I think it must have taken the girl great courage to follow me up the ramp, onto the landing platform, in the vicinity of that winged monster.
When I turned about, to regard her, she knelt swiftly, spreading her knees. It was in this fashion that I had had her kneel earlier, in the inn yard, before me, when I had assumed she was slave.
"Farewell," I said.
"No," she said. "Take me with you!"
"What?" I said.
"I have sold my things," she said. " I have now no more than what you see upon me, two slender black cords, and a strip of yellow cloth, and these coins!" She held them out.
"The purse is heavy," I said. "Buy what you need with it."
"I will give you them all," she said. "Take me with you!"
"I do not understand," I said.
"You have conquered me," she said. "You have taught me that I am a female!" I regarded her. She did look well on her knees.
"Oh, this did not just happen," she said. "I have known this about myself for years. I fought it for years. And now I surrender!"
"Completely, and without reservation?" I inquired.
"Yes!" she said. "Yes!"
"I see," I said.
"I am tired of living a lie," she said. "I am feminine, truly." "I see," I said.
"I belong to men such as you," she said.
That did not seem to me unlikely.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am Phoebe, Lady of Telnus," she said.
I smiled inwardly. Cosian beauties make excellent slaves. They are not unusual in Port Kar.
"That is a pretty name," I said.
"Take me with you!" she said. "I will pay!"
"In the direction I ride," I said, "there lies danger."
"I accept the risks," she said.
"Even as you are?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "yes!"
To be sure, the risks were doubtless less for women than for men, for the dangers would threaten primarily from men, and men would know what to do with women. Perhaps the worst that might happen to her would be that she would find herself in the chains of a slave, and laboring, under whips, as a female beast of burden. To be sure, she did face danger, as she was free. Free women, being persons, are far more likely to be killed then slaves, who are animals. Sackers, for example, particularly when the blood lust has passed from them, would not be likely to slay slaves, assuming they are docile and desperately concerned to be totally pleasing, any more than kaiila. They would simply appropriate them for their own.
"I do not need a slave at present," I said. Such did not accord with the first portion of my plan for entering Ar's Station.
"Take me as your servant," she begged.
"My servant?" I asked, looking upon the slim, kneeling, half-naked beauty. "Yes!" she said.
"The tarn is ready," said the attendant.
"I beg female fulfillment!" she said.
"You will not receive full female fulfillment as a mere servant," I said. Such is not totally owned.
"Take me then as a slave!" she said.
"I do not need a slave at present," I said.
"Take me then as a servant," she said. She held out the coins. "I will pay you to do so."
I considered her, her needs, her beauty, her desperation.
"And if I server well," she said, "perhaps later I will prove worthy of the collar.
She lifted the coins higher, pleadingly.
"What sort of servant is it which you wish to be?" I asked.
"Whatever sort of servant you desire," she said.
"A service without restriction, or reservation?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "such a servant!"
"A full servant?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "a full servant!"
"It is only as such a servant that I would consider taking you," I said. "Take me as a full servant," she said.
"In whose name do you ask this?" I asked.
"In the name of all women such as I, and all men such as you," she said. "You are but a hair's breadth from slavery," I said.
"It is my hope that you will eventually permit me to traverse that hair's breath," she said.
The tarn opened and closed its wings, and she lowered her head, turning it to the side, and shrank down, frightened, cringing, so low that her head was but inches from the ground. She was terrified of the bird.
I considered the mounting ladder.
"Take me with you," she begged, lifting her head.
I saw the desperation in her.
"I want to be myself," she said, "what I really am!"
"Do you know what you are asking?" I asked.
She shuddered.
"Where I am going," I said, "men do not compromise with females." She looked up at me, trembling.
"And clad as you are," I said, "I assure you men will see you as a female." "It is what I am," she said.
"Do you understand the nature of such men?" I asked.
"I do not desire a relationship with any other sort of man, she said. "Such men prefer slaves," I said.
"I will serve them as such!" she said.
The tarn moved again, shifting about, and she cried out, frightened, again shrinking small.
How terrified she was of the tarn!
She was very beautiful, so slim and piteous, kneeling on the heavy beams of the platform.
"No slave need I now," I said.
"Take me then now only as your servant, she said.
"My full servant?" I smiled.
"Yes," she said. "Then afterwards do with me what you will."
"You tempt me," I said. "You are a beautiful female, one worthy to be sold from a slave block."
"Let me buy my servitude," she said.
"I hesitate to carry a free woman into danger," I said.
"You would surely hesitate less," she said, "if I were a captive, or servant." "True," I said. "Them," said she, lifting the coins, "let me buy my captivity, and servitude."
I took the coins from her, and out them in my pouch. "Stand," I said. "Put your head back. Open your mouth, widely."
I determined in a moment or two that she was not concealing any small coins or tiny jewels in her nostrils, her ears, her hair or mouth. I then conducted her by the arm to the side of the threshold of the tarn gate and stood her there, her feet well back, her arms extended, the palms of her hands leaning against the wood. There was nothing concealed beneath her arms, as was easy to determine, she in this position. I lifted her feet one at a time, checking the insteps and between the toes for any taped materials. I then examined the rest of her body. "Oh!" she said. "Oh!" I then pulled the cloth up again, snugly, as it had been. I then pulled her back from the side of the gate, standing her again on her feet.
She looked up at me, reproachfully.
"it would appear that you are coinless," I said.
"I am," she said.
"Put out your hands," I said.
She did so, and cried out, suddenly, startled, as slave bracelets danced upon her wrists.
She lifted her wrists before her, as if not understanding how they could be so suddenly clasped in steel.
"You are now my captive," I told her, "and I am going to keep you, for a time, though for perhaps no more than a few Ehn, as merely my servant, though a full servant. At the end of that time, however long I choose for it to be, I will do with you as I wish, perhaps making you a slave, perhaps giving you to another, perhaps selling you into slavery, whatever I please."
She looked at me, frightened.
"Do you understand?" I asked.
"Yes," she said.
I then thrust her, not gently, toward the tarn, until she stood near the foot of the mounting ladder, it dangling from the saddle.