His emotional scars were healing as well. Hudson had been more open with her since the conversation on the couch the night before their wedding. He was still hesitant to talk about his past, but little by little he was sharing details of his childhood, both the happy and the sad. Nick had even been able to convince him to give a few sessions of therapy a try. Hudson grumbled about having his head shrunk, but Allie could already tell the burden he carried had lessened. Of course some of that had to do with how Nick was doing. Six months of sobriety had done wonders for him. Not only was he holding down his job at the coffee shop, but he was even being considered for a management position. Hudson had asked him numerous times to join him at Chase Industries, but Nick insisted he had to take responsibility for his own life. Allie imagined the two brothers would eventually end up in the same building, but she respected the fact that Nick wanted to do it on his own terms. When the time came, he would no doubt insist on starting at the bottom, and she would no doubt have to convince Hudson to go along with the idea, but in the end they would be just fine.
Allie wondered if Nick’s presence would be enough incentive to persuade Harper to join her at Ingram headquarters as well. While Allie continued to work closely with the foundation, she missed day-to-day contact with her best friend. Now that Allie was married and Harper was spending nearly every night with Nick, their girl time was far less frequent. Her best friend and her brother-in-law had become fairly serious over the past three months, and even though their relationship thrilled Allie to no end, she still missed their chats over cocktails at Tavern or a salad at her desk. These days Harper was a homebody, opting for a quiet night of Netflix with Nick and Harley over a night out with just about anyone else.
Allie closed her eyes again and a smile stretched across her face at the thought of her canine “niece.” Little Harley had not only been a welcome addition to the family, she’d taken quite a liking to her Uncle Hudson. Despite his best efforts to keep the Yorkie at arm’s length, Harley always managed to find her way onto Hudson’s lap. He would roll his eyes and pet her as though she were hazardous material, but deep down Allie knew Hudson not only liked the effect the tiny dog had on Nick, but that he’d grown fond of her as well. He might refer to her as a barking squirrel or curse about a chewed up shoe, but no amount of protesting could offset the secret stash of doggy treats she had discovered in his desk drawer.
A shadow crossed Allie’s face and water dripped onto her bare stomach. She opened her eyes to see Hudson looming over her, his body glistening in the late afternoon sun, and her smile widened.
He plucked the tiny headphones from her ears. “That’s quite a satisfied grin, Mrs. Chase.”
The thick cushion dipped as he climbed onto the daybed. He pressed his lips to her stomach, licking a bead of water that rolled across her skin, and then a heartbeat later sealed his mouth over hers, kissing her passionately. As if he had to. As if the fifteen minutes without touching her had been excruciating. And as if he hadn’t had her in every way possible the night before.
Allie moaned, and when her lips parted, his tongue thrust into her mouth, stroking hers with lush, velvety strokes. She craved her husband constantly, but when he was like this, his lust for her so raw and untamed, it made every cell in her body come alive.
“So what caused that look on your face?” he asked when he finally broke their kiss.
“Huh?” she asked, her senses momentarily stunned. “Oh, um, just thinking about Harley.”
His lips brushed across her cheek. The stubble on his jaw brought with it a reminder of how it felt between her thighs, and a jolt of pleasure shot through her core.
“Your nearly naked husband is kissing you and your mind is on a barking squirrel? I see.”
“Not now, before.” She giggled as his lips found her neck. “And more the way my nearly naked husband is with said squirrel. I see right through you, Chase. You enjoy having her around.”
He made a noise that was more grunt than agreement as his mouth moved across her collarbone. “She’s good for Nick, who I’m sure has let her have the run of the penthouse while we’re gone.”
Nick and Harper made good use of the third floor when she and Hudson were out of town. Despite their best efforts to train and clean up after Harley, there always seemed to be one puppy puddle left behind. One that Hudson would undoubtedly discover with his bare foot.
“Tell the redhead to hurry up and house-break the damn thing.” He chuckled against Allie’s skin. “And while you’re at it, tell her to do the same for Nick.”
Allie rolled her eyes, though she knew he couldn’t see. “Say what you want, but you’re very sweet with Harley.” Her voice grew serious. “You’ll make a great father.”
Hudson stilled. After a beat he lifted his head, and when his eyes met hers they conveyed a look that was a mixture of loving concern and sheer panic. “Are you . . .” He swallowed hard.
“Oh God, no,” she said, realizing she had inadvertently given him the impression she was pregnant.
Hudson rolled onto his back and exhaled. She hadn’t meant to scare him, and she could certainly understand his relief from a timing perspective. They hadn’t been together that long and most of that time had been spent dealing with situations far beyond those any normal couple would face. Wanting time to enjoy each other was understandable; desirable even.
But then again, they weren’t teenagers anymore. And they were married. Would it really have been so bad if she had been pregnant? The image of a little boy with Hudson’s blue eyes and dark wavy hair filled her mind, and a warm sensation washed over her before settling right in her belly. She hadn’t thought even for a moment that she might be pregnant, nor was she ready to be a mother just yet, but she couldn’t deny the twinge of disappointment she felt over not carrying Hudson’s baby. More than that, she couldn’t deny the concern she felt over the contrast in their reactions.
She gazed across the chaise at her husband, his arm resting across his eyes, and her heart sank. They hadn’t really discussed the topic of children before they got married. Hell, they hadn’t discussed marriage before they got married.
Allie shifted to her side and propped herself up on one elbow. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Just took me by surprise. Hadn’t really considered the possibility.”
“Well, there’s always the possibility, even when you’re taking precautions.” She gave a small laugh. “And we do tend to practice quite often.” Her lame joke earned no reaction, causing her even greater concern. She took a deep breath, and when she spoke, her voice was small. “I know we married in a rush, Hudson. And not under the best circumstances.” Her throat tightened. “If you’re having second thoughts about . . .” She stopped talking, unwilling or unable to finish the sentence.
Hudson lifted his arm. In one swift move he rolled her beneath him. “Don’t ever say that again. Don’t even think it.” He bore his weight on his elbows so he could look into her eyes. The intensity she saw there was rivaled only by the emphatic tone of his voice. “You’re my fucking world, Allie. The air I breathe. You are the love of my life. You were ten years ago, you are now, and you always will be. Forever.”
“But you were so relieved—”
He shook his head. “You caught me off guard, that’s all. Of course I want children with you. Do you have any idea what it does to me to think of my child growing inside you?” He reached between them and his fingers brushed her stomach, sending goose bumps racing across her skin. “Christ Allie, I want that. But I’m a selfish bastard and I’m not ready to share you yet.”