“You fucking tease,” he grunts, grabbing the back of my head and pushing my mouth all the way onto his dick. I smile around his length; the control I have is a high. I have never had control of anything in my life. But when it comes to this, using my body, I have control not only of myself, but the man who wants it, as well. I suck, and bob, and suck some more before I feel his cock tighten and pulse against my tongue. I close my eyes, preparing myself for the warmth about to spill into my mouth, but he pulls out instead. As soon as I open my eyes, I’m sprayed in the face with warm semen. Chasen grunts as he strokes himself, releasing little beads of sticky cum onto my face. I turn away and get it in my hair, causing him to chuckle, an arrogant smirk covering his face.
“It’s not fucking funny,” I respond angry, shoving him away from me. “Seriously?” I growl, trying to wipe the mess off my face.
“I’m sorry, babe. I was just messing around.” Chasen laughs, pushing my hair from my face.
After I wipe my face clean of what I could with my hands, Chasen pulls me up and lifts my face toward his.
“I gotta get home. I need my focus for tomorrow,” he explains.
“Yeah, okay. I understand,” I reply, still irritated.
We walk back to his truck and get in. The air conditioning caresses my sweaty body as he starts the engine.
Chasen pulls up to my apartment and parks. The sky is dark from the sun setting; the only thing I can see is the small glow from the café in the distance.
“You wanna come up?” I ask, looking over at him stretched out in his seat.
“Can’t, babe,” he responds, lifting up in his seat and messing with something in his back pocket.
“Your shoes,” he mentions, jerking his head toward my feet. I look down, noticing my worn-out flip-flops.
“Yeah, what about them?” I ask, confused.
Chasen pulls some cash out, throwing it on the seat. “Get you some better ones or something.” My mouth falls open at the eighty bucks sitting on the leather seat.
“You deserve something better,” he mutters, leaning over and kissing my forehead. I shut my mouth and look up at him, curious why he cares so much about my fucking shoes.
“My flip-flops are fine,” I assure.
“Then get something else,” he responds, giving me a wink and putting the truck into drive.
I haven’t been one to know much about what boyfriends and girlfriends do in a relationship. Hell, I don’t know what the hell you would even call Chasen and me, but I had a friend in high school who was always dating older guys. The men she went with would shower her in the finest jewelry and always gave her cash for spending. But who am I kidding? Jayden and I need the money so badly, who cares why Chasen’s giving it to me? I look at it and see food rather than shoes. With that, I grab the cash and stuff it down my shirt.
“See you around, Charlie.” I look up and find Chasen flashing a menacing smile.
I blink rapidly, his smile taking me aback, and shut the cab door.
***
Chasen showed up a couple times a week after that. He would take me somewhere, and before I knew what was happening, I was either giving him head or a hand job. Not every time, but most of the time he would return the favor, rubbing on me just right to make me obliterate into nothing but pleasure. He has asked me several times if I was ready to have sex, and every time, I told him no. I just wanted more than some quickie in the back of a truck. I wanted what you see in the movies. The unmistaken sparks that fly from touching one another, and a more romantic place than public. But realistically, I’m not fooling myself. I know that kind of romance doesn’t exist. What I need is to not be alone anymore. I want to be a part of something whole, and not broken.
He has bought me clothes, shoes, a cell phone, and even helped me with my rent. Jayden and I actually have some food in our fridge. We’d be starving or out on the streets without him. The next time we go out, I think I may give myself to him fully. Maybe. I don’t know.
My stomach falls with the thought, excitement and confusion racing through me like a source of adrenaline. I want to want to have sex with Chasen, but for some reason, my head isn’t as convinced. Get a grip. It’ll be like taking off a Band-Aid; just get it over with. Chasen is the only guy who’s showed any interest in me since… ever.
I’m thinking way too much about it. I blow an irritated breath. It’s just sex. Nothing more. Besides, it’s not like I have a line of suitors lined up at my door. Maybe sex is exactly what I need to fill this aching hole in my chest. It’s like a black hole that’s been there since I can remember, and it sucks the life out of me.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, babe,” Jayden informs, walking out the door.
“Where are you going?” I question, all motherly and whatnot. Jayden sighs and rolls her eyes.
“There’s a frat party. I’m just going to go check it out. Chill,” she huffs, slamming the door before leaving.
I reach over and grab some pink fingernail polish as my phone vibrates. It’s just a cheapy pay-as-you-go, but it’s the only cell phone I’ve ever had. I reach over and grab it.
I got something just for you, babe. Meet me outside in ten.
“He has something for me?” I mutter, a smile creeping across my face. My heart skips a beat in excitement. I’ve never been given a gift before.
I run over to the closet and find that black dress, grabbing Jayden’s black heels that match it. I look in my suitcase for some clean panties, but come up short. I need to go to the dry cleaners bad. Looks like I’m going commando. Jayden would be proud.
I finger my hair, trying to tame the bed-head look I’ve got going on, and quickly apply some light makeup. My heart beats against my chest anxiously, curious at what Chasen has for me. I’m excited and nearly trip on my heels exiting the apartment.
Walking out, it’s hot and muggy, even when the sun has gone down. The street is deserted and the café up the street just turned its lights off, making the area pitch-black. The eerie darkness conceals the alleys and sidewalk, a sense of unease rushing in my veins. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. A bunch of deep laughter echoes down the way, causing me to look toward the street heading toward the college.
“Fancy!” Chasen hollers. Hearing his voice, I relax a little, knowing he’s there. As he gets closer, I notice a couple of buff guys walking beside him. I look at the bunch in confusion. I thought Chasen would be alone. Heading toward them, I hear music blaring from the college dorms, Eminem and Sia’s, “Beautiful Disaster”.
“This her?” a guy with a low buzz-cut and what looks like a college football jersey that matches Chasen’s asks. His eyes rake over my frame unforgivingly, and he licks his bottom lip. I curl my own in reaction.
“Damn, man,” another guy with dark, short-spiked hair remarks. My spine stiffens and my body chills. I’m not sure why I react with such high-alert, but my instincts are telling me I should run. Growing up in such a hostile environment, my gut has never been wrong. But Chasen is with them. He won’t let anything happen to me.
“Yep, best head I’ve had, I’m telling you,” Chasen adds, looking up at the sky like my mouth is God’s gift to Earth. A menacing smile stretches across his face. Did he always smile like that? Am I just now noticing it? Shame fills the pit of my stomach.
My eyes widen and my mouth parts to allow my harsh breathing to escape. My brows furrow in confusion as to why he would say such a personal thing to his friends. Trusting my gut, I turn on my heel, ready to run back to my apartment, but a rock-hard hand grasps my upper arm and stops me, pulling me back with force. Looking over my shoulder, I see a smiling buzz-cut glowering at me. I tear my arm from his hold, tripping over my high heels, and glare at him.
“So, Chasen said he can’t get you to go all the way with him. How much more do we gotta pay to get between those legs?” Buzz-cut asks, reaching out and sliding his hand up my dress uninvited.