The Simulation Hypothesis might be an accurate description of base reality or not. But like any other reframe, the truth probably doesn’t matter. What matters is that it seems to work for you or not.
The User Interface for Reality
We will never agree on the “true” nature of reality. But we might agree that some interpretations of reality make you happier than others. As I sit in Starbucks writing this chapter, I can see a valid argument for either optimism or pessimism about the current state of the world. I don’t know which filter is more accurate, but I do know one makes me feel better than the other. So I choose the happy-making one. Under either interpretation of reality, I act the same, taking normal precautions against the unknown.
A common view of reality assumes there is a solid layer of realness just below our feet, and all we’re doing is choosing which shoes to wear when we walk on it. This is compatible with how most people see the world. But it isn’t the only way.
The deeper—and potentially more useful—view of reality is that we author our reality as we go, so almost nothing is out of bounds. As I’ve said many times, I don’t claim that view of reality is the closest to true. All I know for sure is that people who act as though they can author their reality seem to get results that are hard to explain. I am one of them, and I have a few successful friends who see things the same way but don’t like to say so in public.
Usual Frame: Reality is objective.
Reframe: There might be an objective reality, but human brains don’t have access to it.
Is it crazy to imagine you can author reality itself, including the things outside your direct physical control? That’s a trick question. I made you think past the sale. The “sale” is the assumption that believing you can author your reality—and being wrong about it—is a bad thing. There is no evidence of that. Anecdotally, it looks the opposite, that thinking you can author your reality gives you good outcomes whether there is any underlying truth to it or not. The people with the least respect for our so-called reality are the ones changing it. Elon Musk is my go-to example once again. He specializes in making things happen that many experts think are impossible—in their realities. Most great innovators have a healthy disrespect for the impossible.
For the purposes of this book, I’m only asking you to consider the method of viewing reality as fully programmable—by you. To get the benefits from this approach, you do not need to believe you know the true nature of reality. That can remain a mystery. All I ask is that you be open to acting as though you can author it. See what happens. You might be surprised. That reframe looks like this.
Usual Frame: Reality is only subjective in terms of our opinions and preferences.
Reframe: We can treat all of reality as subjective and get a good outcome, as if we authored it ourselves.
I’ve talked in this book and in my other books about affirmations. The specific technique I use involves visualizing what you want and repeating it or writing it down fifteen times a day. There is nothing magic in the details of how you do it. It doesn’t matter how or when you do it or even how many times you repeat it. What matters is your intensity of focus on the desired outcome. I say that because in my experience the potential futures I could see most clearly for my own life seemed to be the futures that happened. I don’t know if that is because of causation or coincidence, but I choose to treat it as real.
My point is that one can live inside a fully subjective reality without penalty. I’m either authoring my reality or imagining I am. Either way, fully awesome.
I prefer permissive affirmations that allow lots of ways to succeed. For example, I would focus on wealth instead of a specific promotion, and I would ask for a good romantic life as opposed to a specific partner. Give yourself more than one way to win.
If you want to influence yourself or others—and in so doing author your own reality—you need to know what buttons to push on the user interface of the human brain. If you think brains operate on an operating system of rational thought, you are both wrong and probably frustrated at a world that appears to make no sense. If you take the hypnotist’s view that humans are irrational 90 percent of the time, you are ready to see the buttons on the user interface to reality.
And once you see the buttons, you control the game. (Or it can seem that way.) I’ll take you through the main persuasion buttons you need to push to get what you want.
Freedom
Humans love freedom more than pleasure and more than escape from pain. We will even sacrifice our lives for the benefit of other people’s freedom. If you want to understand why people do the things they do or you want to influence them, don’t forget this often-neglected dimension of the human psyche. Humans will often take freedom over money, even over love.
Nearly every decision increases or decreases the freedom of people involved. You might not see that as a key variable, and that’s my point. You should see it as a key variable because it tops most other concerns.
If you want to hire the best employees, make sure you emphasize how much freedom they will have. If you want the best marriage, make sure you offer freedom to each other, within reason. As I said in the Success Reframes chapter, if you want the best kind of job, pick one that gives you the most schedule flexibility.
Freedom is a huge button on the human interface, and it’s so easy to push. Consider it in every decision you make and remember to consider it when trying to persuade others.
Fear
Fear is the strongest anti-motivator for humans. We will do nearly anything to escape it. That’s why you should be on guard for manipulators who use fear to control you. And it’s why you should use fear to persuade when it’s ethical to do so. And by ethical, I mean you don’t need to lie to describe something frightening that needs to be addressed. If you have reason to believe something bad is going to happen, I would argue you have an obligation to use rational fear to warn those in harm’s way.
How powerful is the fear button when pressed? I believe it determines the selection of presidents in most American elections. Whoever pushes the fear message the hardest wins.
Novelty
The things that catch your attention and stick in your mind are the things that are different, weird, unexpected, or novel in some way. Novelty is the way good communicators grab your attention. They might, for example, curse in an inappropriate venue or include a slide in a slide deck that is wildly different from the rest. Or they might create an insulting nickname for a rival. That sort of thing.
Learn to insert novelty in your communications, and you can own any topic. But use it sparingly. Otherwise, it loses its power.
Repetition
Human rationality is so thin that repeating an obvious lie often enough will make the lie sound believable. That is the concept behind most advertising, politics, and propaganda. And it’s the easiest button to push if you want to influence. Simply find a message, deliver it, and repeat. But also be aware that it’s being used on you. Watch how often your decisions match what message you saw the most in advertisements or on the news. Once you understand how often repetition hijacks rational thought, you will see it everywhere.
Simplicity
Our brains are easily overwhelmed with details and complexity. When that happens, we don’t know how to make smart decisions. If you wish to influence someone to action, keep your arguments simple and your asks even more so. Simplicity works. Every detail you add after the minimum detracts from your influence.