McKay also filled him in on what the rest of the city had been up to. “Sergeant Bates had your job for a whole day, during which a petition started circulating in the science team demanding that we hold free elections for the position of acting military commander. Apparently Sergeant Stackhouse was a favored candidate. Then Lieutenant Ford was cleared for duty, so things settled down.”
John decided not commenting on that was best, so he just said, “So everybody missed me.”
“Let’s say they prefer your slacker laissez-faire style to Bates’ ‘guilty until proven innocent’ strategy.”
“At least you guys didn’t try to form a separatist commune again. I don’t think that would look good on my record.”
Scraping the bowl for the last of the egg mush, Rodney lifted his brows. “And did they tell you about the operation? Personally, I don’t believe in it for cats, but after you shredded a diagnostic bed, we thought—”
“Sorry to disappoint you but yes, Carson told me how I got declawed, and we’ve already made all the ‘Dr. Beckett, Extragalactic Vet’ and All Creatures Great and Small jokes.” John self-consciously tucked his hands under his armpits.
Dr. Biro picked that moment to swoop in, saying breezily, “It really was fascinating. You can see if you like, we filmed the whole procedure.”.
John stared at her. “You’re kidding.”
“Of course she’s not kidding,” McKay assured him.
“Why?”
“Oh, because Biology thought it would be fun to show at the Christmas party.” McKay rolled his eyes. “If we can ever contact Earth again, Carson wants the first Nobel Prize awarded in xenobiology. Do you really think he’d pass up this opportunity?”
John looked at Dr. Biro for help, which was probably a mistake. She smiled winningly. “Oh, don’t worry, you can’t really see your face. You were intubated.”
“Oh, well, that’s good.”
McKay looked at him pityingly. “Right, no one’s going to figure out who ‘Patient X, Major, Acting Military Commander, Atlantis Expedition’ was.”
“Rodney, shut up and go away.”
Ford came by later to see how John was, and to report that the Koan who had fled the fighting after Dorane’s death were more interested in running away than in attacking anybody, so on Dr. Weir’s advice he had implemented a “catch and release” policy where the security details stunned and collected them to toss back through the Stargate to the repository’s planet. He was pretty sure they had found all of them by now, though you never knew. With a regretful shrug, he added, “Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett talked about trying to give them some assistance, but we don’t have the resources to do much more than throw a few crates of food through the ’gate after them. And Dr. Beckett thinks trying to mess around any more with their genetics would just make it worse, that now that Dorane’s not there to mess with their minds that they’ve got a good chance of being okay.”
John had to agree. “I think they’ve had about all the ‘help’ they can stand.”
Ford also wanted to apologize for anything he had done while under the influence. He said there was a lot of mutual apologizing going around the city for things people had done to friends and co-workers during the situation. John said in that case he was dropping the charges, so that was okay.
The next day, John got to say goodbye to all the IV stands and escape from the medlab. He was supposed to go to his quarters and rest, but he didn’t think anybody really expected that to happen, so he headed up to the operations tower. John was willing to admit he needed another day or two to recover and he kind of liked padding around in a t-shirt, sweatpants, and old sneakers while everybody else was in uniform and working. But Beckett didn’t want to clear him for duty for another week, which was ridiculous.
Beckett had also told him that he didn’t think anything that had happened would affect the way John’s natural Ancient gene worked, the way the ATA responded to him. John knew he should go up to the jumper bay and make certain, but instead he found himself stopping off in Elizabeth’s office. And once there it seemed like a good time to talk her out of this crazy off-duty for a whole week idea.
Elizabeth, however, refused to budge. John tried everything from rational and pragmatic arguments to wheedling to the cute but wounded puppy expression that had gotten him the go-ahead to do some really crazy things in the past, but nothing worked.
They were in her office, one transparent wall providing a view over the control gallery. Elizabeth was sitting at her desk, her head propped on one hand, and when John realized she was watching his performance as if this was the most entertainment she had had in a month, he decided to give in for now.
“So how’s Dr. Kavanagh? Is McKay riding him into the ground with this?” John noticed Sergeant Bates standing on the gallery outside with a clipboard tucked under one arm, apparently waiting to talk to Elizabeth. John gave him a she likes me best smirk and settled into the chair a little more comfortably, intending to take his time.
“I’m a little concerned about that,” Elizabeth admitted cautiously, from which John inferred that for the past few days that section of the labs had been like a combination snake pit and bear-baiting show. She eyed him a moment. “I’ve recommended that everyone who was affected see Dr. Heightmeyer.”
Kate Heightmeyer was the expedition’s psychologist; John decided not to take the broad hint. He suggested helpfully, “We could all go together, and do that encounter group thing where we talk to each other with hand puppets.”
“That would make a great threat, wouldn’t it?” Elizabeth looked thoughtful. “By the way, I never bought the story that you were cooperating with Dorane. Neither did Peter.” Lifting a brow, she added ruefully, “For one thing, it was exactly the kind of plan you and Rodney would have come up with, like something out of a movie.”
John was actually kind of touched to hear that, but all he said was, “Which movie? One of those old ones with Sydney Poitier and Tony Curtis?”
Her mouth quirked. “I have no idea. But you’re lucky you didn’t have to fool anyone who knew you well and still had possession of their critical faculties.”
John nodded seriously. “So if you ever decide to take over Atlantis, we’ll have to come up with a new and completely innovative plan to thwart you. I’ll put McKay right on that.”
Teyla walked in then, saying, “Dr. Weir, they said you wished to—” Flustered, she halted abruptly, and started to back out of the room. “I’m sorry, I did not realize—”
By the time John said, “Hey, Teyla,” Elizabeth was already on her feet and at the door.
She took Teyla’s arm, drawing her back inside, saying, “Teyla, I just have to — If you could wait for me here—”
Teyla obviously didn’t want to stay but was too polite to just bolt for freedom. In another moment Elizabeth was out the door and Teyla was left standing uncomfortably in the office.
Bemused, John watched her, trying to figure out what was wrong. Teyla was avoiding his eyes, her brow furrowed and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He said, “I thought you were on the mainland, catching up with everybody.” If Beckett was actually serious about this no active duty for a week thing, John was half thinking of going out there himself. Watching the kids play, lying on the beach, getting drunk with Hailing and the others around the campfire let you remember that there were places somewhere in the universe where people lived normal lives, without fear, without being hunted. As far as they could tell, none of those places were in this galaxy, but at least it was nice to think that they existed somewhere.