“Testor, where are you going?” one of the Scouts calls out to me.
Why did I think anyone would let me slink off? Even now? “To clear out my gear from the Testing Site, sir.”
The Scout pauses, probably figuring there’s not much more damage I can do at this stage. Except to myself, which Scout Okpik and possibly some others wouldn’t mind. Mercifully, Okpik’s been ignoring me for the past few siniks. Since Aleksandr and Neils’ find, really. “Shouldn’t you have done that earlier?”
“Yes, sir.”
He sighs. “All right. Just be back before last light.”
“Yes, sir.”
The light is still bright enough to make the landscape blue and purple instead of unnavigable black, and I make it to the crevasse easily enough. Two Boundary Climbers still patrol the perimeter—to protect the Site from the Testors, or the Testors from the Site, I’m not sure which. The white-haired Climber is one of the two on duty, and I busy myself with collecting gear so I won’t have to look him in the eye.
In a quarter bell, Jasper arrives. Kneeling down nearby, he makes a show of packing up his dig equipment as well. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, so I let him speak first.
“Feels like we’ve been beyond the Ring a long time, doesn’t it?” he whispers, keeping his eyes fixed on his Claim.
“The Aerie almost seems like a dream,” I whisper back. I don’t tell him how changed I feel. How Elizabet has altered me in ways I could have never imagined. How sitting here next to Jasper—a genderless Testor with an unsure future instead of a Lex-guarded Maiden—I feel as exposed as Elizabet must have felt onstage. As naked as I might feel on my wedding eve. And how Elizabet has made me as eager to win the Archon Laurels as any Gallant entering the Testing, so much so that I wrote a Chronicle as if I were Elizabet herself.
He moves closer to me. The air grows warmer around us. When he starts talking, I can sense his breath on me. It makes me feel funny, and I almost can’t concentrate on his words.
“Things are going to be different when we get back, Eva. They might get really busy for me.” He hesitates, as if he shouldn’t say what comes next, “You know that I found a small worship tablet to the false god Apple.”
“I know,” I whisper back.
He laughs a little. “I guess there aren’t any secrets out here. Anyway … in case I get swept up in all the ceremony, I wanted you to know that my feelings for you haven’t changed. If anything, they’ve gotten deeper. Watching you risk so much out here has given me …”
As Jasper speaks, it strikes me that his speech sounds rehearsed instead of heartfelt. My warm feelings start to dissipate. Instead I find myself angry at his assumptions that he’s already won—even though I’ve assumed as much myself—and that I’m nothing more than a Maiden who can be appeased with a bit of Gallant-speak. Maybe he needs a lesson. Or better yet, a bargain: my support of his Archon victory in exchange for a spot as Lexor, just like my father and his uncle were rumored to have made. Why not? I know The Lex inside and out and it would appease me to be the only female in the Triad. It would be even better if Jasper and I do end up Betrothed.
I take a deep breath, but hesitate when one of the Climbers passes close by in his rounds.
Jasper stops talking and begins packing up his ice screws and skeins of sealskin ropes. Just to look busy, I coil a rope, too. Even though it’s not mine.
The Climber draws nearer to us. “I understand that your Chronicle is very popular,” he remarks.
Both Jasper and I look up; it’s the white-haired Climber. Jasper puffs up a little, and says, “Well, it’s been a long time since an Apple Relic has been found.”
“I wasn’t talking to you, Testor. I was talking to her.”
“Me?” I ask, incredulous. I’d been praying to the Gods for a positive reaction from New North, but I’m surprised when I hear that I’ve received it. How could the Aerie populace be favoring my Chronicle? Over Jasper’s Apple find? Especially when my Chronicle breaks form?
“Yes.” The Climber smiles a little, his teeth white in the mounting darkness. “Some say it’s the most popular Chronicle ever.” Then he walks away.
Jasper slumps back into the snow. His lips twitch. He is seething, I can tell. “What did you find, Eva?” he asks without even looking at me.
I tell him about the pink pack, all its little marvels. I describe to him my connection to their owner. And I tell him the Chronicle I wrote of Elizabet’s life and her last days. I think he’ll understand.
“So your Chronicle is a story?”
“Not exactly—”
“Kind of like the fiction they used to write in pre-Healing days?”
He’s trying to hurt me. I know better than anyone that “fiction” is a dirty word in the Aerie. Outlawed by The Lex. Stories and fables and tales have been banned since the Healing. My adventurous stitching was viewed by some as “fiction” and it sentenced me to the Ark. But this is different. “It’s not fiction, Jasper. It’s a reconstruction of her life based on the Relics I found,” I say, sounding more defensive than I’d like.
“How could you do that, Eva?”
“What do you mean?”
He stands and points his finger at me. “I mean, how could you treat the Testing like this? The Lex tells us that the Chronicles are the way to teach the New North people about dangers of the pre-Healing world and to reinforce our community’s decision to live in the Golden Ages. They don’t merely serve to entertain.” He spits out the last word as if it’s blasphemy.
Perhaps he’s raised his voice to attract the attention of the Climbers again. But I no longer care if we are overheard, and I no longer feel like some unprotected Maiden awaiting the verdict of her Gallant. I stand up and face him head on. “You haven’t even read my Chronicle.”
“I can’t believe I supported your participation in the Testing. You’ve risked my success at the Testing—and our future Union—with this stunt.”
“It sounds like you’re mostly mad because I stand a chance at winning. Truly the behavior of a Gallant.”
He stares at me for a long tick, and then storms off into the darkening night.
Part of me wants to race after him and scream at him for speaking to me that way. Part of me wants to stay far away from the camp, poisoned as it is now with Jasper and his words. It’s clear that I have to sacrifice any chance with Jasper if I want to win. I also realize that—no matter what the Climber reported about the reaction to my Chronicle—many others in the Aerie may react just like Jasper.
I take a deep breath, and decide to do something else entirely. Something forbidden.
I pull out my harness from my pack, run a line through it, and thread it through my ice screw. Then I descend into the crevasse for one last visit with Elizabet.
XXXI: Aprilus 24 Year 242, A.H.
I can hardly see. Whether it’s from the tears streaming down my face or the Sun as She fades, I’m not sure. But I don’t care. I’m not going to let Jasper—or anyone else, for that matter—ruin my possibilities. I believe in my Chronicle. Given the choice I would still pick discovering Elizabet’s belongings over an Apple Relic, with its greater certainty of winning the Tests. Even if I face reprisals. And I’m not going to let anyone rob me of a final vale to Elizabet or a fight for victory in honor of Lukas and Eamon.