I dug my keys out of my bag, but the front door opened before I needed to use them. My dad stood in the doorway and beamed with pride at seeing me return. Something must be wrong. Dad never looked at me like that. He would never say as much, but he didn’t actually like having me at home. I got in his way. The last time I’d come back he’d completely forgotten about it and gone on a golfing holiday to Italy with some friends.
“Victoria, welcome home,” he said with feigned enthusiasm.
It was then I noticed the woman standing behind him. A blonde lady, with a generous bosom, and an even more generous helping of make up. My first thought was that she looked like a TV personality. My second thought was that I recognized her. I was right on both counts, although I mainly knew her face from books not television.
The woman smiled at me and held out her hand. “Hello Victoria, I’m Sheri Ramsden.”
“I know who you are, Ms. Ramsden,” I replied, shaking her hand excitedly. “I’m a big fan.” Sheri was a famous chef and I had one of her cookbooks in my bag right now. I just barely resisted the temptation to ask for her autograph until I knew why she was here.
Sheri looked over my shoulder and her face turned sour. “There you are,” she said sternly. “Where have you been?”
I looked over and saw Caiden standing there openly holding his box of condoms.
“Don’t panic, I’m here now,” Caiden said calmly, walking into my house as if he owned the place. “So what was it you wanted to talk about? This had better be important, Mum.”
Dad ushered us all inside and told Caiden and I to go and sit in the lounge. I didn’t intend to be alone in the same room as him, but when Sheri walked in as well I decided it would be safe to follow.
Dad went to make some cups of tea for everyone, which immediately put me on edge. Dad was acting far too nice; he never made tea, even when we had guests. When Mum was around he would tell her to do it and now that she no longer lived with us he would usually have me make the drinks.
Sheri sat down on the middle of the sofa, but didn’t look entirely comfortable. She wouldn’t look at either Caiden or me and she kept picking at her fingers as if nervous.
I sat down in the armchair that used to be Mum’s favourite seat and Caiden sat on the ottoman. He immediately pulled out his phone and began typing away as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Surely he must be wondering what was going on as well? Or did he already know?
I’d grown up in this house yet right now I felt like a stranger, especially with Sheri sat to my left. I’d admired her ever since I started taking cooking seriously and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I wanted to be like her one day. On any other occasion I would be delighted to have her in my home, but Caiden had ruined that for me.
He didn’t even have the decency to take his shoes off before coming inside. How could he be Sheri’s son? Sheri always looked immaculately dressed and, while that was sometimes for the camera, she still carried an air of sophistication about her that was the polar opposite from the debauched way Caiden looked and dressed.
In addition to the tattoo on the back of his neck, I could also see the ones going down his entire right arm all the way to the wrist. I thought back to when I had first seen him naked and remembered that the arm tattoo was connected to the one on his neck. He also had a tattoo on his right calf although that was covered by his jeans at the moment.
Next to Caiden on the ottoman was Caiden’s large box of condoms that he had just thrown down there as if it was just a pack of gum. We’d only had sex a week ago and I distinctly remembered there had been at least five condoms left in the packet when I bailed from the hotel in the morning. Obviously he hadn’t been lying when he said I didn’t keep him satisfied.
I felt a twinge of jealousy in my chest as I pictured him with other women. I didn’t care about the ones before me. I’d picked him solely because he had experience with other women. Well, that and the biceps that my eyes couldn’t look away from. And the muscular back. And the messy, dishevelled hair that just begged for me to run my hands through it. Just those things.
I ached as I pictured other girls pulling his hair as they fucked. In my head, I heard Caiden tell them how much better they were than me. He probably screwed them in all sorts of positions we never got to like ‘doggy style’ and… other ones. They’d probably given him head too.
Why hadn’t I given him a blow job? I’d been so selfish. No wonder he had to get his satisfaction elsewhere after me. I remembered going down towards his penis and seeing it close up after we’d screwed. It was a good job I hadn’t seen it in its full glory before he put it inside me; I’d have chickened out and run a mile.
I’d heard the rumours of him being well-hung, but I hadn’t known what well-hung truly entailed. Say one thing about me, when I do things, I don’t do them in half measures. I didn’t lose my virginity to a fellow virgin with an average penis. I lost it with an experienced guy with a monster cock.
Finally Dad came back into the room carrying a tray with four cups of tea on it. I raised my eyebrows at my dad’s shoddy attempt at impressing his guests. He clearly still had no idea where the nice china was, so the four tea cups were all mismatched mugs of different shapes and sizes. He brought out some biscuits and encouraged Sheri and Caiden to dunk the biscuits in the tea “as is traditional in England.”
Dad had never dunked a biscuit in his life. If he had, he would have known that you don’t give Rich Tea biscuits to someone inexperienced with the art of dunking, which encompassed most Americans. That was just asking for a “Code Spoon” situation. At least let them get started on Hobnobs or Digestives as a practise run.
Fortunately Sheri rejected the offer of biscuits while Caiden just shoved one in his mouth without dunking. My father smiled awkwardly at him and sat down close to Sheri. Very close to Sheri as it turned out.
“Thank you both for coming today,” my father began. Was he speaking to Sheri and Caiden? Or me and Caiden? “As you have both no doubt noticed...” he trailed off as he caught sight of the box of condoms. Caiden just stared at my father as if it were the most normal thing in the world to plonk a box of condoms down in a stranger’s house. “As you have no doubt noticed, we have a big announcement to make here today.”
He was talking to Caiden and me. The big announcement was coming from Dad and Sheri. I might have been a virgin as of just seven days ago, but I wasn’t completely naive. Sheri’s knee was nearly touching my dad’s and the way they were angled towards each other meant I shouldn’t have been surprised by what I was about to hear.
“Sheri and I,” Dad said slowly, “have been spending a lot of time together recently and have grown rather fond of each other.”
Oh God, don’t say it. Don’t say it. I glanced over at Caiden, hoping to see him looking as horrified as I felt, but he just smiled at me. He knows what’s going on and he doesn’t care. He thinks it’s funny.
Sheri looked like she was about to speak next. The whole thing had clearly been rehearsed so that they could take turns. “Royston and I—” Sheri started, before Caiden interrupted.
“Your name’s Royston?” Caiden asked, incredulously. “Fucking hell.”
“Caiden,” Sheri snapped. “Watch your language. Royston and I,” she stared at Caiden, challenging him to make another comment, “are an item.”
“I asked Sheri to marry me,” Dad said, taking hold of Sheri’s hand. “Much to my surprise and delight, she has agreed to do me the honour of becoming my wife.”
“You’re getting married?” I asked. Even though I had predicted what my dad had been about to say, actually hearing the words leave his mouth had been a shock, and my words sounded unusual as I asked the obvious question.