I open my eyes, just in time to see his face change. The lines smooth out; his expression turns calm and placid. There’s nothing he can do about the bags under his eyes, but right in front of me, he mutates from a man plagued by tragedy to one who is solid and steady—to the Logan I’ve known all my life.
The transformation is subtle, and I might’ve missed it if I hadn’t watched him from a certain air shaft in the past. But I recognize the shift now. I see how, all of his life, he puts on a mask for me. To protect me.
“I love you, Logan,” I say quietly. “I always have, and that will never change. You were my savior, my protector. You were the only one who loved Callie as much as I did. But I never appreciated what you went through. How hard it must’ve been for you to keep it together and take care of me, when you were just a kid yourself. How you had to put your own despair below mine. But you did it.”
He traces the tip of his shoe in the dirt. “In the beginning, I did it for Callie. All she wanted was for you to be safe. When she couldn’t protect you anymore, I took the reins. Because I loved her.” He tilts his face to the leaf-covered sky. The one that’s always there, always whole, no matter how broken we are underneath. “But pretty soon, you wormed your way into my heart, too. You were a cute kid, you know. It’s easy to see why she loved you so much.”
“I never talked,” I say, flushing. “Remember how you would all be laughing and joking, and I’d be in the corner, sulking?”
“Not sulking.” He picks up my fingers and squeezes them. “You were just taking it all in. Besides, you didn’t have to talk or tell jokes for me to accept you. I love you simply because you’re Jessa. The sister of my heart.”
I take a deep breath and then another one. The tears line my lungs, and every breath brings a little more moisture to the surface. This man. He’s done so much for me. Given me so much. Cruel or not, he deserves the truth.
Haltingly, I tell him everything. How I discovered Callie was still alive. How Mikey convinced me to stay quiet. Our wild plan to save Callie and our journey to the past. How I saw a younger him save a younger me.
When I finish, it’s so quiet I can hear the wind rustling the leaves. The crickets chirping their beginning-of-summer song.
“Say something,” I beg. “Are you mad?”
His eyes flash. “Am I mad? Ten years ago, my life was destroyed. My heart was ripped out, and every time I hoped it could be put back, I was shot down. Encouraged to forget about Callie and move on. Now you’re telling me there’s a possibility she might come back to us?” He shakes his head wonderingly. “I should want to tear time apart that you kept this a secret for so long. But all I can feel is amazed. I might get to listen to her laugh again. To hold her hand. To see in her eyes how my touch affects her.”
“But isn’t it too late? You’re engaged. You’re no longer free to love her.”
“No,” he says. “I’m not.”
My heart—and time itself—stops. “You told Mikey this morning you were going to propose to Ainsley. When I got here, you said it was a done deal.”
“I meant I made the decision to propose,” he says. “I didn’t actually go through with it.”
He takes something out of his pocket. At first, I think it’s a ring, but then I see it is a plant bracelet. Thin green stalks woven together and preserved in some kind of sealant so that it holds, even after one year—or ten. “I had every intention of proposing to Ainsley today. But as I was leaving my house, something caught my eye. Something bright and red. The corner of a leaf.”
He slips the bracelet on his wrist. “I don’t know if you know this, but when we moved back to civilization, your mom gave me Callie’s old books. The physical ones. There weren’t many, just a few cookbooks and a thin volume of poems by Emily Brontë. I kept them on a shelf, and today, as I walked past, I saw a bit of red sticking out of the book of poems. I don’t know why I never noticed it before. When I opened the book, a bright red leaf came fluttering out. Just like the ones I used to give her when we were kids.”
I can hardly breathe. That was me. Logan never noticed the corner of the leaf before because it wasn’t sticking out before. When I went to the past, I put the slim volume back where it belonged, but I left a corner of a leaf poking out. Tanner was so worried that my one small action would change the future—and it did.
Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Maybe our paths roll out exactly the way they’re supposed to unfurl.
“I knew right then that I couldn’t go through with the proposal.” The mask slips from Logan’s face, and he shows me exactly who he is when he’s not trying to protect me. A man who hurts…and loves. “I knew this was a sign telling me to wait for something, anything.” He swipes his hand over his eyes. “Maybe I have more precognition than I thought.”
“Maybe so.” I stand and hold my hand out to him. “Come on. Let’s go wake up my sister.”
57
“Are the doors locked?” my father asks the next morning. “The shades drawn? Com units off?”
“Yes,” I say. We’re back in Preston’s apartment, and we’re as ready as we’ll ever be. More ready than even he suspects.
My head’s fuzzy. My limbs ache. I haven’t slept for twenty-four hours because I’ve been busy making arrangements for my secret plan. A plan no one knows about except Tanner. But sleep is overrated. Just ask Callie. She’s being doing nothing but sleep these last ten years.
“You’re sure Dresden doesn’t know?” My father wheels on Tanner. “You swear you didn’t let anything slip in a conversation, in a report?”
Tanner holds up his hands. “Not a word. I swear to the Fates.”
“She can’t know about Callie, you understand?” He paces the living area, leaving angry red footprints on the pressure-sensitive tile. “She thinks Callie’s dead, that her body’s disposed of. If she discovers I snuck her out, it will blow my cover—everyone’s cover. We’ll no longer be the docile Underground under her thumb but the secret rebellion plotting to overthrow her. It will ruin everything.”
My mom puts her hand on his arm, and he stills. “I’m sorry.” He drops his forehead onto her shoulder. “I’m just nervous.”
It’s amazing to see the connection between them already. It’s like they picked up where they left off twenty-three years ago. And that connection will only continue growing. Even if Callie wakes up today, even if his bond with my sister is no longer needed to connect her to the present time, Preston’s not going anywhere.
“I’ve already lost you once,” my mom said fiercely to him yesterday. “I’m not going to risk losing you again. The past has already happened. Jessa survived it, and so did I. So let’s just leave well enough alone. If you go back, there’s no telling what the world will look like.” She lowered her voice. “No telling how worse off Callie’s condition could be.”
Preston couldn’t argue. Even though I know it kills him to lose twenty-three years with us, he didn’t want to risk losing our family, either. Not when we’re about to be reunited once again.
I tear my eyes from my parents and look around the rest of the room. We’re all here, gathered outside the room where Callie’s body lies. Mikey and Angela, with little Remi in her arms. Logan. Ryder, my best friend, who comforts me just with his presence. Zed and his wife, Laurel. Brayden. Tanner. My mom, my dad, and me. We’re the people who mean the most to Callie. We also happen to be the leadership of the Underground and the first fugitives Dresden would chase if —and when—she learns the truth.
After all, nothing stays a secret from Dresden for long. Tanner told me they’re already looking for Callie’s body. It’s been four days since we snuck her out of that cavernous room, and it’s only a matter of time before they find her.