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“You remember Samantha,” Christos offered.

Tiffany narrowed one eye like a nervous ferret before turning her nose up at me. “I didn’t recognize her all dressed up.”

Her worker bees giggled.

As usual, Tiffany projected the air of having everything you wished you had but didn’t. And yet, for once it was the other way around. I knew how badly Tiffany wanted Christos, but he was with me, not her.

I wanted to spin in circles while doing the happy dance, but I wasn’t a bitch like Tiffany. So I did the happy dance in my head, and made a mental note to do the real thing later in the privacy of my apartment, with Christos.

We could happy dance together.

Ignoring the fact that Tiffany was such a Queen Bee-otch that she still wouldn’t acknowledge me like a polite human being, I offered my hand for her to shake. “Good to see you, Tiffany,” I smiled. I wouldn’t stoop like she had.

Tiffany shook my hand absently, not even looking me in the eye. Her hand slid free from mine after barely a shake.

Whatever.

Resting her hands on her hips, Tiffany surveyed the boat behind her. “Well, I did say to bring whoever you wanted.” She turned back to Christos and smiled. “We can always use more help in the kitchen.”

Tiffany’s hobot henchwomen giggled.

I really needed to carry a bigger handbag on outings like this. I couldn’t fit a bazooka in my little clutch, and you never knew when you needed to blow some bitch’s head off on short notice.

“Welcome aboard, Christos,” Tiffany said. “Good to see you again, Jake. Make yourselves at home.” She smiled at Christos and Jake in turn, but ignored Romeo, Kamiko, Madison, and myself.

How did Tiffany manage to spoil everything with the greatest of ease? It would take an act of heroism for me to enjoy New Year’s Eve at this rate.

For a second, I considered asking Christos to take us elsewhere. The six of us could have fun wherever we went. I glanced at Madison, not sure what to do.

Mads lifted a compassionate eyebrow and nodded toward the parking lot with a questioning look. She knew from experience how annoying Tiffany could be.

Sadly, I realized if we left, it would be giving in to Tiffany’s aloof bullying. I had done enough of that in my life already.

Emo. Goth. Sorceress. Suicide Watch…

 I noticed Romeo and Kamiko marveling at the boat.

“Wow, this thing is huge,” Romeo gawked. “I can’t wait to see the inside.”

“It looks like a frickin’ spaceship!” Kamiko whispered enviously.

Neither of them knew how consistently annoying Tiffany could be. They were ready to have fun tonight. No need to disappoint them. I could make this work, if I put my mind to it. Maybe Tiffany would play nice the whole trip and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

Bitch. Slut. Whore…

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to let my demons get to me. Screw them!

“Come on, you guys,” I said confidently to the gang. This was a New Year’s Eve yacht trip after all, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what awaited us.

The six of us walked up the ramp together, Jake and Christos trailing at the rear.

When we were out of Tiffany’s earshot, Madison leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “Is it just me, or does the perfume Tiff the Quiff is wearing tonight make her smell like mouse farts?”

I belted out laughter so hard, I would’ve fallen off the ramp and into the water, if not for the handrailing. I grabbed it for support.

I saw Tiffany whip around and give the group of us a dirty look.

Romeo, ever perceptive, had overheard Madison’s remark, and leaned against me while he quietly cackled, “I thought Tiffany smelled a bit musty.”

I exchanged a smile with Romeo.

Romeo’s eyes twinkled with good humor. “You know Tiffany has a poochy cooch.”

I was confused. “What, like a pouch?”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s where she hides the mice. Down below. I bet it’s a regular mouse sanctuary in there.”

I broke into fresh laughter.

Kamiko had overheard too, and stifled her own giggles.

“Sam, ignore Tiffany,” Madison encouraged. “Maybe we can knock her over the side when we’re in international waters. No one will ever know.” She grinned archly.

Kamiko pretended to frown. “Wouldn’t that be polluting the environment?”

“I won’t tell, if you won’t,” Romeo winked.

“Thanks, guys,” I said. “I needed that.” I straightened up and climbed the rest of the ramp, surrounded by the bestest friends a girl could have.

I’d been on rowboats and maybe a few canoes. But nothing like this. There were probably another thirty people on board. The cabin on the main deck literally had a living room, dining room, and kitchen with a full-size stainless-steel refrigerator. A narrow flight of steps led to a second story above and a spiral staircase led to another level below. I’d never been on a three-story boat before. Tiffany hadn’t been exaggerating.

“This place is nicer than my parents’ house,” Madison marveled.

“I know, right?” Romeo said. “I think it’s bigger than my parents’ house.”

SAMANTHA

When everyone was on board, two crewmen dressed in fancy black slacks and vests over their white long-sleeve button-down shirts threw some ropes onto the dock. I felt engines rumbling softly beneath my feet as the yacht pulled away from the pier and motored out of the marina.

Christos and Jake knew quite a few of Tiffany’s friends and seemed totally in their element. They were sucked into the center of the crowd in the main cabin.

Within seconds, every woman in the room had turned to focus on Christos. His undeniable beauty drew their attention like a magnet. They couldn’t look away from his mesmerizing presence. Christos seemed oblivious as he chatted with Jake and the other guys. He’d probably grown numb to this kind of attention after years of it.

From afar, I watched this process unfold for several minutes. The women all primped and preened unconsciously, fluffing their hair, adjusting their dresses to maximum effect, shifting their body language to point their pelvises at Christos, and shoving out their chests.

When Christos chuckled at a random joke, flashing his perfect teeth and panty-dropping smile, several women’s eyes goggled and their jaws went slack. When Christos ran his hand through his perfectly mussed hair, other women literally clutched their chests, ready to swoon.

Did they even know they were doing it? Somehow I doubted it. Who wanted to admit that a mere human male, no matter how perfect a specimen he was, could turn them from young women into drooling idiots in heat?

I was torn between embarrassment for all of womankind, and sympathy. Heck, even the men were fawning. Everyone was susceptible. With the exception of Jake, who was almost as handsome as Christos, the other men were smitten, all of them crushing on Christos, in the throes of blatant bromances.

To be fair, I was no more able to resist Christos’ physical allure than anyone else. I was hooked. Addicted. Jealousy swam up my throat and threatened to choke me.

Suddenly, Christos glanced at me and cocked his head, throwing his dimpled smile directly at me. He blew me an air kiss.

“That was for me,” Romeo joked.

I smirked at Romeo. “Keep your air lips off my man, you horny bitch,” I joked, then blew a kiss back to Christos.

He mimed leaning up to catch it before returning to conversation with Jake and some other bitches, I mean, ladies.

I reminded myself that Christos was with me. Not them. Looking at him, at my man, I suddenly felt greedy and desperate and horny and proud, all at the same time. Every woman in the room wanted what I had, but Christos was mine, all mine.