“I didn’t.”
“Then how? I’ve been with you this whole time.”
“Mom had it all waiting in the wings with her travel agent for me. When we were leaving the courthouse she called her, and the agent texted me our flight information.”
“We’re going to Disneyworld? Now?”
I laughed, unable to keep it in any longer. “Yes, we’re going to Disneyworld.”
Her eyes widened and she bounced in her seat. “Oh, my God! We’re going to Disneyworld!”
“Now, that is the reaction I was expecting.”
She jumped up. “We need to get packed!”
We headed home and began to pack like maniacs on the run. I pulled out a few pairs of shorts and t-shirts and threw them in a small suitcase. Lila was flipping clothes everywhere into a larger suitcase. She was a planner, so the sudden need to pack was driving her a little insane and she was over-packing.
“How long will we be there?” She stared down at the pile of sundresses she pulled from the closet.
I pulled out my phone and looked over the information again. “We fly back on Sunday, so three full days.”
After sorting through the stack, she picked two and left the rest in the middle of our bed. She then went through the clothes she’d already accumulated and weeded some out, making the mess on the bed bigger.
Half an hour later, we were packed and ready to go. Well, Lila was still going through a mental list to make sure she remembered everything.
“Did we leave the oven on?” she asked as we were driving to the airport.
I quirked my brow at her. “Were you using it any time this week?”
She blinked at me. “No.”
“Then I’d say no.”
She turned back to the front and looked out the window as we neared our destination. I took her hand in mine and kissed her fingers.
“Relax. That’s the point of these days off. We’ve just been through the gauntlet and won. Adam’s in jail. It’s time to celebrate.”
She let out a hard breath and sank back into the seat.
“He’s really going to jail.”
“Yes, he is.”
Her lips twitched up and grew into a smile that lit up her eyes. Nothing but happiness.
A few hours later, we checked into the Grand Floridian. It was an iconic, out of time hotel. With as late as it was when we finally got there, and with as long of a day it’d been, we ordered room service for dinner.
We were unpacking, going over the park information, when Lila threw open the curtains and looked out. Her eyes widened as she stared out at the park in the distance and the castle lit up in the middle. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“You know what else we could do while we’re here?” I kissed her neck and ground my hips against her ass.
She relaxed back into me and let out a contented sigh. “I think I know where you’re going with this.”
“Yeah, where’s that?” I nipped at her skin.
“Baby making practice.”
I pulled back. “Practice?”
She nodded. “Practice makes perfect.”
“Well, it’s always perfect, but why are you calling it practice? You’re not on birth control anymore, right?”
“No, I’m not.”
I turned her in my arms. “Am I pressuring you?” She was silent as she looked back at me. “Lila, do you want to have kids?”
Her brow scrunched and she let out a hard breath.
Fuck.
I held my breath, waiting. I couldn’t explain my want—need—for a baby. It was visceral. Every part of me wanted a family with her, as if it was an attempt to get even closer to her. I wanted to see the mix of her and me in our child.
Men didn’t have a biological clock, but it felt like I did. Maybe it was because I was someone new, who understood better than the old me how important and special family was. Grace was the driver then, and now it was me. I’d wanted kids then, wanted the American dream—and more than to appease Grace—but with Lila it was more than all that.
“It’s not that I don’t want them, it’s that it scares me to death. Would I love to bring our children here? Yes. I want the family experiences I’ve always seen but never had.” She leaned forward and rested her head on my chest. “But I can’t shake the fear that I’ll fuck up, be a terrible mother. I…I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I can hold a baby, because I never have.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and chuckled, the tension leaving me as I pulled her closer.
“Honeybear, I know it’s scary, but it’s impossible for you to be a terrible mother.”
“You don’t know that.”
I tilted her head up so I could look into her eyes. “Yes, I do. You’ve changed before my eyes, but your capacity to love has only grown.” She let out a shaky breath, and I turned her so we could both look out the window again. “Look out there, out at the castle that has you entranced.” I looked down to make sure she was, and she was locked on, her hand reaching out and settling on the window. “Now imagine coming back here in five years and sharing it with our little girl. Imagine her face lighting up.”
Lila’s voice was barely a whisper. “Anna.”
My heart stopped and a sense of déjà vu took hold.
Anna.
Flashes of a dream, a nightmare long ago, came back to me. The smiling face of a little girl who called me Daddy.
I swallowed hard. “That’s a beautiful name.”
“It was my mom’s.”
I kissed her temple. “I think it’s a great name for our little girl.”
She sniffed and nodded. “I think so, too.” She tilted her head up and kissed my jaw. Her lips continued up my jaw, nipping as she went. “Let’s make our baby girl.”
I growled and took her mouth with mine. “I love you.”
CHAPTER 17
Lila was not the woman I knew. No, the woman before me was a little girl—wide-eyed, smiling, full of bouncing, hyper energy and wonder.
We were starting out our trip in the Magic Kingdom bright and early. Her attention was all over the place as she took in Main Street. When we were almost to the end, I pulled the map from my back pocket.
I didn’t even get to ask where she wanted to go before she nearly tugged my arm out of the socket and I tripped over my feet, almost face-planting onto the stone below. Her pace was almost a run, her gaze fixed on one thing in front of her. She was practically dragging me on her quest.
When I looked up, I saw what had her so excited—Cinderella’s Castle. It was the iconic Disney view. She blew past people, only to stop in front of it and stare. I wrapped my arms around her waist and stood behind her, cradling her against my chest.
“It’s so pretty.” Her voice was low, reverent almost.
I nodded against her shoulder. It was what had given me the idea in the first place—the Cinderella story. Lila mentioned in the past how it was her favorite growing up. It wasn’t until we were standing in front of it that I was reminded how much she lost out on growing up with her father.
We probably stood there for a half an hour, Lila soaking it in, memorizing every detail. The chiming of a bell seemed to wake her up and remind her where we were. She straightened and grabbed my hand before turning and taking off again.
“Someone excited?” I laughed as I took an extra step to catch up. Her head was bouncing around everywhere, trying to take everything in at once, but I wondered if she could absorb anything with as fast as she was going.
She slowed and gave me a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, Honeybear, don’t be sorry. Be happy.”
“I am happy.” She pulled me close for a quick kiss. “You have no idea what this means to me.”