The realization she was watching was too much. With a strangled cry, I tipped my head back and tightened my grip on my cock as the first pulsing shot from my balls exploded onto my stomach.
Everything was gone, quiet, except the ecstasy that filled me with each spurt that left my body. I pulled the last drops out and relaxed back into the couch, spent. My vision cleared, though my lids were still heavy as I tried to catch my breath.
Lila was still watching me. The beast was satiated, my muscles relaxed. I stared back at her. “Come here.” I beckoned her over, holding out my hand.
As she got closer, I reached up and cupped her face, guiding her lips down to mine. It was soft, and through her touch, I knew sex wasn’t what she needed.
I grabbed some tissue and wiped up the mess I’d made before pulling my t-shirt back down and tucking my cock away. Once that was done, I tugged on her arm, positioning her over my lap, straddling me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, while her head rested in the crook of my neck. It felt so good to have her close, but I needed closer, and I held her as tight as I could, breathing her in. I released my grip and swept my hand up, then down her back.
“How was art class?”
She shrugged in my arms. “It was okay. I’m not very good, though, so I think when it’s up, I’ll stop. Maybe find something else.”
“Anything catch your eye?”
She hummed against my neck. “Not really. Maybe I’ll just take more swimming or dance classes, just so I can keep up with you.”
I kissed the side of her head. “You’ll be caught up in no time.”
She looked so down. “I really just miss being with you.”
“I know. Me, too. But, I also understand why Darren wants us to have separate activities, even though I hate it.”
She nodded. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
She heaved a sigh and sat back. The crushing anxiety that plagued her earlier in the day was gone, but what replaced it was almost as bad. It was like she was preparing for battle. Shutting herself down, closing in. The way her arms were held in tight and wrapped loosely around her waist told me everything.
I reached out and tilted her head up so I could look in her eyes. “Don’t shut me out, baby.” Tears started to pool in her eyes, and she wetted her lips before she looked down. “Hey, none of that. Look at me.” The sight of tears brimming made my chest clench. “I love you, Lila, and I’m here for you. I know tomorrow is going to be difficult, but you’re not alone anymore.”
Her body jerked in my arms before a whine clawed its way out of her chest and broke into a sob. The sound tore at me, shredded me to pieces. There was nothing I could do. I felt helpless, and I hated the feeling. I wanted to take away all her pain, but had no clue how.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I need lovey hugs.”
I drew her in and held her tight as she cried into my chest, letting out all of her fear. She was strong, but I also knew how fragile she was. My only hope was that the following days didn’t break her.
CHAPTER 14
When the alarm went off, neither of us moved to turn off the blaring sound. We stared at each other, gathering up the strength to leave the bed. Knowing that as soon as the alarm was silent, we had to get ready.
She sighed and curled against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, wishing I could keep her there—that she didn’t have to go through what was coming.
The volume of the alarm grew to an almost deafening level, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I slapped down on the snooze button to shut it up.
Five more minutes.
I went back to my position of trying to pull her inside me. When time was up, we reluctantly separated and moved to get up.
A low pressure front had come through overnight, and we both groaned in pain. The first steps were rough—my leg didn’t want to move right. Another reminder of what lay beneath the scars all over my body. Lila was the same, and her hand covered the opposite wrist.
My whole body ached and was stiff. Mornings like this sucked and made an already difficult day that much worse.
We showered and got ready, our pace slower than normal.
Lila’s eyes were clouded and unfocused. She wasn’t ready for today, but she never would be. The day was a means to the end, and I’d be there, helping her get through it as best as the court would allow. Being a witness meant we’d be separated, testifying without each other in the room.
It was going to be a shit day, but we’d get through it together.
That was, if my ass didn’t end up in jail for killing the fucker.
My blood still boiled over it, and the image burned in my mind. I honestly wasn’t sure I could keep myself in check and the beast on a leash. Everything in my being wanted to beat the shit out of him, to break every bone in his body for everything he’d ever done to her.
I glanced over at her. The light was gone from her—she was just a shell—much like when we first met. Her hands shook as she pulled a shirt from its hanger and slipped it on. I stepped forward and helped her get it over her head, smoothing it down her waist.
“I can’t do this,” she said, looking up at me.
She was so afraid and so lost.
One of my hands sat on her waist while the other cupped her cheek. “You can. You’re stronger. They can’t hurt you. Don’t let fears bring you down.”
“What if my father is there? Bad enough I have to tell an entire court room what they did to me, reliving it over and over again as they dig in deep. Having to have my past brought up to all those people. But to deal with him as well?”
“I’ll be with you.”
She shook her head. “No, you won’t. You’ll be in another room. Cut off.”
“No, not cut off. It’ll only be a few feet and some walls between us, but I’ll be there. You’ll be able to feel me.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and I wiped it away. “I need to be able to touch you. How can I get through this day without you?”
“By remembering that by testifying, you’re sealing his fate. You’ll be able to say the words, knowing I’m not far away and that there are witnesses and a bailiff there to protect you from him.”
She sniffed and drew in a shuddered breath, then nodded.
We finished getting ready and headed out. The drive was silent and a bit unnerving with how locked down Lila was. I reached out and took her hand in mine. Her fingers twined with mine, a long breath coming from her as she relaxed, even if it was just a little.
Her grip tightened as we walked up to the courthouse—a death grip of fear. Heading down the hall, we saw Lawrence, the prosecutor, standing in front of the courtroom, with Noah next to him.
Lawrence looked between us and settled on Lila. “Are you ready?”
She shook her head, her voice soft and small. “No, but I never will be.”
He pursed his lips and nodded, then ushered us in.
She reached out and grabbed Noah’s hand. He stepped forward, giving her a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I know. But it will get so much better after this. I promise.”
She nodded, and we moved to find our seats.
I hated that we had to be at the courthouse so early, and hated that we spent the morning doing nothing but waiting as the jury was selected. Waiting to get the damn show on the road and get this the fuck over with so we could move on.
One less threat to deal with. One less monster on the streets.
There was no doubt in my mind he would go to prison. What I did waver on was if we could get all the major felony charges. Not getting one could mean around five or more years less on his sentence.
I didn’t even get to see the cleaned-up version of Adam. A bailiff came for me. I wrapped Lila in my arms and kissed her hard.