“No,” Juliana covered her ears with her hands. “No, no, no, no, no—”
“Will you stop!” Hobie slapped Juliana’s arm sharply. “My God, you and Baylor are exactly alike. What am I getting myself into?”
Juliana looked over at Hobie with a contrite expression. “Sorry. Just…just pretend like you don’t know. I promised Evelyn—”
“What in the hell does Evelyn have to do with all of this?” “Nothing, nothing at all.”
“God, maybe it’s not Baylor who’s crazy. Maybe it’s me. I feel like I’m losing it.”
“Look, Hobie,” Juliana began calmly, “Baylor’s always been a bit different. The interesting thing is that she doesn’t see it that way. She sees herself as perfectly normal and everyone else as slightly bonkers. Maybe she’s just found a place in Ana Lia where it’s okay to be different. Maybe you and Evelyn are responsible for taking our eccentric, slightly lovable, forty-two-year-old kid and making her see that different is acceptable.”
“So you mean I’m to blame?”
Juliana chuckled. “In a way, I guess. I’m just trying to get you to look at the other side of that coin.”
Hobie smiled back, a look that was part exasperation and part resignation. “I don’t think I could pry her out of my heart now with a crowbar. Trust me, I’ve tried. God Almighty, Jules, do you want to know the absolute craziest part?”
“And that is?”
“I’m in love with the woman who, at this very moment, is spying on us from the bushes.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’d know the sound of her cursing anywhere,” Hobie said dryly. “Listen.”
Juliana paused to listen to the night sounds around them. Faintly, from the ocean side of the house, she heard Baylor’s mutterings.
“Goddamn son of a—” Then there was a ripping sound, followed by more muttered curses.
“I don’t believe it,” Juliana said.
“I do. Just what in the hell did she expect to catch us doing is what I wonder.”
“With Baylor, there’s no telling.” Juliana was trying hard not to laugh, which made her look as though she was struggling to hold her breath. “What do you think she’s doing back there to be cursing so much?” She gave up and allowed her laughter to escape.
“I don’t know, but I know what she’s going to see up here.” “What’s that mean?”
“Just follow my lead. Okay?”
“This sounds like trouble. Careful, Hobie.”
“I’m just going to give her what she came here for.” “All right, boss.”
“So want to come inside for a nightcap?” Hobie asked loudly. She rose from the swing and held out a hand. “We can get much more comfortable inside.”
“Uh, what about Noah?” Juliana asked, playing along. “Don’t worry, he’s staying the night with my mother.”
By this time, Baylor had thoroughly entangled herself amongst the spiny thorns of the bougainvilleas. She heard what was transpiring on the porch, which made her fight all the harder to get out of her current predicament. Of course, the harder she struggled, the tighter the long, vine-like branches held her in their grasp.
Juliana rose and took Hobie’s hand. When they reached the door of the guesthouse, Hobie turned around. Her next action took Juliana by surprise. She reached up and kissed her. It was no quick peck on the cheek, and Juliana’s whole body melted into the kiss. In a matter of seconds, the kiss was over and Hobie pulled Juliana through the open door.
That was about the time that Baylor went ballistic. She abandoned her jacket to the bloodthirsty branches and launched herself with amazing speed toward the guesthouse.
Juliana was still trying to catch her breath when Hobie closed the door. She leaned against a chair. “You know when I said that going out with you was like dating my sister?”
“Yeah.”
“I changed my mind. I don’t think my sister would snog anything like that.”
“You’re gonna have to explain that one.” “What, snog? Oh, kiss.”
Hobie slapped Juliana’s arm, which brought about a smile. “How long do you think it will take her?”
“Twenty, thirty more seconds,” Juliana said.
“And you say you know the woman. Five more seconds, tops. Five...four...three...two...”
Baylor pounded on the door. “Hobie Lynn, open this door right now!”
Juliana turned to Hobie. “You’re bloody good.”
“I am, aren’t I?” Hobie tossed her hair to one side as she slowly walked to the door. She laughed at her own behaviorbefore opening the door to face down her wounded would-be paramour.
“Baylor, my God, what happened to you?” Hobie asked.
Dirt and bits of leaves clung to Baylor’s clothes, and her hands were covered with bruises and scratches. The worst of it looked to be a streak of dried blood running from her hair and down one side of her face.
“You owe me three hundred dollars!” Baylor sneered. “What in the world are you talking about?” Hobie asked. “Your shrubbery ate my linen Armani jacket.”
Hobie crossed her arms. “And what, may I ask, were you doing in my shrubbery?”
Baylor opened her mouth for an angry reply. She watched as one of Hobie’s eyebrows arched and disappeared under auburn bangs. “I…she…” She couldn’t decide who to blame first. In her mind, she wasn’t to blame for any of the evening’s events. She was an innocent bystander. “You’re confusing me!” She pointed an accusing finger at Hobie.
“Good Lord. Sit down before you fall down.” Hobie shook her head. “Let me get the first-aid kit.” She walked out of the room.
Baylor sat heavily in the wooden chair. “Come here,” she all but whispered.
Juliana drew a step closer. “What?” “Come here a minute.”
Juliana crossed the small living room but stopped before reaching her friend. “Why?” she drawled out suspiciously.
“Because I’m going to beat the crap out of you!” Baylor shouted as she lunged toward her. By the time Hobie returned with the first-aid kit, Baylor and Juliana had nearly come to blows.
“Stop it.” Hobie moved between the two women. “Stop it!” she screamed. “What the hell is going on?”
“She—” Juliana and Baylor spoke at the same time. They each had a hand raised and a finger pointed at the other.
“Just stop it. Stop it now,” Hobie ordered. She stood between them, one arm against each woman’s chest, trying to keep them from attacking each other. “Has anyone ever told the two of you that you’re very high-energy friends to be around?”
“I thought they meant it in a good way,” Baylor said.
“Trust me.” Hobie pushed Baylor back into the chair. “They didn’t.”
She took a wet cloth and carefully began cleaning the cuts on Baylor’s hands. She then moved to clean the dried blood from her face and neck.
“Do you mean to tell me that my bushes did all this to you?” she asked. “What the hell did you do—dive into them?”
“No. If you must know, I was attacked by a very large bird.” “You’re kidding. Baylor, why didn’t you say so?” Perhaps the
attack had caused Baylor’s apparent disorientation. Maybe that was why she was in the bushes in the first place. “Was it a gull or a pelican?”
“I think it was a chicken, or maybe a parrot, I’m not sure. I’m sure it was yellow, though.”
Hobie paused, and she and Juliana looked at each other. “Not only are they both small birds, they are quite dissimilar
by comparison,” Juliana said.
“This thing was at least nine feet tall,” Baylor said.
“What?” Hobie laughed. “I think she might have a concussion. Baylor,” she continued loudly, “how many fingers am I holding up?”
“I’m not mentally incapacitated and I have not gone deaf, so quit yelling at me.”
“Well then, you’re quite insane. There are no nine-foot birds roaming around Ana Lia. I’m certain something like that would have made the papers. It would have been on all the news stations. I’m a vet. I would have been called.”