You already knew corporations use the trick of associating things people like with their products and associating things people don’t like with their competitors. I’m suggesting you adopt their methods in the way you communicate. Stick to communication that is funny, interesting, useful, optimistic, and even inspirational. It makes you far more fun to be around. The people who are not lucky enough to read this book will communicate the tragic stuff to other people for you, at their own social expense.
Visualization
Whoever controls “the picture” usually wins the day. And by that, I mean what mental image comes to mind when the topic is discussed. The more vivid, the more persuasive. For example, the field of climate change was forever changed by the famous hockey-stick graph that predicted a slow warming period followed by a rapid uptick. Other images for climate change focused on dying polar bears and hurricane coverage. When images that powerful enter the debate, you can usually predict which direction the public will go. And they have.
Similarly, what citizens think of illegal immigration is influenced mostly by what pictures they have been exposed to, including the kind of “pictures” we concoct in our imaginations.
The power of this “button” on the user interface of reality is that there are often many variables at play, which makes it hard to know where things are heading. But if you focus on what visual pops to mind when the topic comes up, you can usually predict better than chance.
Do you remember when candidate Donald Trump labeled candidate Jeb Bush “Low-energy Jeb”? The moment you heard that reframe, you got a mental image of Bush barely able to shuffle across the room. There was no competing visual because “normal Jeb” was the same guy.
Many things are persuasive. But visual persuasion wins against almost everything but fear.
Okay, now you know the main buttons on the User Interface for Reality. Drop your antiquated notions of a rational world that only needs a bit more knowledge to make us all hold hands and get along. Instead, reframe life as a dashboard of persuasion buttons you can push as needed to persuade others—and to train your own brain to author your reality.
Chapter 8
How to Make Your Own Reframes
Now that you’ve been exposed to the reframes in this book, you’re ready to start making your own. You might want to do that to handle situations I didn’t cover or to tweak my examples for your specific situation. These five rules will get you started:
Reframes don’t need to be true or even logical.
Reframes only need to work.
You can quickly test reframes in your mind and body.
A reframe approaches a topic from a new perspective.
If the reframe creates an advantage, keep it.
A good way to brainstorm reframes is to imagine how the smartest and most aware people you know would approach a given situation. If you have a sense for how those people view the world, you can start seeing it through their eyes. For example, you can rely on some people to put a religious interpretation on events and others to cynically tell you to “follow the money.” Assemble an imaginary advisory board of people you know and then imagine them giving you advice on the topic. The advice you imagine is likely to include some reframes and even more likely to spark your own creativity.
Once you have a reframe candidate to test, see if it’s sticky. Does your mind automatically return to it? Do you find yourself repeating it in your mind or even aloud? If so, that’s a good start. It doesn’t mean the reframe will work, but it does tell you it’s sticky enough to rewire your brain with repetition. Next, you test it. If it isn’t effective, restart the brainstorming.
I’ve known for years how powerful reframes can be. I credit much of my success to their effectiveness. By now, you have experienced the power of some of the reframes in this book. You probably felt some of them as soon as you read them while dismissing others as not applicable to you. And that’s okay.
This is a good time to remind you that some reframes will feel right to you and others won’t work with your unique brain and personality. My only caution is that you might not be good at knowing which ones will work for you because reframes are often non-intuitive—and sometimes goofy—by design.
If you are reading this sentence, you are probably already an improved version of the person who started reading this book. Your software has been updated. You are reborn, bristling with skills and freed from your past.
The final reframe is you.
Chapter 9
Just the Reframes
Introduction Reframes
Usual Frame: Taking the dog for a walk and failing.
Reframe: Taking the dog for a sniff and succeeding.
Usual Frame: I have nothing to do. I am just standing here.
Reframe: Perfect time to practice proper breathing and posture.
Usual Frame: I am waiting in line, which is a waste of time.
Reframe: I have time to breathe properly.
Usual Frame: Alcohol is a beverage.
Reframe: Alcohol is poison.
Success Reframes
Usual Frame: My odds of success are low.
Reframe: Maybe I am bad at estimating the odds.
Usual Frame: I fail at 90 percent of the things I try.
Reframe: I only need to succeed 10 percent of the time.
Usual Frame: I want to do (something).
Reframe: I have decided to do (something).
Usual Frame: Manage your time.
Reframe: Manage your energy.
Usual Frame: Your job is what your boss tells you it is.
Reframe: Your job is to get a better job.
Usual Frame: I am bored with life.
Reframe: I am not embarrassing myself enough.
Usual Frame: Embarrassment is something to be avoided.
Reframe: Embarrassment is an investment.
Usual Frame: Being wrong is embarrassing and should be avoided.
Reframe: Fear of embarrassment forces you to be wrong.
Usual Frame: The effort is so big and daunting I can’t even start.
Reframe: What’s the smallest thing I can do that moves me in the right direction?
Usual Frame: Success requires setting goals.
Reframe: Systems are better than goals.
Usual Frame: Focus on being excellent at a skill that has commercial value.
Reframe: Acquire skills that work well together and make you rare and flexible at the same time.
Usual Frame: Another problem! Why me???
Reframe: Ooh, a new puzzle to solve.
Usual Frame: Ugh, I hate this repetitive chore.
Reframe: I can do this chore so gracefully and efficiently it feels like a game.
Usual Frame: Passion is the key to success.
Reframe: Passion is nice but not required.
Usual Frame: It takes money to make money.
Reframe: I can turn energy into money.
Usual Frame: Don’t give something for nothing.
Reframe: Giving triggers reciprocity (on average).
Usual Frame: Do your job.
Reframe: Do more than your job.
Usual Frame: Success depends on who you know.