“Your PhD? Oh my! That’s amazing!” said Lynette.
I tried to shrug it off, but it was out there now. Big Bob stared at me. “You’re going to be a doctor?”
“Of mathematics, sir.”
“Damn fool thing to be going into the army then,” he said huffily. “If you’re so smart, why didn’t you get a real scholarship?” I just rolled my eyes and bit my tongue.
“Just how old are you, Carl?” asked Harriet.
“I just turned 19, ma’am.”
“What are you, some kind of genius?” asked Mark.
I put my utensils down and wiped my mouth with my napkin. Mark was trying to push my buttons again, and had been all day long. Worst of all was that his parents knew what he was doing and didn’t call him on it. Marilyn had gotten into it with him a couple of times earlier in the day, but he hadn’t stopped and his parents hadn’t said anything to him. I wondered if they were trying to test me. Marilyn couldn’t figure it out, either. For instance, earlier that day Mark had heard her laughing at me about being a Boy Scout, and he had started in on it. I simply recited the Scout Law while his parents listened in, and then asked if he thought his sister should be dating a guy who didn’t believe those things. He had just sneered and then left the room.
Now, as he rode me about working on a doctorate, I looked over at him and said, “Yes, Mark, that’s exactly what I am. Is there a problem with that?”
He blinked his eyes and tried for a comeback. “Yeah, I think you’re full of crap! If you’re so smart, what are you doing with Marilyn?” That got a number of laughs from his brothers. I noticed that Harriet and Big Bob weren’t laughing, but they weren’t telling their kids to shut up, either.
I felt very cold inside, and if it had just been me, I would have punched him out. I knew that was a really lousy idea, but I couldn’t put up with it any more. I set my napkin down beside my plate. I felt a kick at my ankles and Marilyn was trying to keep me calm. I looked across at her and she was silently pleading with me to keep my cool. I took a deep breath and just nodded at her. Dinner had been bad but edible; the turkey was dry as a bone, but with enough gravy and salt, anything can be eaten. Now it felt like an icy ball in the pit of my stomach. I looked at Mark. “Your sister, Mark, is a bright light in the darkness of my soul. The real question is what is an amazing girl like Marilyn doing with me.” I turned my head to Harriet. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll excuse myself for now.”
I pushed my chair back and stood up. I think everyone was in a certain state of shock at my leaving. I went out of the kitchen and through the living room, and found myself in the library. Behind me, Marilyn started yelling at her brother, and the volume level became intolerable. I looked around the room. While I normally unpack when I stay in a hotel, there was no place to put anything, so I was living out of my bag, and I rolled up my sleeping bag every morning. I put on my coat and hat, grabbed my shit, and headed out. The screaming in the kitchen was approaching jet engine levels. I went outside and tossed my stuff in the back seat of the Galaxie, and then went back inside.
Nobody had even noticed I had gone out or come in. I went back into the library and found a scratch pad and a pen, and wrote some stuff on the pad. Then I went back into the lions’ den. Everybody stopped yelling and stared at me, now wearing my winter coat and my hat. I walked up to the table where Mark was sitting on the far side and dropped the note pad onto his dinner plate, right in the middle of his mashed potatoes. “Mark, you think I’m full of crap about college? That’s the number for the RPI switchboard, and Doctor Rhineburg’s office. Feel free to call him on Monday to confirm I’m going for my doctorate. If you ever call me a liar or insult your sister in front of me again, I’ll feed you your teeth.”
Mark just stared at me as I turned towards his parents. “Mr. Lefleur, feel free to think me a fool for defending this country. My family has been defending your family for generations. We don’t ask for your thanks, but please do us the courtesy of not mocking us, either. Mrs. Lefleur, dinner was very nice, but I think I’ve worn out my welcome. I’ll take my leave now before I say or do something we will all regret.” I headed back out to the living room.
The room erupted, with Marilyn leading the howl. I was already out the door when she started crying out, “Stop! Stop! Wait!” Marilyn caught me as I was opening the door to my car. “Where are you going?! Come back!”
I turned to face her, and smiled down at her. I wrapped my arms around her. It was absolutely frigid and she was already starting to shiver. “If I don’t get out of there, I am going to go bust, and punch out either your brother or your father or maybe just both of them. I’m heading back to Kegs.”
“You’re leaving?!”
I gave her a wry smile. “The guys staying there need me to cook for them. They’re probably starving by now!” She started to protest, but I leaned down and kissed her, stopping her. “It’s for the best. I can’t stay here.” I gently turned her towards the house. “Go inside before you freeze to death!” She stood there numbly, and I got into my car and pulled away.
I drove back to Troy on autopilot, not really noticing or seeing anything. I felt as numb as if I had walked back through the cold. I parked the Galaxie at Kegs and walked in through the kitchen. The light was on in the living room and I found Marty there watching television.
He looked up at me in surprise. “What are you doing here? I thought you were at Marilyn’s?”
“It was a disaster!” I tossed my bag on the floor and sank down onto the opposite couch.
“How so?”
“Well, let’s see.” I held up my hand and started ticking things off on my fingers. “Marilyn’s parents discovered I’m working on my doctorate. They think college is a waste of time and think I’m a fool for going to school.”
“Yeah? They sent their daughter to college!” Marty interrupted.
I waved that off. “She’s a girl. That’s so she can meet a guy and get married. Anyway, that’s one. Two, her brother called me a liar and said I wasn’t going for a PhD and I threatened to feed him his teeth.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Marilyn stopped me.”
Marty nodded. “Should have anyway.”
I shrugged. “Three, her old man thinks I’m an idiot for wasting my time in the army. Only idiots go in the army.”
“He’s right about that.”
I just flipped my friend the bird. I started a fourth finger. “They treat Marilyn like shit, and I feel like smacking the bunch of them upside the head with a two-by-four half the time. Let’s face it, Marty, they’re white trash! Hell, they make white trash look good. Jesus Christ, her father’s a trailer salesman for God’s sake! Name one job more white trash than that!”
“Yeah, what’s that make the guy mooning after his daughter?”
“An asshole. An asshole that needs a drink. You got the keys to the bar cabinet? I’m all out.”
Marty rolled upright off the couch and shrugged. “What the hell, why not. Come on.” He went off to his room and came back with a ring of keys. The bar cabinet was the most secure room in the frat house, considering that everybody who lived there was an alcoholic in training. He unlocked the bar room and then the bar cabinet, and I reached in and found a fifth of Black Velvet. “It’s going on your bar tab, you know.”
“Fuck it. You want a shot?” I grabbed a couple of shot glasses from behind the bar and filled them without waiting for a reply.
Marty grabbed his. “Mud in your eye!”
“Skoal!”
Marty locked up the bar and took a second shot for himself, and we headed back upstairs. “You going to be all right?”