Then the shocks came again, wrenching agony from my throat. It pierced my skull, splitting it in half.
That time I heard my voice. Although I wished I hadn’t.
The old me died that night.
The new me was born out of the ashes, a phoenix thirsty for revenge.
Chapter 54Louisa, Present
Eight years.
Memories pierced through me like a sharp blade.
I had lost eight years of being me; eight years of loving the boy who protected me and my sister; eight years of looking for my twin.
I desperately tried to hold my tears back but was quickly losing the battle. One tear rolled down my cheek, then another, until it was impossible to stop them.
Finding Kingston’s dark gaze on me, we both ignored Dr. Freud’s eyes on us as the past danced around us. My eyes filled with tears again as I stared at him like I hadn’t seen him in eight years.
The boy was gone. A harsh man was in his place.
I couldn’t stop remembering the boy, memories breaking my heart slowly, wreaking havoc from the inside out.
I shook my head. “I… I need—”
I couldn’t breathe.
Rushing out of there, I heard Kingston call for me. “Louisa!”
“A minute,” I croaked.
My mind was a jumbled mess. I couldn’t think with his eyes on me. I couldn’t breathe when he was near. Most importantly, I couldn’t shake off the guilt of forgetting him.
“I’ll be right behind you, sunshine,” he called out. “Take all the time you need, but I’m following right behind you.”
This was not how it was supposed to be.
My heart squeezed, so many memories bouncing off my skull and suddenly making sense. The faceless man. The brutality of our childhood. The pain of his torture—and mine.
I walked aimlessly around the island, Kingston’s footsteps distant but steady behind me. My skull screamed, my muscles protested, and my left wrist ached. Fuck, no wonder it hurt. My mother broke it so many times, forcing me to use my right hand.
A headache slowly formed between my temples, the throbbing pain matching the one in my heart.
I stumbled through the shrubs, staring at my surroundings through my blurry vision. Birds chirped. The waves soothed this raging storm inside me.
I failed them.
For eight long years, I’d been failing Kingston and my twin. I let my merciless mother twist me into something I never was.
A shadow fell over me, and I lifted my head.
Kingston—my ghost and personal shadow—lurked over me.
“It’s going to be the only promise I can’t keep,” he rasped. “Please tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.” I managed an awkward smile, unable to tear my eyes from the man he’d become. It felt like a twilight zone.
“You’re not okay.”
“I shot at you,” I blurted, feeling like sobbing my heart out. “Twice. Then Russian—”
I was such a mess. A killer who was unable to keep her shit together. No wonder Mother didn’t want me as Louisa. No, don’t think like that.
“And I hated you.” Kingston’s soft admission pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. “I thought you were Liana, and I hated that my Lou was dead while she was alive. I wanted to kill her… you… but a promise I made you kept me on track.”
My fingernails curled into fists, digging into the palms of my hands. My pulse roared in my ears.
“But you kept your promise,” I whispered. “How could I have forgotten you?” I croaked. “My sister?”
He cocooned me against his strong chest, the familiar warmth and spiced-vanilla scent enveloping me into a protective bubble.
“You survived.” A broken moan left my lips and I buried my face against his chest. “You kept your promise because you survived and came back to me.”
“No, Kingston. You found me.”
Another tear rolled down the side of my face, but this one held hope.
My ghost—my Kingston—had found me despite the universe conspiring against us. The warmth of his love and the lines of his face kept me going in my dreams, only for him to find me again.
Chapter 55Kingston
My obsession with Louisa became oxygen and water. It was born out of emotions that the world had almost erased.
I couldn’t pinpoint when I fell in love with Louisa. It just happened—like a breeze becoming wind and then turning into a hurricane. It grew with each touch and kiss, each stolen moment.
My heart bled and ached during the years when I believed she was gone. I was a dead man walking, as cliché as it sounded. And then fate brought her back into my life. It was our second chance, and I wouldn’t waste it. I’d hunt down every threat and eliminate it.
Starting with Sofia Volkov.
Something had bothered me about this whole situation. It lacked any logic. Why would Sofia have orchestrated this whole thing?
And now, this random girl turned up beaten and confused, claiming her name was Louisa.
It was all connected. The question of how remained.
When we got back to the house, I barely spared Dr. Freud a glance when I said, “Your ride home’s waiting. Send me the bill.”
I lifted Louisa by the hips and sat down with her on my lap as Dr. Freud hightailed it out of there. She turned out to be very useful, although I wished she’d been able to offer me a way to spare Lou from it all. She kept staring at me as if she’d seen a ghost.
“Tell me how I can help,” I murmured, brushing my nose against hers.
“I’m Louisa?” She was still shellshocked, her eyes twitching and her mouth turned down in a frown. “You’re not going to break my wrist?”
I clenched my jaw so hard my molars almost shattered. That bitch must have forced all Lou’s old habits out of her.
Inhaling a calming breath, I forced a smile on before I said, “No. Nobody will ever hurt you again.” Her forehead came to rest against mine, her breathing shallow. “Take your time. Breathe. Everything else will come.”
“How could I forget?” she whispered. “How could I forget you?” She swallowed hard. “Me? Us?”
I stayed silent for a moment, thinking of the best way to answer. Maybe I should have kept Dr. Freud on for a bit longer, but now that Lou was back, I didn’t want any witnesses to our reunion.
“It was probably a combination of Sofia’s torture and your mind’s coping mechanisms.”
“Am I crazy?” Her voice trembled.
“No, sunshine. You’re not crazy.” My grip around her waist tightened. “You’re a survivor. You’re the strongest woman I know. Hell, one of the strongest human beings period.”
“I feel like I’m losing it,” she whispered. “I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t. It’s insanity.”
“Then you ask me, and we’ll figure it out together.”
“Together,” she repeated softly, as if tasting the word on her lips.
“Yes, together.”
She shifted, her golden-brown eyes on me. “How did you survive?” She blinked several times. “I remember… the torture. Yours. Mine. I thought you died, and I wanted to die too.”
“Alexei saved me.” I took her chin between my fingers. “I thought you died. I touched you and…” Fuck, my voice cracked. “I passed out, and when I woke up, you were gone.”
“Sofia played us.”
My jaw clenched.
“She did.” She shuddered, goosebumps visible on her skin. I ran a hand down her arm, then wrapped her in a hug. “But she’ll never get to you again,” I vowed.
“You… We always wanted this, didn’t we?” Her voice was muffled against my neck. “The beach and the sun… just the two of us. True?”
I rubbed my hand over her back soothingly.
“True.”
“Did… did we… You were my first and I was yours?” A light blush crept up her cheek. Her fair skin always betrayed her, and those eyes… Fuck, I should have known. Lou’s eyes were always the windows to her soul.