She wished she could tell him about that, but her mind wouldn't hand across the words. It just kept bringing up pictures of Storm Water and Little Eye. Her children were maybe a day away. Maybe only hours, and maybe she hadn't been gone that long. Maybe Nail had waited for her. Maybe she was still his wife and could still call her children her own. Maybe Eric would understand that what had happened on the ship could not take the place of her being mother to her children.
The strength of that wish made her suck in a breath and Eric must have heard. He tore his gaze away from the hulk of the U-Kenai and swept it across the Walls.
"You know where we are? I've lost all my geography."
You lie, Eric. You're staring straight at the route to First City.
She didn't say that either. "We're on the Narroways side of the Dead Sea. That means the Lif marshes are only a few hours off. There'll be people about. Notouch," she added, waiting for his reaction.
He looked down at his naked hands. "Well, it should be an interesting time, considering that I'm as bare as a two-day-old baby."
"It may be for the best," Aria said. "It'll mean less outcry, especially if we can find my people. My mother is a force in the clan." She laughed once. "Some say she's a force of nature."
"I can believe that." There was a trace of humor in his voice, but none in his face. He was looking at his ship again.
"We'd better get going, Eric," she said as gently as she could manage. "Is it not true that if the Vitae come looking for us, they'll head straight for the U-Kenai?"
"Yes," he said hoarsely. "Cam. Stabilize the ship's condition as much as possible. Repair the comm lines and monitor transmissions. And"—he ran his hand through his hair—"wait until you hear from me."
"Yes, Sar," said the android. Its feet made swishing noises in the damp sand as it climbed back into the crater and aboard the fallen U-Kenai and released the catch holding the outer door back.
The door slid down and clanged shut
Eric turned quickly away. "I'm ready."
"Very well." Aria checked her pouch of stones to see that it was firmly knotted. She glanced at the walls again to pick her direction. "Let's go."
Side by side they tramped up the beach. They passed salt-crusted hollows filled with miniature versions of the sea. Nothing else broke up the landscape between the dunes and the waterline until Aria heard the faint gurgle of a running river.
Smiling with quiet satisfaction, she angled her path inland until they climbed over a stony dune. On the other side, the Eel Back ran swift and shallow into the Dead Sea. Its winding path cut a swath through the dunes and would, Aria knew, open into the sprawl of the Lif marshes.
She glanced over at Eric, who hadn't said a word since they'd started. She'd been content to let him be quiet, thinking he needed time to adjust to the fact that he had returned. Now she saw that his eyes seemed to be sunken, looking inside rather than out.
He's closed himself up as far as he can, she thought.
She touched his arm wordlessly and he gripped her hand. For a moment they stood like that. He didn't even look at her, he just took what strength she had to give. Did he know that her heart was wringing inside her? She did not want to be divorced, she did not want to lose her children, and yet she did not want to leave him.
At last, he let her go and she was able to shove her torn emotions down under a layer of practical considerations. She led him down the dune to the side of the Eel Back and they started walking in silence again.
With the influx of fresh water that the river provided, the landscape changed drastically. Before an hour had passed, they were wading through a mix of brown reeds and knee-high grass. When they stopped to share a packet of ration squares, they were able to rest in the shade of a cluster of Crooker trees. Aria gauged the spread of the river and the slant of the land.
"Past the next rise, we'll hit the marshes," she said, more to see if Eric would answer her than because she thought he needed her to tell him that. "Wish I knew how far into the season it was. We could be hitting Late Summer. The squatters shift around. Still, where there's fishing"—she nodded toward the river, now a broad, sluggish swath of green water between the reeds—"there'll be a clan."
"Aria." Eric spoke her name toward the river. "What did you mean when you said there would be less outcry from the Notouch because I had no hand marks?"
Aria felt her mouth twist. She searched for the words to explain.
"Since Narroways started making deals with the Skymen, the Teachers and the Royals have gotten…scared. They got this idea into their heads that the Skymen and the Heretics were using the Notouch to run their messages, hide them in the marshes, get them supplies and information, and the tike. It's true, of course, but they were paying for all of it with food and cloth, some coinage. We'll do anything for pay, everybody knows that…" She bit her tongue.
It's the air. Breathe the old comfortable air and get back the old comfortable thoughts.
"So," she went on, keeping her gaze on the way in front of her, "as the law says, what one Notouch does, all Notouch are responsible for. The Teachers have been laying down that law and exacting flesh-and-blood fines from us. It's made us wary. Almost nobody will go out of their way to do a Teacher a service now. Especially around Narroways.
"It's also true that around Narroways a Teacher or an upper rank might…become lost in a night storm more easily than in other places."
Eric said nothing and this time Aria felt no urge to break the silence. She just got to her feet and started walking again.
It turned out she'd read the landscape right. They topped the final hill and saw the vast, bowllike valley that held the Lif marshes. Aria had heard it speculated that, except for the Dead Sea, this was the largest stretch of open ground in the Realm. Even here, though, she could see the dark, comforting bulk of the World's Wall on every side.
She sighted on a cluster of Crooker trees. They'd need walking sticks for finding solid ground. She wished she still had her knife, or an ax would have been even better. However, there should be deadwood that hadn't floated off yet.
She picked up a stick and handed it across to Eric.
"Thank you," he said, and Aria decided that would be enough for now.
The day must have been a fairly dry one. Green flies and splinter-chasers glided low over the ponds. The earth under the grasses only squished a little. Aria smiled. One thing about the Skymen you had to like—their boots kept a person's feet good and dry.
They continued on. Eric seemed to be having trouble with his footing. He splashed and stumbled along behind her. Aria made herself ignore him. She had a feeling he would not welcome too much attention right now. Maybe it was nothing more complex than his having gotten used to the unnaturally straight and even flooring the Skymen had. Maybe it had nothing to do with the shattered look she had seen when she handed him the walking stick. But then, even before he'd left, he couldn't have done much stomping about in raw marsh. The Nobles were used to cobbled roads and wagons and ox-backs. Well, he'd have to get used to this. They wouldn't be within reach of such luxuries for a while.
Her harsh thoughts startled her a bit. Something was slipping from her. She was a Notouch again, low as she could be. As soon as they hit company, she'd have to fall back into the endless bent-back playacting and wheedling language. She realized she did not want Eric to see her like that.
Despite her gloomy thoughts, part of her could not help but relax. The air was warm enough. Her head sat firmly on her shoulders and her eyes could see clearly without burning in harsh, bare lights. She was using her own legs to get somewhere and, even better, she knew where she was going.