Claudia paled and then turned a bright pink. "Are you saying you… Augusta, I cannot believe any such thing. I refuse to believe it."
"I fear I did." Augusta heaved a sigh. "Mind you, if I had it to do over again, I would think twice about the matter. It was not really all that wonderful, although it started out pleasantly enough. But Graystone assures me it will grow more comfortable with time and I shall just have to trust he knows what he is talking about."
"Augusta, are you actually telling me the man made love to you in a carriage?" Claudia's voice was weak with shock.
"I know you must find the whole notion disgusting and thoroughly reprehensible, but it did not actually seem that way at the time. I suppose you had to be there to understand."
"Graystone seduced you?" Claudia demanded, her voice hardening now.
Augusta frowned. "I would not say I was seduced, precisely. As I recall, he began the whole thing by reading me an extremely severe lecture on my general lack of propriety. He was quite annoyed with me. One might say passionately annoyed with me. And one sort of passion led to another, if you see what I mean."
"Good grief. He attacked you?"
"Heavens, no, Claudia. I just explained he made love to me. There is a difference, you know." Augusta paused for another sip of tea. "Although I did wonder about that difference myself for a time afterward. I confess I was a bit stiff and somewhat uncomfortable. But I felt much better after a bath this morning. I do not think I shall go riding in the park this afternoon, however."
"This is outrageous."
"I am well aware of that. I suppose there's a moral here somewhere. Aunt Prudence would no doubt have been able to summarize it for us. Something succinct and pithy, such as, Never get into a closed carriage with a gentleman or you are likely to find yourself married in haste and repenting at leisure, perhaps."
"I suppose that under the circumstances you must be grateful Graystone is willing to marry you," Claudia announced primly. "Some men might take the attitude that such loose behavior before marriage on the part of a female implies a grave lack of virtue."
"I fear it is his own behavior which shocked Graystone. Poor man. He is such a stickler for the proprieties, you know. He was extremely annoyed with himself and feels he will surely fall from grace again before the four months of our engagement are out. That is why we are all rushing around this morning preparing for a special license."
"I see." Claudia hesitated. "Are you truly unhappy about the way events have gone, Augusta?"
"Not entirely, but I will confess I am extremely anxious about the whole thing," Augusta admitted. "I wish I had the next four months to be certain of what I am about. I do not know if Graystone loves me, you see. He never said a word about love last night, not even—" She broke off, her face growing warm.
Claudia's eyes widened. "Graystone does not love you?"
"I have my doubts. He professes not to be concerned with such nonsense, you see. And the thing is, Claudia, I am not certain I can teach him to love me. That is what is so frightening about this business of rushing the marriage." Augusta gazed glumly out the window. "I do so wish he loved me. It would be very reassuring."
"As long as he is a good husband to you, I hardly think you have grounds for complaint," Claudia said crisply.
"I knew a Hampshire Ballinger would say that."
"Very few people in our circles marry for love. Mutual respect and some degree of affection are all that one can ask. Many couples do not even have that much. You know that, Augusta."
"Yes. But I suppose I had allowed myself some foolish dreams over the years. I wanted a marriage like that of my parents. Full of love and laughter and warmth. I am not quite certain what I shall be getting into with Graystone. I have realized recently that there is a part of him that is hidden from me."
"What an odd thing to say."
"I cannot fully explain, Claudia. I only know that much of Graystone lies deep in shadow. Lately I have begun to wonder just how much darkness there may be in him."
"Yet you are drawn to him, are you not?"
"From the first," Augusta agreed. "Which does not, I suppose, speak well for my intelligence." She set down her teacup with a clatter. "And then there is the matter of his daughter. I have never even met her and I cannot help wondering if she will like me."
"Everyone likes you, Augusta."
Augusta blinked. "That is very nice of you to say." She smiled bravely. "But enough of that morbid conversation. I am to be married on the morrow and that is all there is to it. I shall just have to make the best of matters, shall I not?"
Claudia hesitated and then leaned forward to speak in a soft rush. "Augusta, if you are genuinely alarmed by the notion of marrying Graystone, perhaps you should speak to Papa. You know he cares for you very much and he would not want to force you into this marriage against your will."
"I doubt that even Uncle Thomas could convince Graystone to hold off on the wedding now. The man has made up his mind and he is quite strong-willed." Augusta shook her head ruefully. "In any event, I am afraid it is much too late for me to back out. I am soiled goods, you know. A fallen woman. I can only be grateful the gentleman who assisted me in my fall from virtue is willing to do the right thing."
"But you are strong-willed also and no one can force you into this, not if you really do not want—" Claudia broke off to stare at her. "Oh, dear. I have just realized. You truly are in love with Graystone, are you not?"
"Is it so terribly obvious?"
"Only to one who knows you well," Claudia assured her gently.
"That is indeed a relief. I am not at all certain Graystone would welcome a lovesick wife. He would probably find it quite a burden."
"So you are going to live up to the rash and reckless reputation of your side of the family and plunge yourself heedlessly into this marriage." Claudia appeared thoughtful.
Augusta poured herself another cup of tea. "Things are going to be difficult enough for a while. I just wish I did not have to follow in the footsteps of such a virtuous and noble paragon of a wife as my predecessor apparently was. I have always found comparisons of that sort quite odious and they are bound to be made in my case."
Claudia nodded in understanding. "Yes, I imagine it will be extremely difficult for you to live up to the high standards set by Graystone's first wife. From all accounts Catherine Montrose was a model of the womanly virtues. But Graystone will no doubt assist you in your efforts to improve yourself to her level."
Augusta winced. "No doubt." There was silence for a time in the library, although the sounds of trunks being shifted about overhead could be heard. "Do you know, Claudia, one of the things that concerns me most at the moment is that I shall not be able to call upon Sally for the next few weeks. She really is very ill, you know. And I am so fond of her. I shall worry a great deal about her welfare."
"You know I have never quite approved of your association with her or that club she operates," Claudia said slowly. "But I understand that you consider her a dear friend. If you like, I shall undertake to call on her once or twice a week while you are gone. I can relay news and write to you of her condition."
Augusta felt an enormous sense of relief. "You will do that for me, Claudia?"
Claudia squared her shoulders. "I fail to see why I should not do so. She might appreciate the occasional visit in your absence. And it would relieve your mind to know that I was keeping an eye on her."
"I would appreciate that more than I can say, Claudia. Why do we not go to see her this very afternoon? I can introduce you."