“While you were away getting yours I was here getting mine, or as the American song says, you should have been concerned about who was making love to your old lady while you were out making love.” (This line brings the house down.)
“Eva, you’ve been listening to those nigger records. I’m going to take them away from you.” (A huge, blond, blue-eyed chauffeur approaches the front from the audience. Eva turns to him.)
“Are you ready, Otto?” (Otto nods.)
Hitler says, “Eva, what is the meaning of this?” (Stunned, Hitler turns to the priest, who shrugs his shoulders.) “I’m going to get married all right, but not to you. I’m marrying Otto,” Eva says, closing her eyes and bobbing her leg in defiance. (The priest sneaks a glance at her legs.)
“You and him!!” To Otto: “Otto, you’re a loyal German, I need you.”
“He’s not German, he’s Jewish.” (The audience goes wild.) “A better man than you will ever be.” The priest says, “But he has blue eyes, and an Aryan nose.”
“Many Jews have such features,” Eva says. “Besides, I decided, why should I have a half-breed when I can have the real thing.” (Eva removes a revolver from the dressing table drawer. Hitler and the priest do a double take and take a few steps backward.) “My own private, intimate gun, where — what are you doing?” Hitler says.
“I went through your coat pocket. That’s where I found the names and telephone numbers of Christian women you’ve been screwing all over Europe. Now you two get on your knees. Get their guns, Otto.” (Delighted, the audience applauds. Otto goes over and takes Hitler’s gun.)
“Please don’t shoot. Why, I’m the savior of the German nation, the German nation is like…well…a bride to me.”
“And so you treated her like your other women. Destroyed her because she couldn’t measure up to your mother.” (Otto grins.) She fires shots into Hitler, after each one reciting a specific crime. “This is for tortured France. This is for ravished Poland. This is for maimed Czechoslovakia. This is for Mother Russia. This is for all of the women you’ve ruined…my sisters.” (The audience is on its feet applauding, hooting, cheering, and the two women sharing a table with Ball stare at Ball, menacingly. Come to think of it, he’s the only man in attendance.)
“Please don’t shoot me,” the priest says. “It was his fault. He made me do it. He made all of us follow him. He swayed us with his brilliant oratory and mesmerized us with pageants and fireworks, he somehow managed to tap into our collective un—” (Eva kills the priest with one shot.)
“Go warm up the car, Otto, I’ll be right with you.” (Otto exits. Eva walks over to where a fur coat is hanging and removes it. She puts the coat over her slip and picks up a packed suitcase. She pauses. She puts it down. She places the gun in the hand of Hitler’s corpse. She goes to the dresser and picks up a lighter. She pours some of the fluid on Hitler’s body. She throws a match and flames begin to cover his body. She walks over and removes Hitler’s mother Klara’s picture from the wall, and throws it to the floor where it crashes. She calmly walks offstage as the audience goes nuts.)
20
Ball decided to get out before the crush. He walked down the deserted halls until he came to Becky’s office. The door was open. He decided to sit down at Ickey’s desk until it was time to return to the basement workshop. What? On top of Ickey’s desk was a newsletter called Lilith’s Gang, “a publication for feminists in the culture industry.” On the first page was THE SEX LIST! Next to each male writer’s name was a column that included the offense he’d committed. There were names of black as well as white male writers. He recognized some of the names. Floyd Salas. “Author of a poem entitled ‘Pussy Pussy Everywhere,’ in which he proposes that women lure men using furtive means.” John A. Williams. “Author of book entitled, ! Click Song, Tremonisha says that this book glorifies mixed marriages. Our people in subsidiary rights assure us that this book will never reach paperback.” Cecil Brown. “Said in an article that ‘there are as many female Hitlers as male Hitlers, and probably even more.’ If he ever returns to the States we’ll keep an eye on him.” Next to Randy Shank and Jake Brashford’s names was written “incorrigible.” “Shank we understand is having hard times, but it will take time to reduce Brashford’s reputation since he is supported by many aging white males of the modernist persuasion. They still have power, but within ten years most of them will be dead.” He scanned the list for his name. Ian Ball. “Has shown improvement after that terribly sexist Suzanna. He’s also a southerner and is not as bitter and as paranoid about women as some of his northern soul brothers. With this issue we’re removing him from the sex list mainly as a result of Tremonisha’s recommendation.” Ball almost leaped out of Ickey’s chair, he was so happy. If he had been close to Tremonisha at that moment he would have hugged and kissed her.
He heard voices coming down the hall. Eva’s Honeymoon must have been almost over. He opened the door to Becky’s office part of the way, to see who was approaching. The old lady was being helped down the hall by her chauffeur. If the two had looked toward Becky’s office they would have seen a lone gray eye staring at them.
“I hope, madame, that this will be your last exercise in folly,” the chauffeur said.
“Oh, don’t be angry with me, Otto,” she said, patting the arm that was aiding her. “I’ve always wanted the world to know. To know my side. What really happened.”
“But—”
“Don’t worry, they can’t trace it to me.”
“It’s just dangerous, madame, don’t you think?”
“We’ve been together for forty years now. You can trust me. I know that you couldn’t trust the others, but you can trust me. Trust me, Otto. This will be the last of my creative efforts. I promise. I just couldn’t resist the temptation to dance on the grave of that son of a bitch. It’s been forty years.” They walked past where Ball was standing behind the door. When the coast was clear he headed down the stairs toward the basement where his workshop was probably ending. He stood outside the door, and heard Ham Hill’s defense lawyer summing up the defense for the jury.
“Something is wrong with Cora Mae. You see, white people can’t own you anymore, so they try to own you with their eyes. They can’t punch you anymore without getting harmed, so they try to punch you with their eyes. They try to control you. Nigger, what are you doing here, we don’t want you here, they are saying to you with their eyes. Years ago it was the lynch rope. Now it’s the rude stare. They look at you in airports, in restaurants. They stare at you like they’re not used to anything.” He could see some of the black women on the jury following Ball’s directions (“as she is saying this the black jury members nod their approval”). “They’ve been accusing the blacks and Jews of owning the evil eye when they are the ones with the evil in their eyes. So here is this young boy, Ham Hill, minding his own business when this…this…vixen intrudes upon his space, glares at him with lust in her eyes, and when he pays no attention accuses him of reckless eyeballing, causing her husband and his friends to lynch the lad until he is dead.” He could hear Cora Mae yell out, “No. It’s not true.”
“And twenty years after this child has been murdered, she comes along and says that what he did to her was similar to what her husband and that lynch mob did to Ham Hill. Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, isn’t that the most air-headed thing you ever heard of?” Cora’s attorney says, “I object, your honor.” While the audience laughed, Ball walked away from the door and got a drink from the bartender, who was dressed in white jacket, black bow tie. He asked for a gin and tonic.