“Fuck you! Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“Room with the other two assholes for all I care. You get two days, just like them. The clock is ticking. All three of you are excused. Get going.”
There was another uproar, and this time calls for my impeachment. I actually let the Dregs call a vote, and the only hands raised were about eight on the left, some crones and Dregs. The rest of the room was silent, and generally looking at their shoes in embarrassment. Boris, the Hammer, and Ghormley all stomped out of the basement. We heard the door slamming even down there.
Once they were gone, I started in on the remaining brothers. “I have seen some stupid shit in my time, but this really takes the cake! I was tempted to simply resign and let you all hang, but you voted me in and somebody has to clean up this mess. You should be ashamed to call yourselves Keggers.”
“Hey, nobody knew,” commented a sophomore who lived over in Grogans’.
“You want to tell me that three brothers could make nine pledges crawl naked on two floors of this house and nobody knew? The house was totally empty and nobody heard a single thing? That nobody looked at what was going on or stuck their head out the door? Try again.”
“What were we supposed to do?” asked somebody else.
“I don’t know… maybe show a little backbone? Maybe get up on your hind legs and say ‘STOP!’ Maybe get between these idiots and the pledges. Jesus Christ! You went and asked these kids to join you, to become your brothers, to stand with you and become something special. Is it so much to ask that you protect them from a bunch of drunks? Christ, I’m amazed that any of them wanted to stay in!”
Everybody went back to staring at their shoes. I decided to finish the meeting. “Here’s the last part. We need to fix this. Everybody is dismissed unless you are a big brother to one of these kids.” Everybody got up except the fourteen big brothers. “I want to meet all of these guys tomorrow. Why don’t we meet in the lounge of Crockett at eight? They should all be in their dorms by then. I want each of you to go down there, right now, find your pledge and tell him I will meet them in Crockett at eight tomorrow night.”
“Now?” somebody muttered.
“Right the fuck now, goddammit!” Billy was actually a big brother and was still sitting there taking notes. I turned to him and said, “That’s it, Billy. Pack up your shit. The meeting and the emergency is over.” I stood and went upstairs.
I kept my own counsel that night, and went to bed early, emotionally drained. The worst that had happened on the first go was that a couple of the Dregs got loaded one night and took a fire axe to the door of the Black Light Room before a couple of guys grabbed them. The next day, sober, they were made to go out and buy a new door and replace it while the House Manager watched.
The next day, at eight, I was in the lounge at Crocket, surrounded by the other fourteen big brothers and a dozen freshmen, some curious and some angry and sullen. Two of the kids had refused to come. My speech was simple. “Guys, I don’t have a whole lot to say to you except I’m sorry. What happened the other day should never have happened, and I apologize for what did happen. I was away until yesterday and didn’t find out until then. If I had known earlier, I would have apologized earlier. It will never happen again.”
“No shit!” commented Greg Morris, one of the kids who had quit.
“Yeah, no shit. We handled the in-house problem. Have any of you heard what happened last night?” Technically, the meeting was secret, but somebody must have said something to somebody else. There were both some shrugs and some nods around the room. “The three guys who did it, Boris, the Hammer, and Mike, are all gone. By tomorrow they’ll have moved out. The Hammer is already gone and Boris and Mike were packing as we came over here. That kind of behavior is simply unacceptable.”
There were a few shocked looks around the room, including on the face of Greg. I suspected some of these guys figured we would sweep it under the rug. “To you guys, I am simply saying we’re sorry, both as a fraternity and as individuals. We failed you. You trusted us and we failed in that trust. All I can do now is apologize and ask for your forgiveness. Some of you have said you don’t want to be part of us anymore. I understand that; I truly do. I am asking you to forgive us and join us. Make us better than we obviously are.”
Greg looked at me. “Why are you doing this? You weren’t even around, and you won’t be there next year anyway. Why do you care?”
I nodded. “That’s a fair question. No, I wasn’t here, and no, I won’t be coming back. I could duck this and say it wasn’t my fault and let sleeping dogs lie. On the other hand, I’m the Chancellor. I ran for this office and then I held my hand on a Bible and swore an oath to do the damn job and now I have to deal with this shit.” I looked around the room at all the kids. “In three years, one of you guys is going to be the Chancellor.” There were some murmurs at this, and I smiled. “Yeah, one of you guys is going to be the Chancellor. The rest of us are going to be long gone and history, and some asshole is going to dump something shitty in your lap. Just remember how you signed up for the job and don’t run away from it.”
I finished by saying, “That’s pretty much it. We’re sorry. We fucked up. Give us a second chance. Someday you’ll be recruiting new brothers. Learn from us and be better than us, and make us better by joining us now!” I stood up and went to each of the pledges and shook his hand and thanked him for coming and apologized personally. Then I grabbed the two big brothers whose pledges had refused to come, and we went and tracked them down over in Hall Hall. One talked to me in his room, the other refused to talk.
Ultimately, four of the six rejoined us, including Greg, the pledge who had quizzed me in the lounge. One in the lounge didn’t join us, and the guy who refused to see me didn’t come back. Eight new pledges would have been a problem. Twelve gave them a decent chance of staying alive. It still wasn’t over, however. Two weeks later the issue came alive again.
It was the last house meeting before Hell Week, and we needed to do the final vote to approve the twelve incoming pledges. This is generally a pro forma sort of affair. The Pledge Master says a name and the box gets passed around the circle. By now everybody knows these guys, and the box just gets sent along. Seniors and crones don’t even vote, especially if they aren’t coming back the following year. ‘You assholes can pick out your own assholes to live with!’ is the general motto. About the only guy who even votes, if anybody does, is their big brother, to throw a symbolic white ball.
This meeting was no different, and the first pledge’s name happened to be Greg Morris. His name was announced and the box started around the room, starting at the right hand side, where it was mostly sophomores sitting. It kept going, hand to hand, with nobody doing anything, almost up until the end, when Jim Easton ostentatiously took it, reached inside, and dropped a ball in. Most of us just stared at him, including his fellow crones. Jim was finishing up a five year engineering masters program and wouldn’t be back next year. He was going against all tradition in voting.
Buddy Ebbits, the Pledge Master took the box at the end of the line and looked inside, and then set it down on the table in front of me. Inside was a single black ball, and you could hear people around the council table gasping. I motioned them with my hands to stay silent. Buddy was ashen faced. This had never occurred in memory of anybody in the house, or even of any of the alumni who occasionally wandered through.