OK. You could have a part that says «OK. You've done reframing; you know the standard model. You're hot at that and that would work here, but let's do it differently this time and have some fun.» Do you want that one? Or do you want a part that after you have successfully done reframing says «OK, it worked» so that you don't go ahead and use another model to cure the same problem that's already been cured?
Woman: I'll take both.
Man: I'd like a part that would allow me to relax when I'm sitting in a chair listening to a lecture, or when I'm talking.
Is that appropriate for this model? … It could be. The key question is «Are you relaxed at other times?»
Man: Yes.
So it's only when you come into a context like this that you get tense. Then the six–step model is more appropriate. If you built a new part to relax you, that would conflict with some other part that is making you tense.
Man: I'd like a part that permits me to retain the content of a lecture without taping the lecture.
Woman: I want an assertive part, but assertive only in certain contexts. Would I use this model, though, if I had an assertive part and the unassertive problem was contextually related? In other words, I have an assertive part… but it doesn't work all the time.
Well, I'm not willing to agree with that description. I would say what you are describing is that you have an assertive part, because you are capable of being assertive in some situations. This could be described in two ways. One is that you go into some specific situation and that Part goes «Not me!» The other possibility is that the assertive part says «Get 'em now!» and some other part goes «Shhhh!» The question is
«Which of those two possibilities occurs?» When you know that, then you can decide which kind of reframing to use—but either way, it's not building a part.
Harvey: I'd like a part to enable me to make lots of money.
OK. You want a greedy or clever part, depending upon how you think about it. Again, there are still lots of questions about your outcome. If the outcome is to get a lot of money, there have to be some well–formedness conditions about how you'll do this. Otherwise you might just take a gun and rob the first bank you see. This is the same thing I was talking about earlier. I want a specific description of what this part is going to do. Otherwise if I install this part, it may just go out and rob a bank.
Harvey: I want a part that will build referrals and find new markets for my skills.
OK, good. If you build the part that's going to generate referrals, then it knows how to go about getting money. That's a very specific kind of outcome.
Ray: I'd like a part that would enable me to improvise on the piano.
Woman: I'd like a part that allows me conscious access to visual images from the past.
You can't make eidetic images? How do you spell «greenwood»? … OK. You can make pictures; the emphasis is on the word «conscious.»
Woman: I'd like a part that would allow me to create hilarious humor whenever I wish. I want a part to just blow people apart into a humorous state.
Man: I want a part that will… allow me to … pause.
Do you want another one? You'd better be a little more specific, because you just demonstrated that you have a part that can allow you to pause. That's a mild incongruity in your communication, but my guess is that you have something more specific in mind.
Kit: I'd like a part to deal with «passive–aggressive» behaviors.
You will have to define that for me. «Passive–aggressive» is a double nominalization.
Kit: OK. I feel an incongruity in a set of behaviors that I experience with people and in myself—
We're going off into the «Land of Nominalization» here. We have to be careful. What is this part going to do?
Kit: Well, the part is going to serve a need—
All parts are going to serve a need. What is it going to do?
Kit: It will be like a periscope.
You can't specify outcome with that kind of metaphor. You've got to be very specific, or you'll go home at night and you'll lie down, and your body may come up like a periscope. If you say it's going to be a periscope, what exactly is it going to do for you? You've got to really tie it down to the world of experience.
Kit: I want balance between polarities.
Of?…
Man: You could build Kit a part to be more specific.
There you go. Beautiful. If you installed a part in her that was in charge of the Meta–Model, and then she Meta–Modeled her own internal dialogue, think what a gift that would be. Most of my students from the old days have a Meta–Model part.
Kit: I want a part to bring the stuff in me—
Wait a minute. Never mind. You need a part that knows the first four distinctions in the Meta–Model. In the exercise, someone is going to install a part in you that does that on the inside, so that before you speak, you can have the choice of using specific language or not.
Kit: I'd like a part that is … I feel that I… I've got a new statement to create it… since yesterday.
OK. Hold on for a few minutes. Go inside… .
Kit: I feel like I am.
Yes, that's right. This is called «pacing observable behavior.» Go inside and figure it out. I want you to make a visual image of what it is that would be occurring either in your mind or in the world of experience, that would allow me to know that this part that you want was operating. I don't want your image to be metaphorical. In other words, if you had a part that did this, what would I see that would be different? Take some time and do that on your own.
Lucy: I want a part to increase the frequency and intensity of orgasm with my husband. That would fit into this model.
True. Why not? Go for something worthwhile, I always say.
Woman: Is that building a new part, or is it just…
Well, the task of the part that she wants to build is not to make her have orgasms. Its job is to get another part to do it more often. The part she wants is what we call an «elbow part.» It gets other parts to go to work. It's like the difference between a motivation strategy and a learning strategy. One gets you to do it, and the other actually does the work. For instance, with a weight problem, it's one thing to build a part whose job is to diet, and it's another one to build a part whose job is to get you to go back on diets. There are different ways of thinking about how you are going to build parts and what you are going to build them for.
What we have been doing so far is step one: determining what specific outcome you want, and making sure that it is appropriate to build a part for that outcome. Before you build a part, I want you always to check to find out if another reframing model is more appropriate to get what you want….
For those of you who have chosen a part that you want and specified the outcome, I want to take you through step two. This is a fairly complex procedure, and we're going to do it methodically—not metaphorically. As a therapist you can dance around a little bit if you want to, but we're going to go through it step by step. I recommend highly that you have a piece of paper and a pencil during this procedure, because later there are going to be some things that you're going to have to keep track of, and there may be a lot of them.
I want all of you who are going to play this game with me to go inside and find out if you have any reference structures for the behavior that you want. Access any historical experiences that you can find of doing what you want to be able to do more methodically, more often, or whatever it is. Let's say somebody wanted to have a creative part. Perhaps they were only creative once ten years ago, or maybe they once thought of a new way to write a shopping list. Whatever it is, I want you to find whatever relevant examples exist. When you find those memories, I want you to step inside them, and get back all of the experience that goes with those memories. This is a very essential piece of what we are going to do. Take whatever amount of time you need to do that. Isolate specific instances of what you want, and be thorough about it. Make sure that you get at least one, two, or three experiences—if you have them—of what it is that you want this part to be able to do.