Elle hesitated as she thought the question through. “I want to be forgiven.”
Troy said nothing. He turned and walked in the opposite direction. Elle gasped, wondering if those would be the last words she’d ever say to him. Her eyes grew wet as he walked to the DJ’s booth. Confused, Elle watched as he leaned in and spoke into the DJ’s ear. The young man behind the booth nodded and Troy shook his hand.
Troy returned to Elle and they stood in awkward silence for a moment before he offered her his hand. Elle was confused, at first, but placed her fingertips in the palm of his hand and followed him to the dance floor. The familiar notes of “Here, There and Everywhere” filled the air. She stared at Troy in wonder.
“One last dance, Rigby?”
Slowly, they swayed as their song filled the air. A lump formed in Elle’s throat as she tried to imagine what else to say to Troy. Her mind was swirling and her heart was racing. She knew she was, ultimately, saying good-bye to one of the most important people in her life. The possibility of them remaining friends after reopening so many wounds was unlikely and she knew it. But, she was desperate for his forgiveness. As they danced in silence, she looked up at Troy, waiting for him to break the silence. Finally, he did.
“I forgive you,” Troy murmured, pulling Elle closer. “But only if you’ll forgive me.”
Elle pulled back, her eyes meeting his with confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“You’ve always been the girl who was just out of my reach.”
“That’s not true.”
“Just hear me out,” Troy insisted. “I knew it at the campsite, and the bar when we finally got together. Hell, I knew it when you walked down the aisle.”
“How could you think I didn’t love you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” Troy shook his head. “I know you loved me. But it wasn’t the same. Even today, I felt it . . .” His words trailed off.
“What do you mean?”
“All night, I watched you, even when you didn’t know I was paying attention. I saw the way you look at Kingston. You never looked at me like that, Rigby. Never.”
Elle’s eyes filled with tears. “I never meant—I mean . . . I just . . .”
“It’s okay.” Troy smoothed her hair down before pressing his forehead to hers. Together, still swaying to the music, they cried below the stars. “But I need you to forgive me. At every stage of our lives, I pushed you. At the time, I thought I was doing it for your own good, to make you realize how much you loved me and that we belonged together. But I get it now. I was fooling myself and doing my best to fool you, too.”
“Don’t apologize for loving me,” Elle whispered.
“I have to.” Troy shook his head. “I pushed too hard. I didn’t want to see the truth.”
Elle placed her hand on Troy’s cheek, brushing his olive skin with the tips of her fingers. “But you loved me just the same. Don’t apologize for that. I’m honored that you loved me, Troy. Honored.”
Troy cupped her face with his hands, and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. The last kiss they would ever share.
“Should I take you home?”
“After the song ends, okay? I want one last dance with you.”
And there, under the twinkling lights hanging above the dance floor, Elle and Troy finished the song, holding one another close, purging themselves of their mistakes, their anger, their pain.
And it was there, under those lights, that Elle was finally free.
Elle watched from her front porch as Troy climbed into his car and backed out of her driveway. She clutched her Golden Globe. The award was much heavier than she’d anticipated, just like the night on which she’d won it. The idea of never seeing Troy Saladino again was a painful one, but she knew a friendship couldn’t be forced. He needed to heal and move on. And so did she.
Elle watched his car’s taillights as they drifted away from her house. Quickly, she unlocked her door, placing the Globe on her mantel. Poor Linus was begging to go outside, so she slid open her back door, allowing him relief. She sent Luke a text while she waited.
By the time she changed out of her gown, and wrangled her warmest coat and favorite pair of fuzzy boots, there was still no text from Luke. She sent another.
When she reached her car, she checked her phone again. No replies. She drove to Luke’s new home in the Pacific Palisades. She rang his doorbell five times.
“Come on,” she muttered. “Be home, be home.”
Finally, after the sixth ring, she accepted he wasn’t. Suppressing the questions popping up in her brain wondering where he was, she opened his gate and retreated to his deck, making herself comfortable on the hammock until he returned.
The stars were bright, and as she stared up at the vast sky she continued to text the man she was crazy for, hoping he’d respond, hoping he’d come home, hoping she’d figure out the perfect thing to say to reclaim his love.
“Elle?” The bright sunlight pierced her eyelids as a warm hand pressed her cheek. The distinct smell of coffee permeated her senses. “Elle, baby, what are you doing here?”
Groggy and cold, Elle opened her eyes, blinking roughly at the merciless sun as it streamed down from the cloudless morning sky.
Then she remembered where she was. The memories came together like a brightly colored mosaic and she remembered everything. Now Luke was greeting her with a cup of coffee in hand and a worried expression affixed to his chiseled face. He perched himself next to her on the makeshift bed, sweat dripping from his brow. He must’ve just finished his morning run along the beach.
“I—I came to see you, after the party. I must’ve fallen asleep.”
“Did you ring the bell? I was here.” Luke’s brow wrinkled as she studied him.
“Yes, many times.” Elle rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and yawned. “Where were you?”
“Sorry, I guess I was out like a light. Or my ears were still ringing and couldn’t process the sound waves.” Luke chuckled and ran his fingers through his wavy locks as the morning breeze fought to press his unruly hair to his forehead. “Are you all right? Did something happen?”
“I—I’m fine.” Elle gripped the hammock with her hands, swinging her legs to land on the wooden deck. She was now sitting shoulder to shoulder with Luke and her heart began to pound. She couldn’t ignore the voice screaming it was too late. That voice poisoned her past with Troy. She was constantly questioning herself and acting out of fear. She couldn’t do that with Luke and was determined to finally silence that horrible voice for good. She breathed in, preparing to profess her love to Luke. She also knew he deserved a sincere apology for the way she had handled herself since Troy reentered her life.
“Coffee?” Luke offered her his cup. Elle took a sip of the steaming, slightly bitter yet sweet drink of the gods. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the soothing sip, knowing it would help her to organize her thoughts properly. She stole one last sip before handing the cup back to Luke.
“I said good-bye to him,” Elle said, searching Luke’s expression for a response, but his face was guarded. Elle knew she needed to elaborate. “For good.”
The corner of his mouth perked into a half smile. “Is that so?”
“Yes. This is where I belong.”
Luke’s furrowed brow returned, causing a crease to form above his nose. Elle hated that she’d put him through so much with her indecision.
“At first, when you didn’t answer your door, my gut reaction was to go home, to chicken out, to sleep it off and see you at work. But then I remembered what you said.”