Oh yeah, she’d noticed.
But Mesilande hadn’t been cruel like the other witches who’d have used it against me. She hadn’t even become angry, when I’d told her that one day, I’d marry and protect her, which should’ve meant a beating because how could a non-magical male ever protect a witch? Plus, I had no right to choose who I married: I was property and breeding stock to be married off by the females of my family.
Mesilande had only laughed gently, and cupped my cheek. She’d called me her petit knight.
Then she’d murmured into my ear, “My mama is proposing an alliance between our Houses through our marriage. I hope that your mama accepts. You need to grow up for me, petit knight. I shall wait for you.”
I swallowed, as I peered at Mesilande: the girl who’d promised to wait for me. Only, Pan’s balls, she’d grown up beautiful.
I swept back my curls, rubbing at the smudges of dirt on my cheeks. I hadn’t seen myself in a mirror in years, only the hazy reflection of the window. What would the elegant Parisian witch think of me if she saw me?
Hold up one prickling minute… Why was I even thinking about being seen?
My nails clawed into the soft wood of the window frame. My eyes burned with tears, as I watched the birthday party below, which I was close to and yet entirely separated from.
It filled me with happiness just to see my sister happy. Wasn’t that enough? Why did I have to be so greedy? I slapped my forehead, but it didn’t help because the hope had already sneaked in.
What if Hartley had held her party in that corner of the garden on purpose? She knew that I’d be able to watch from the attic and that the music would reach me. Was she trying to be kind, so that this year I could join in, rather than be isolated?
I grinned, bouncing on my knees on the window seat. I hummed “It’s a Wonderful World”. I didn’t have much but I could steal this shared moment with my sister, Mesilande, and her friends. The sky was blue, the trees painted in multi-colors, and I could almost taste the chocolate birthday cake. Hartley looked so contented; I laughed because I’d hoped that she was.
What lie had they told Mesilande about me to explain my absence? Had mum told everybody that I’d died years ago or been sent away? The House of Jewels was all about status and perfection. I knew some covens admitted to throwing their mage sons to the wolves, but the House of Jewels wouldn’t want the scandal.
A dangerous fledgling hope grew in my chest, as the warm sunshine beat down, and I risked pushing myself up to watch the party. What if Hartley arranged this, so that Mesilande, who’d been one of my suitors and had whispered that she’d wait for me, could discover how cruelly I was being treated and rescue me?
A jolt hit me. What if all along Hartley had herself been forced to treat me like a monster because of mum?
My gaze darted between the two girls and then away. Wasn’t I like a furry version of Rapunzel locked in the tower? I didn’t have any hair to let down, but if Mesilande found out that I was still here and alive in the attic, she’d climb up and rescue me from the wicked witch (in my mind, I was brave enough to call mum that).
Only in my mind though.
My eyes gleamed, as I leaned up, resting my forehead on the window. My breath misted the glass. I trembled, flooded with adrenaline.
This was it… Just raise your hand and…
My fist fell to my side. I would be breaking a serious rule. If they saw me, and I was wrong, then I’d lose my window.
I’d be walled up like I’d truly died.
But if I didn’t, I could lose my one chance to escape. I rose my shaking fist. I might be a shimage and a disappointment of a son but I wasn’t a coward.
I knelt up on the windowsill, quaking with excitement and fear. Snails and slugs, if this worked, then I’d finally be free…
I banged on the glass, frantically waving at the girls below. “Hey, up here, yeah, that’s right. I’m up here. Hartley…Hartley…? Happy Birthday! I mean,” then I sang, just as I always had, “Happy Birthday, sister!” Hartley froze, turning to stare up at the window. The other witches were watching me as well. They hadn’t shouted back yet, but to have anyone looking at me was thrilling after so long alone. I existed, and I was about to be saved. Glow’s head was ducked. I self-consciously tucked my hair behind my ear. “Mesilande, it’s me: your petit knight. I’m trapped up here. Please, I need you to help me. Will you save me?”
Mesilande looked up, studying me with a cool smile. She was so beautiful. Then she arched her eyebrow and waved.
My heart leaped in my chest. I grinned, waving back.
She hadn’t forgotten her promise.
Hartley’s gaze met mine for a long moment. Then she whispered to Mesilande and the other witches, who all glanced up at me again, before they burst into laughter.
My grin withered and died. I flinched back, curling around myself. My cheeks flushed, and I was suddenly dizzy.
Then Hartley, Mesilande and the rest of the witches turned away and back to the party like I’d been no more than an amusing distraction. They’d known that I was locked away…and they didn’t care.
My vision blurred with tears, and I tumbled off the window seat, retching onto the mattress. My insides felt broken. I crumpled into a ball, pulling my arms over my head, but I couldn’t block out “It’s a Wonderful World” and its lies.
I was a monster. No one saved the monster.
Had Hartley set me up? She’d crushed me in a way that mum had never managed because now I knew what I’d lost and that I’d never…ever…be saved.
I sobbed, as the world span.
All of a sudden, I tumbled onto the floor of the Memory Theater. I was still sobbing, but now I wasn’t alone, a teenager, or trapped in the attic anymore. Soft arms cradled me to a woman’s chest.
Woah, looked like this cat truly had become crazy.
Then I smelled the scent of ancient forests and felt the icy touch of lips to my fevered forehead, and knew that it was Magenta holding me tightly like she was my knight and could save me.
I half believed that.
Had she fought herself free from the seats or had the straps lifted, since the ride was over?
When I glanced up, forcing myself to sink back into my adult body because it was disorienting as waking up from that vivid dream where you’re Grand Mage and Conqueror of the Universe now kneel before me weak covens (okay, that might be one of my favorite recurring dreams), to find that you’re the mage son at the mercy of your witch family. For the first minute, you’re not sure which reality is real.
If they had a Dream Theater here then I was screwed.
Bask and Sleipnir crouched either side of me with their hands resting on my shoulders.
Had they seen everything…? When I studied their troubled expressions, I shuddered. Oh yeah, they’d seen or lived through it, the same as me.
“I suffered being trapped for many decades,” Magenta murmured. “Fairy tales are a nonsense. You didn’t need others to save you because you wished to be the knight to save others, and you did. You rescued me from the dark.”