I gawked at my own strengths, weaknesses, and measurements that were written across the entire castle. When pictures of me as a kid appeared, my hands clenched into fists: me curled on my mattress in the attic (when had dad sneaked that one?), wearing a bow tie at one of mum’s dinner parties, playing with Hartley and her cat plushie…
“Wait, are those baby photos?” I dived for Damelza, but Crave caught me around the waist, holding me back.
The band of Crave’s arms was cool. He was strong but gentle, resting his chin on my shoulder. His breath gusted against my skin, calming me.
Damelza paused on a photo of me grinning at the camera. My eyes were so bright and happy. I’d forgotten that I’d ever looked like that as a kid before…well, the Kitten Incident.
Crave turned to press a single kiss to my neck like he understood. I jumped at his touch, and my skin tingled.
Damelza frowned. “Do you have any talents that aren’t typical of mage criminality?”
I bristled, even as I smiled brightly. “I’m wily as a fox, snuggly as a cat, and prickly as a hedgehog.”
“Or just a prick?” Crave whispered in a teasing Irish voice; his breath was warm against my neck, and it flushed me with heat as well.
I stifled a laugh. “It’s like you know me already.”
Damelza gave a sly grin. “I’m pleased that you two are getting on so well, since Crave is both your mentor and patron. Also, the Immortals have never had a whipping boy, unlike the Princes, but their good grades deserve a reward this upcoming year.”
I wrenched myself away from Crave’s hold. “Whipping boy? Sorry, but can’t you hear that…? The non-magicals in Christ Church are screaming for Superman’s help because a student’s stuck in a tree or it could be a cat… Whoops, did I just reveal my secret identity…? Anyway, I’d better go and save the world and not hang around for any of this whipping…”
Damelza snatched my collar, before I could run. “The brand on your hand connects to the wards around the academy. You’re imprisoned here. There’s no running, even if you’re Superman.” I paled, tearing at my lip with my teeth. Hecate had truly done a number on me. “And what are we…barbarians?”
Don’t answer that…
Damelza shoved me back into Crave, who wound around me like he was the cat. “The whipping boy is an ancient tradition. It simply means that if the Immortals misbehave, then you’re the one who’s punished. It teaches them responsibility and self-control, which makes the unit stronger. Plus, if there are spells or potions to be tested, they have you to try them out on in class.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I’m allergic to being the guinea pig.”
Damelza arched her brow. “Are you allergic to execution?” I flinched. “The original mage who was the only one to become a Rebel here so many years ago was walled up alive for his crimes. Whipping boy or walled up alive?”
I snatched Crave into my arms. I hadn’t realized how much smaller he was than me because he exuded more charisma than should be legal. Then I twirled him, until he was breathless and laughing.
“Whip me, baby.” I flashed a wicked grin.
Crave curled his tongue behind his teeth. “If you desire it.”
“Confess,” the bronze Hecate with the keys bellowed like a curse.
I glanced over Crave’s shoulder at Hecate. “Okay, I was Jack the Ripper… Wait, I ate the last chocolate chip cookie… Okay, okay, I left the plug in and sank Atlantis. Wow, you’re good at this.”
“Silence!” Damelza roared. Her coat dissolved in a flurry of feathers, just as the pink fires blazed up again. “Hecate has renamed you as Confess, just as she names all students. You’ve been born again into the academy.”
“Original,” I muttered.
Damelza’s lips thinned. “But truly fitting, Confess.”
In a flurry of black feathers, she disappeared.
I shivered, before disentangling myself from Crave and marching to snatch up my suitcase. I wiped off the snow in furious swipes. Branded, trapped, and reduced to whipping boy without the ability to use my power on professors.
I was starting to understand why this was viewed as the deadliest of the academies.
All of a sudden, the Blood Amulet that trapped my magic weighed heavily around my neck, searing me.
I measured everything in BM and AM: Before Magic and After Magic.
BM, I’d lived in the main house with my sister, dad, and mum.
AM, I’d been trapped in the attic.
When I’d first been moved from my rooms and realized that all my toys and books were being left behind, I’d sobbed. Until Hartley had struck me.
“Mages don’t cry,” she’d hissed, even though she was crying as much as me.
Who was the liar now?
When I’d been thrown into the warded attic like I was a dangerous criminal, I’d curled up on the floor with my arms around my knees.
I’d always been terrified of the attic because when I’d been tiny, I’d heard noises from it like someone was living up there. Hartley had taunted that it’d been monsters.
I’d fearfully peered around the dark. “P-please can I s-stay with you?”
Hartley had shaken her head.
Tears had blurred my vision. “Why’s m-mum locking me up h-here?”
Hartley’s smile had been twisted. “Because this is where the monsters live, remember?”
I’d wailed, and dad had dropped to his knees to pull me into his arms and stroke over my shaking shoulders. I’d already noticed the chains shackled to the wall.
Maybe somebody…more than one person…had already lived here before me? Was this where the mages of the House of Jewels lived?
I’d quaked that I’d be shut up and hidden away forever.
“I won’t let your mum do this…not again. I’ll save you, no matter what I have to promise or suffer. I’ll keep you safe, cub,” dad had whispered in desperate pants.
Truth: I’ll save you, just like I couldn’t save your older brother from being thrown to the wolves.
I’d screamed at the shock of my new power and the revelation that I had heard my secret older brother trapped in the attic all those years before and that he’d been sacrificed to the werewolves.
Dad’s gaze had been sadder than I’d ever seen it, as he’d slipped a Blood Amulet over my neck. “I’m sorry, but mum insists that you wear this if you’re to continue to live with us.”
I’d choked. Instantly, I’d felt ensnared, as if my new powers and true self were being forced behind an invisible wall. I’d clutched onto dad’s shoulders like he could make the sensation stop, yet he’d been the one to put the amulet on me.
It’d always hurt to imagine what dad had sacrificed to get permission from mum to take the Blood Amulet off so that I could learn to shift or to earn small comforts like my mattress, a TV, or a text from Aquilo. Yet every time that dad visited me with a joyful grin, he brought something new for me.
But the strain of it had killed him.
I’d killed him.
Crave’s hand clasped mine, warming it, and my ragged breathing steadied. I blinked, brought back to the cold reality of the academy.
When had I started to tear at the Blood Amulet, bruising my neck?
Hurriedly, I dropped the amulet.
Crave’s gaze was shrewd almost like he could see the truth, before he dragged me to the corner of the bailey, where a dragon gargoyle perched with its wings outstretched, as if it’d been caught in the moment of fleeing.