Reframe: There are happier third marriages than first.
Usual Frame: I have lost my soulmate.
Reframe: I have a million soulmates I have not yet met.
Usual Frame: I am crying because my relationship ended.
Reframe: “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.”—Dr. Seuss
Usual Frame: A teen can’t understand the “reason” parents have given, and it turns into a power struggle.
Reframe: The parent is a guide for young brains that are not yet capable of understanding adult reasons.
Usual Frame: I’m talking to you, teen, and this is between us.
Reframe: I must answer to your future self, not your current self.
Usual Frame: People treat you poorly, and you can’t do much about it.
Reframe: You cause people to act the way they do.
Usual Frame: The boss is in charge.
Reframe: The person with the best ideas is in charge.
Usual Frame: The experts are in charge.
Reframe: The best communicator is in charge.
Usual Frame: The boss is in charge.
Reframe: The most capable people are in charge.
Usual Frame: The people in charge have the power.
Reframe: Power = (Persuasion skill) x (Audience size)
Usual Frame: I can discern people’s motives by their actions.
Reframe: Mind-reading isn’t real. Humans are terrible at discerning motives.
Usual Frame: Most people are normal, but I’m a basket case.
Reframe: Everyone is a basket case once you get to know them.
Usual Frame: Judge people by their mistakes.
Reframe: Judge people by how they respond to their mistakes.
Usual Frame: People who are always late are either incompetent or uncaring or both.
Reframe: Some people have time blindness.
Usual Frame: Small acts of kindness are good.
Reframe: There are no small acts of kindness.
Physical Health Reframes
Usual Frame: When I am hungry, I eat food.
Reframe: Some food is fuel. Some food is entertainment.
Usual Frame: Overeating is a willpower problem.
Reframe: Overeating is a knowledge problem.
Usual Frame: I eat too much of the wrong food.
Reframe: I spend too much time with the wrong people.
Usual Frame: I want food, so I must be hungry.
Reframe: I want food, so I might be tired.
Usual Frame: I have a weight loss goal.
Reframe: I need to create a weight loss system for myself.
Usual Frame: Sugar is delicious but don’t overdo it.
Reframe: Sugar is poison.
Usual Frame: I am tempted by bad carbs.
Reframe: I’m not the kind of person who eats bad carbs.
Usual Frame: My stomach has room for more food.
Reframe: I’ve had enough.
Usual Frame: I’m hungry, so I need food.
Reframe: I’m hungry, so I need protein.
Usual Frame: Exercising requires willpower and motivation.
Reframe: Exercising is easier than not exercising if you turn it into a habit.
Usual Frame: It’s important to learn the best ways to exercise.
Reframe: The best exercises are the ones you are willing to do.
Usual Frame: I can’t get to sleep.
Reframe: I didn’t work hard enough.
Reality Reframes
Usual Frame: Nuclear Power is risky.
Reframe: Nuclear power is green.
Usual Frame: People are rational 90 percent of the time.
Reframe: People are rational 10 percent of the time if that.
Usual Frame: One of us is right, and one is wrong.
Reframe: We are watching two different movies on one screen.
Usual Frame: You should spread your genes.
Reframe: No matter what you do, your genes will be diluted with each generation until your contribution nears zero.
Usual Frame: The best worldview is the true one.
Reframe: The best worldview is one that predicts the best
Usual Frame: Predicting people’s actions involves many variables.
Reframe: Follow the money. That’s all you need.
Usual Frame: Life is about avoiding pain while pursuing happiness and meaning.
Reframe: Life is an adventure.
Usual Frame: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Reframe: Citizens are innocent until proven guilty. Corporations and governments are presumed guilty until proven innocent.
Usual Frame: No cheating has been detected, so the organization is innocent.
Reframe: Whenever there is an opportunity for cheating and not getting caught, a lot to gain from cheating, and lots of people involved, cheating will always happen.
Usual Frame: People come up with their own opinions.
Reframe: People join teams, and the media assigns their opinions.
Usual Frame: Others think and feel approximately as I do.
Reframe: Others are unimaginably different.
The Operating System for Your Mind
Usual Frame: You are the product of your experiences and genes.
Reframe: You are the author of your experience.
Usual Frame: I deserve to be treated well by others.
Reframe: You get what you give, on average. No one deserves anything.
Usual Frame: Reality is objective, and science helps us understand it.
Reframe: Our so-called reality is a simulation created by a higher intelligence.
Alternate: You are in a video game, and you have certain problems to solve to get to the next level.
Usual Frame: We have different memories.
Reframe: We created different subjective realities.
Usual Frame: Reality is objective.
Reframe: There might be an objective reality, but human brains don’t have access to it.
Usual Frame: Reality is only subjective in terms of our opinions and preferences.
Reframe: We can treat all of reality as subjective and get a good outcome, as if we authored it ourselves.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Joshua Lisec for an impressive job editing this book and for managing all elements of getting it independently published.
Thank you to my subscribers on Locals, who saved me when the world turned ugly. I can’t thank you enough. I hope I can return the favor.
And thank you to the newspapers and publishing companies that canceled me. I didn’t realize how much I missed my artistic freedom until I got it back.
About the Author
Scott Adams is best known as the creator of the Dilbert comic strip that ran in newspapers and later on websites around the world from 1989 until 2023. In recent years, Adams is better known as the author of the most influential book in the field of personal success—How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big.