"Please!" he said. "Just go home and leave me here. I don't want to discuss it any more right now."
With that he closed the door in her face. She heard the lock click.
"Fine," Carol said.
She went downstairs, grabbed her coat, and drove home in J. Carroll. Somewhere along the way her anger gave way to hurt. And fear.
Jim had looked frightened.
Ten
Tuesday, March 5
1
You hear the cries from behind the walls of the sick houses as you trod Strasbourg's misty, filth-encrusted streets. Two months ago when you arrived from Genoa, the streets at this hour were clogged with people. Now you can number your fellow travelers on one hand. Unlike you, they hurry along with nosegays pressed to their faces to protect themselves from the disease and to fend off the odor of corruption that hangs over the town like a shroud.
Fear. Fear keeps the small surviving remnant of the populace indoors, hiding behind their shuttered windows and barred doors, peeping through the cracks; fear of catching the pestilence, for they know not whence or why it has come; fear that the world is coming to an end.
And perhaps it is. Twenty million dead in the last four years, bishop and beggar, prince and peasant alike, for the pestilence cuts across all classes. There are not enough peasants to till the fields, not enough knights to force the remainder to work. The whole fabric of Europe's social order is unraveling around you.
Fear. The very air is saturated with fear, laced with grief and tinged with the death throes of a ravaging disease. They blame God, they blame the alignment of the planets, they blame the Jews.
Fear. You breathe deeply, sucking it in like a bracing tonic.
You find the house you are seeking and push your way inside. There are seven people within, two adults and five children, but no one resists your entry. Instead the survivors plead for your aid. Two more have died since you stopped by last night. Now only the father and one of the daughters remain alive, each with draining, egg-size swellings in their groins and armpits. Their eyes are feverish, their cheeks hollow, their lips and tongues swollen and cracked as they hoarsely beseech you for a sip of water.
You hover over them a moment, drinking their misery, then tear yourself away and proceed to the back room. You lift the wicker trap you baited with cheese last night and feel the squealing weight within.
Rats. A pair of them. Good! Your supply of sickly rodents is sufficient now. You can move on.
And you must move on. The pestilence is beginning to taper off, its spread is slowing. You can't allow that. This is too good. You must make this ecstasy last.
You start back toward the street. Your horse and loaded cart await you at the stable. You really must be on your way to Nürnburg where they say there is no plague.
You'll remedy that.
But you tarry in the front room over the father and daughter. Their agonies are so exquisite. You draw up a chair to sit and watch them…
Carol awoke, cold and trembling. Another sickening nightmare. It was getting so she was afraid to go to sleep. She reached for Jim and experienced a moment of panic when she realized he wasn't beside her.
Last night she had waited up in bed alone until late, trying to distract her thoughts with Fletcher Knebel's new best-seller, but even Vanished couldn't keep her awake. She had fallen asleep before Jim came home.
Had he come home?
She went looking for him. It didn't take long to search the two-bedroom ranch—he wasn't here. Anxious now, she phoned the mansion, and with each unanswered ring the tension grew inside her. Finally Jim answered. He sounded groggy, his voice hoarse, his words garbled.
"How're you feeling?" she said, trying to sound bright and cheery.
"Terrible."
"Probably hung over. You were hitting the Scotch pretty heavily last night."
"Or not heavily enough."
"Did you finally get everything straightened out with those new journals?"
"I think so. If I can believe them. It ain't pretty."
"What's wrong? Did they tell you who your mother was?"
"Yeah. Nobody."
"Come on, Jim! It's me: Carol. Don't keep me in the dark. This isn't like you."
"Like me? Hon, are you sure you know what's like me? I'm not even sure I know what's like me."
"I know that I love you."
"I love you too. And I'm sorry about the way I acted last night."
"Then why didn't you come home?"
"Too bushed to make the walk. I stayed up with the journals all night."
"Okay. I'll pick you up and we'll have breakfast somewhere, and you can tell me all about this."
"Later. We'll talk later. Go to work. Let me go through these things one more time, and I'll explain everything—if that's possible—when you get back this afternoon. Okay?"
"I can't wait until then!"
"Please don't come out here now. I've still got a few more things to work out in my head."
"What is it, Jim?"
"It's weird, Carol. Really weird. I'll see you later."
Carol hung up and sat there by the phone, baffled and worried by Jim's mood. When there were problems, he tended to withdraw, think them out, then return with a solution. But he was so down. She couldn't remember him ever getting this low before.
She shook herself and stood up. Whatever it was, they could handle it together. She'd work through the day and they'd settle everything tonight. She headed for the shower. Mr. Dodd was due to go home with his daughters today.
At least something will go right this morning, Carol thought.
She called Jim again at around ten-fifteen, on her coffee break, using the booth in the hospital lobby so she could have a little more privacy than afforded by the Social Services office. But Jim was still uncommunicative, and if anything he sounded even more strung out. She wondered if Bill could help. Maybe he'd talk to Bill.
As she pulled another dime from her wallet she saw Catherine and Maureen, Mr. Dodd's daughters, come in through the main entrance. She dialed hurriedly.
2
Professor Albert Calder and his wife, Jane, struck Bill as a stuffy couple, the kind of people who consider themselves the intellectual superiors of most of the human race. But that was fine. Especially if they were going to adopt Nicky. They would need to be superior to keep pace with that boy.
So far Bill had overseen two meetings of the prospective parents and child here in St. F.'s, and both had gone well. The Calders were impressed with Nicky's quick mind, and Nicky had felt free to pull his child-genius routines without fear of alienating the adults. The Calders' references showed they were a stable, childless couple with a decent income and, although not terribly active in their parish, at least regular attendees at Mass.
It appeared to be a match made in heaven.
The next step was a weekend stay. The Calders were in his office now to make those arrangements.
"Okay, Father. Then it's all set," Professor Calder said. "We'll pick him up Friday afternoon after school."
He was in his mid-thirties, with thick, horn-rimmed glasses, a neat Vandyke goatee, and dark hair prematurely salted with gray, which he was letting grow over his ears. There were suede elbow patches on his tweed jacket. Here was a man who reveled in being a college professor.
Jane Calder was a short, plump redhead with a generous smile.