“What are your instincts actually telling you?” she asked.
“The consequences of getting caught in a bad position again—”
“Those are your fears. What are you instincts saying?”
Geary met her eyes again, realizing she was right. “Heradao.”
“Then follow them,” Desjani urged.
He exhaled heavily, pointing to where the fleet’s status was displayed. “Dammit, Tanya, you know the state of the fleet as well as I do. We’ve only got twenty battleships left, even if we count in Orion, and Orion appears determined to see how long it can possibly take to repair battle damage. There are only sixteen battle cruisers remaining in the fleet, and of those, Courageous, Incredible, Illustrious, and Brilliant are barely combat-capable after the damage they sustained at Cavalos. The scout battleship division is down to one surviving ship, there are exactly forty-one specter missiles and fifteen mines left in the entire fleet, and every cruiser and destroyer in the fleet has at least one weapons system jury-rigged to keep functioning despite battle damage. And fuel-cell reserves on the fleet’s warships are down to an average of only fifty-two percent. That’s no way to go into a battle.”
Instead of answering immediately, Desjani reached over and highlighted the status of the four fleet auxiliaries. “I know you’ve already checked this. Goblin, Jinn, Witch, and Titan are working all out to manufacture what this fleet needs to keep going. But from the beginning their efforts haven’t been enough to gain ground on our logistics situation while we were facing constant threats inside Syndic territory. Even with all the risks we’ve taken to keep those auxiliaries supplied with the raw materials they need, they simply don’t have the manufacturing capacity to keep up with this fleet’s combat consumption of fuel cells and expendable weaponry. Not with all of the maneuvering that your tactics demand.”
He couldn’t deny that. “You’re right. I’ve already checked that.”
“So you already know that, until we get back to Alliance space, it’s not going to get better.” Desjani hammered home. “The fuel-cell situation is at the point where the auxiliaries have to devote everything they can to making new ones, meaning they can’t manufacture new missiles. They can give us new grapeshot, and stocks of that are rising to acceptable levels right now. But the missile and mine situation will not improve, and until we make it home, we’re going to keep using fuel cells faster than we can make them. There won’t be a better time to fight the Syndics than Heradao. We’re low on everything, and we do have accumulated battle damage, but they’ve taken terrible losses. Given time, the enemy will recover faster than we can inside their own territory.”
He looked at the star display again, his eyes going from Heradao across the light-years to Alliance space. Desjani watched him for a few moments, then spoke again, her voice softer. “You’re also worried about what happens when the fleet gets home, aren’t you?”
Geary shifted his gaze, his eyes locking on her again, as Desjani continued.
“You’re worried about facing a place you knew as home a hundred years ago and all the changes since then.” Desjani nodded toward the region of Alliance space. “Most importantly, you’re much more worried about what most of this fleet expects you to do once we get home.”
Did he have no secrets from this woman? Had he ever actually discussed those things with her in those terms? Geary shook his head, though not in denial of her words. “I won’t do it, Tanya. I don’t care if most of the fleet, and most of the citizens of the Alliance for that matter, want the great, legendary Black Jack Geary to ride in on a white horse and toss out the elected leaders of the Alliance. I won’t destroy what makes the Alliance worth fighting for in the name of defending the Alliance. But a lot of people are expecting that; some of those people will probably try to force my hand, and I have no idea how to deal with that.”
“Yes, you do.” Desjani’s gaze held his. “You already know what you won’t do. You have a strategic goal, to preserve what makes the Alliance worth fighting for and to end this war. Consider ways to implement that strategy, and the tactics will follow.”
“It’s not that easy—”
“Not if you try to do it alone! Ask for advice! Is there no one you trust in this fleet except the politician?”
That made Geary look away for a moment. Just as Rione had long since stopped using Desjani’s name, Desjani herself had started referring to Co-President Rione only as “the politician.” On one level, the job description was true enough, but politicians were also despised by a fleet that, after a century of war, had come to blame them for the failure to achieve victory. “Do you want to know why I haven’t asked you for advice on that?” he asked.
“It might be a refreshing change of pace for you to tell me.”
Damn. What had gotten into Desjani? Geary met her eyes once more. “Because I’m afraid you’ll agree to whatever I say, that you’ll break your own oath and follow me no matter what I do, because you believe that the living stars sent me to this fleet and are guiding me.”
Desjani nodded, her expression resolute. “Yes, I would follow you.” As Geary openly winced, she held out a forestalling hand. “Because I know you were sent to this fleet with a divine mission and that you do benefit from special guidance. Because of that, I also know that you will not do something that you have sworn not to do. I know you will not destroy the Alliance, and therefore I know I can follow you and help you, if you will let me. There are others who will help you figure out a course of action if you confide in us, and I’m sure you know who they are. Give us credit for loving the Alliance as much as you. I admit that at one time I could have been talked into accepting a military coup, but not now, not after the things of which you’ve reminded us all. Our own attempts to match Syndic brutality have only served to convince the Syndic populace of the need to keep fighting hard against us, and there wouldn’t be much point in winning if victory meant becoming the mirror image of our enemies. But like the problems with the Syndics, political problems within this fleet and at home will not get better if you defer dealing with them.”
A host of retorts and rebuttals came to Geary, but he knew every single one of them would either deny what he knew to be the truth or avoid the real issues. He sat staring at the stars once more as the fragments of what he knew and what Desjani had said fell into place inside his own mind, forming a picture he recognized as accurate, then he finally nodded. “Thank you. You’re right. About everything. I’ve been avoiding a decision. I was seeing it all, but I wouldn’t put it together because I was haunted by the thought of losing this fleet on the threshold of safety and because I was letting worries about what would happen when we got home further paralyze me.”
Desjani grinned, the tension having suddenly fled from her. “We’re going to Heradao?”
“Yes, Tanya, we’re going to Heradao. We’re going to get those Alliance prisoners of war, if they’re still there, and we’re going to defeat whatever force the Syndics might have gathered at Heradao. And I’m going to work on that strategy for when we reach Alliance space.”
“You can ask Captain Duellos, Captain Tulev—”
“And you,” Geary interrupted her list. “It seems you’re a very important part of my ‘special guidance.’ ”