A good looking middle-aged woman was coming the other way, leading the rest of her family, which seemed to consist of a number of very nice looking high school age girls. “Awfully informal, aren’t we?” she asked with a smile.
“No ma’am. This is just basic informal. Awfully informal wouldn’t require the towel. Care to see the difference?”
The girls started giggling, as Momma laughed loudly. “As tempting as you make that sound, young man, I think I’ll have to take a rain check.”
“Too bad. You ever get informal yourself?” I asked.
The girls giggled even more, as their mother blushed. “How do you think I ended up with a son and four daughters? Speaking of which…”
I eyed her figure, which was quite satisfactory. “Five kids? No way! Stop by 206 on the way out!” I slipped past the ladies as she laughed and her daughters giggled, and headed back to my room.
Five minutes later, I was dressed and working on a gin and tonic as a hair of the dog, when the door started pounding. I opened it to find a very, very large fellow named Bo Berzinski from down the hall and around the corner. “What’s up, Bo?”
“Were you hitting on my mother?” he asked.
Buddy was staring at us, his mind reeling with questions. I sipped my drink, and wondered if my repartee was going to get my ass kicked again. Bo just might be able to pull it off!
“Damn straight! Your sisters, too. They’re all a lot cuter than you are, Bo.” I opened the door wide. “Come on in. Drink? It must be after five somewhere.”
Bo laughed and came in. “Yeah, they are. I’m the sane one, I think.” I mixed him a drink and handed it to him. “They wanted to know if you wanted to go to lunch with us. You must have really impressed them.”
I raised an eyebrow at this. Was Bo pimping me to his Mom and younger sisters? “And what did your Dad say to that?”
“Wouldn’t know. Haven’t seen the bastard in years! Interested?”
I shrugged. “Why not.” I changed into some decent clothes and followed Bo back to his room.
Bo’s room was the same size as mine, and it was packed to the rafters. Between his mother, his four sisters, a roommate, and a couple of guys trying to hit on the oldest sister, it was loud and cramped. Bo and I weren’t helping. Bo solved the problem by picking up one of the interlopers by the waist from behind and turning around, to face the door. Jerry Kozak, the victim, squawked loudly, but was quickly shoved out the door. His roommate got the idea and vamoosed on his own. Bo kicked the door shut. “There, that’s better.”
“You do have a way about you, Bo,” I commented. “Hey, Frank.”
Frank Dittmers, Bo’s roommate, nodded. “Hey, Carl.”
Bo’s mom smiled at me. “Is that your name? Carl?”
I looked her over and got a better view than when I was passing in the hall. She was a very attractive lady, probably about my mother’s age, or maybe a few years younger, with wide hips and an impressive bust, but a surprisingly narrow waist. She was tall, almost as tall as I was, in her heels. Her hair was a deep auburn, and her eyes were blue.
“Yes, ma’am, I’m Carl Buckman.”
She held out her hand. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Carl. I’m Sophia Berzinski. I have to apologize for teasing you in the hallway. I had forgotten what it’s like to have a young man around the house, now that Bo has moved out.”
“Please, Mrs. Berzinski, it was my fault for speaking out of turn. I apologize for that. My mouth tends to get me in trouble at times.”
She grinned. “I just bet it does! Would you care to join us for lunch? Bo says the food is better off campus.” She looked at Frank. “Frank, you’re invited too, of course.”
Frank smiled. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m going out in ten minutes to see my girlfriend.”
Both Bo and I stared at him. “You met a girl? Here? On campus?” asked Bo. I nodded in agreement with the question.
Frank grinned. “It’s true! They actually do exist! She’s in my Chem 1 section.”
I smiled. “Will wonders never cease!” I turned back to Sophia and her daughters. “Well ladies, that leaves me free to escort all of you.”
“Forget it, Buckman. They’re all too young for you!” commented Bo, which got him a loud collection of raspberries from his sisters.
I looked at the oldest girl. “I bet he was a real problem with boyfriends back home.”
She stuck her tongue out at her brother. “Yeah, but not anymore!”
Bo’s eyes opened wide at that, and he started quizzing the girls on boyfriends, which they ignored. Sophia laughed and motioned us towards the door. “Enough! I’m hungry. Where are we going?”
Bo’s sisters all started arguing about that, with each one wanting a different restaurant or style of food. It was decided in the end to go out for pizza, since this was the one thing that everybody liked. I told them about the place down at the Price Chopper mall and they agreed to that. “How do we get there?” I asked. “Unless you’re driving a bus, we’re going to need two cars.”
“Bo and you can go in his car, and I’ll take the girls. You can show Bo where this place is, and we’ll follow,” said Sophia.
We headed down the hallway and I found my room door closed, with music blaring from the inside. I pounded on the door, and Buddy opened it, letting out a pungent cloud of smoke. I ran in and grabbed my jacket, and then went out again. Sophia was smiling and inhaled theatrically, which her daughters missed, but both Bo and I caught. I blushed and muttered, “Buddy!” Bo snorted and nodded. By now, Buddy’s antics were legendary.
No, Sophia wasn’t driving a bus. She had a late model Cadillac De Ville in pristine condition. “Very nice!”
“Thank you. I would have thought you’d prefer a little sports car like Bo drives.” Bo had a late model Mustang. It appeared that the Berzinskis were loaded.
“Sporty is nice, but not all it’s cracked up to be. I prefer the quality of the ride, myself, something smooth and comfortable,” I replied, winking at her.
She smiled. “I see.”
I wasn’t introduced to the daughters until we got to the restaurant. There was Maria, the oldest girl, who was a senior in high school and the reason they were visiting; she was thinking about going to Rensselaer next year. The next two girls were Julietta and Margreta, a pair of fifteen year old identical twins, and bringing up the rear was Antonia, a twelve year old just starting junior high. The entire family was visiting from the Boston area.
Sophia asked, “So, Carl, are you in Bo’s classes?”
Bo laughed at that. “Carl’s the dorm genius. He’s not in any of our classes.”
I tried to play it down. “It’s not like that. I’m a math major and Bo’s in engineering.” I looked at Bo for help.
He nodded. “Chemical engineering. Still, you aren’t in classes with any of us. You’re what, a sophomore or junior?”
Sophia eyed me curiously. “Really?”
I just waved it off. “I simply had some advanced classes in high school. It’s no big deal.” Time to defuse this. I looked over at Maria. “So, if you’re looking to go to school here, what’s your major going to be?”
Maria and her sisters were all duplicates of their mother, real knockout redheads, in other words, even the baby of the family, Antonia. Maria answered, “Mechanical engineering.”