfortunately, the more she struggled, the more entangled she became.
“Did you hear something?” Hobie lifted her head from Juliana’s shoulder.
“No. Did you want me to take a look?” “No, it’s probably just an alligator.”
Juliana’s eyes opened wide and she nervously looked around the dark area surrounding the porch.
“Just kidding. I haven’t seen one since I was a kid.” Hobie’s smile returned. “It’s probably just a raccoon or something equally as harmless.”
“Oh, love, you’ve got a well-evil sense of humor.”
“Sorry. Jules, I don’t want you to think I’m using you, but could I ask you one thing about Baylor?”
“I am the world’s foremost authority on Baylor Warren, my dear. Ask away.”
“What’s wrong with her? Was she dropped on her head as a baby or what?”
The question was such a serious one and Hobie’s expression so earnest that Juliana hated to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. She tilted her head back and roared with laughter.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t stop myself. You’re the first person who’s ever had the guts to ask a question like that about Baylor.”
“I’m serious,” Hobie countered with a smile and a chuckle. “My God, it wasn’t bad enough that she had Noah fighting on the playground and calling other six-year-olds rat bastards. Last week, she taught him how to spit because she said that every big-leaguer should know how.”
Juliana’s laughter increased.
“I was over at Evelyn’s house for lunch once. An alarm went off and she rushed out to the greenhouse with Arturo right behind her. I swear she’s trained that dog to do the oddest things. She grabbed a clipboard, rushed out of the kitchen, and fifteen minutes later came back as if nothing ever happened. I told you about Katherine and Helen, right?”
Juliana stopped laughing long enough to mutter, “Yeah, the gals with the big rat.”
“It’s a hamster, but that’s not the point. When Baylor first got here, I had to beg her not to offend those women.”
“What’s she doing—being mean to them? That doesn’t sound like Baylor,” Jules asked, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Mean? She goes around acting as if Albert is real. Not just to be polite to Katherine, either. She talks about that goddamn rat to everyone who’ll listen!”
“I thought you said it was a hamster.”
“Whatever! You know what I mean! The coach is another example,” Hobie added. “She only sees the coach when she goes to the Cove. He hangs around the restaurant.”
“Yeah, she told me about him. The football geezer.”
“Right. I found her one afternoon on a park bench with the man. She was drawing up plays for the team.”
“Maybe she was just trying to help the bloke out.”
“He hasn’t coached football in twenty years! There is no team!”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know what to do about her anymore,” Hobie said as she slumped into the porch swing once again. “I’m afraid I’m in love with a crazy woman, Jules.”
Juliana made a sound that was half coughing and half laughter. “Funny, she says the same about you.”
“Baylor’s in love with me?” Hobie asked.
Juliana looked up, a fearful expression on her face. “No, no, I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did! I knew it. I just knew it! That’s what she wanted to tell me yesterday.”
“No, it didn’t come from me. Don’t you dare repeat it. Something bad will happen, I know it.”
“Oh, please.”
“It will. Evelyn said—”
“Evelyn? What’s she got to do with it?”
“Oh, my God! I didn’t say that. Shut up...don’t talk to me any more about it.”
“Will you stop?”